jealousy and anger. Advice to fix our relation ship

[housten]

Hello everybody!

so i have this problem thats killing me. Here's my story.
Okay, i've been together with this girl for 7 months. in november she broke up with me. she said it was for the best. because we broke up is that she found some pictures of another girls on my phone. Yes, i did a mistake, and i hate myself for it, and i still had contact to my ex girlfriend. When she found out, she ignored me for 7 days and kinda cheated on me ( she felt another guys sexual part while sitting on his lap at a party" this happend early in our relationship, and we tried to move past it, but she couldnt. She hated me because she thought i always looked at other girls and things like that, and i understand that completely. So we broke up the november before i was shipped to the marines for 1 month. So after 2 weeks after i came home, we started to hang out and talk again. I said i want to be in a relationship with her again, because i love her with all my heart. And she said she wanted to, but we need to work us up again, and fix the problems that ruined our old relationship.

Then she said she had to confess something before we are going to try again, then she said that she had sex with another guy a couple times, touched another and maked up with him. As my natrual instict i got ****ing pissed, but didnt do anything, just slept it off. she said she did this to get over me. it felt very unfair, beacuse while i was at the marine, i was so depressed, and hid my tears good as i could. while i was sad as ****, she was on a vaction having fun and ****ing another guy that was twice her age, it was kinda sick. later i said i can get over it, because i love her so much.

Later in this month, i felt progress, i could let it go i felt. And things with her was getting better, but we're still not committing, just trying to fix everything, and progress showed.

But some days i ago, i found something that broke my heart and hurting like a knife in the back, because i felt i little betrayed, but we arent committed, but it still hurts. I was kinda sneeking in her facebook when she forgot she had her facebook logged on while she was out of her room, so i found some texts. she still had contact with the guy she had sex with on a vaction. They texted very dirty, like "i luvd how you suckd my banan" and replied "i know you love my lips" and that broke my heart. So i confronted her with this, and i asked "why are you re-fantasizing about what happend while you were on a vaction" she said she didnt but because "it was fun" and then she said she loved me, and i will never see it again and stop talking to him.
I believe her, because she have never lied in our relationship, and is a very honest person, because this i know very well.
But it still hurts, and i cant get the picture away from my head that she had sex with him.

Please help me! i need advice! Thank you very much for reading, and trying to understand. (i know i have shit grammar)

[Cerby]

The hell is wrong with you? She clearly doesn't respect you (nor do you her for going through her things). This isn't going to work for either of you, and the longer you try the most disappointed you'll be in the end. She is a whore and you're a doormat, time to get single and start respecting yourself.

You say she never lied in your relationship THAT YOU KNOW OF. How about her fondling a dude at a party while sitting on her lap and then not telling you? Sounds like a lie by omission to me.

[Mademoiselle V]

The hell is wrong with you? She clearly doesn't respect you (nor do you her for going through her things). This isn't going to work for either of you, and the longer you try the most disappointed you'll be in the end. She is a whore and you're a doormat, time to get single and start respecting yourself.

You say she never lied in your relationship THAT YOU KNOW OF. How about her fondling a dude at a party while sitting on her lap and then not telling you? Sounds like a lie by omission to me.

Shouldn't we forgive and forget to move on in life? Do we really have to look back in our love stories and say.. "he was a bastard, she was a slut" or can we try our best for as long as we are willing to do so.
Maybe if we were a bit more open minded, if we could step out of our prejudices and morale, step out of our hurt, if we were more willing to understand each other's weaknesses and to appreciate each other's strenght, maybe then we could be always happy in Love.
Love hurts, love sucks, love is not fair but if we are willing to fight for it, no matter the outcome, if we know we gave it our best go... then we are not afraid any more... to start living, you have to be let go of the fear and have faith. (0h.. communication and honesty is a good one too !!)

[housten]

Well, thanks for the reply. If i've seen this a post like this, i would've reply the same. But the matter is very complicated, i just wrote the basics.
I agree with you that she doesnt respect me, and i dont respect my self.
I cant say i know 100% that she still holds some secrets, but im 99% sure. Because she is very honest, and she just cant lie, if not, i dont really know her well i as i think. But im sure about that.

But thanks for the reply cerby!

[smackie9]

Oh good lord what a load of crap. I don't think anyone here is ready for a committed relationship. I feel you should just date casually and see other people. Having a relationship seems to too much work for you two. Just be honest with yourself....it's really not a healthy relationship and seems to be more bs at every turn.....just be friends.

[michelle23]

Okay OP I am not gonna join in to the pity party of poor you coz you created this mess. You were still in contact with your ex and she dumped you for lying to her and being secretive. She then was free and single to do what ever the hell she wants. And she does not trust you anymore which is why she has not committed to you again. Shes just trying to get revenge and hurt you coz you hurt her which is childish and immature but guess what? Her actions say she is over you so move on