friend with benefits, what to do?

[onlyconfused]

We met through internet for people that look for casual relationships, and agree to be friends with benefits. To me, it started as a physical thing, there is the physical attraction between us that keep me going back to see him, I enjoy our once a week meeting, he is good in bed, and also smart enough to hold a conversation, etc out of the bedroom. I knew that this is based on sex, and in order for myself not to get attached to him, i went hunting for different men, that makes me feel that i have no rights to ask or have more than what i have with him. However, each hunting did not end the way i would like to. We talk about other things, like past relationship, family issue, and etc. from what he told me, i knew that he is definitely not the dating type of guy, just too much happened in his past, there is the damaged, and the broken. he possibly belongs to the latter. though he always smiles, but i feel that deep inside, there is a different him.

i guess i have no rights to ask if he has other FWB, regardless what he answers, nothing i can do about it. i thought i could be really cool about it. i thought at least once a week is good enough. but it is human nature to be greedy, i would like to think that he only sleeps with me. until recently, accidentally i saw his txt msg, it is from another woman. i got upset with myself, because i was so naive, and this txt msg just forced me to face the reality. besides he does nothing wrong, he simply just does what we agrees - friends with benefits with another girl....

he doesnt know that i am aware of that text msg, he was telling me about his previous relationship, and that he does not like people playing games with him. in other word, people shall be upfront. i dont know if i should tell him about my feeling for him, it is a bit more than friends with benefits, even myself is confused about it. but i know i dont really have the time for a relationship given i just ended a bad relationship a few months ago, i am not in the right mode for it. besides, with work and study. besides, i dont even think/know if his feelings for me stays as FWB only. I am worried that if i tell him about my feeling, he will run away from me..haha...i will lose a really good man in bed...this thought is somewhat depressing. i know people say you can always find replacement, but it is somewhat hard to find a replacement of him.

so, the question is what should i do about this? we wont see each other for 2 weeks, i feel somewhat relief, that i could at least use this time to work out what i am going to do about it. should i just keep quiet and let this FBW relationship die naturally. or should i at least tell him what i really feel about it, and why i feel that i have to walk out of it. at least he deserves to know the truth about my decision????

[ShellyZ]

This is why friends with benefits doesn't usually work. One person gets attached and develops feelings, and it's usually the woman. In general, it's harder for women to separate sex from their emotions. A lot of men seem to do it quite easily, so friends with benefits is a great arrangement for them. You can try talking to him about it, but understand that he will probably not want to give up the FWB deal. If that's the case, you should move on before you get even more attached to him.