What's up with our sex views today?

[DateDude]

The USA (and probably other countries too. But I live here so I can only speak for the USA.) seems to have an issue when it comes to sex beliefs. Namely, they seem to be insane. What am I talking about, you ask? Well, think about this for a second. We shield sex from each other, we shield sex from "children" (that word/concept never existed before the 1800s, by the way, according to my college textbooks), we make our youth feel uncomfortable to have sex in the house when family is around, we make our youth feel like they shouldn't have sex at all, we outlaw sex that can be seen by any strangers, it's considered "bad" for anyone to see anyone else's "private parts," and etc...

There are religions and all kinds of other groups that talk about how "dirty" and "sinful" sex is. Some atheists also preach the same. Males and females are often criticized for being "dirty" when they have proven to be just following their natural psysiological response to have sex. However, SEX is how we were ALL created. ALL of us. You, me, everyone who replies to this thread, the pope, everyone in Arabia, China, Haiti, Guademala, Nigeria, Iraq, Australia, Norway, etc... EVERYONE was created by 2 people having sex. So step back and think for a moment... What kind of sense does that make!?!?!? It's like we just take a normal, fun thing and ruin it for ourselves by attaching weird identities to it.

Some people, likely the more ignorant ones, will view this question and say "this guy is just a radical," but what's funny is that I am questioning this due to what I am learning in college. College is considered to be a GREAT thing in society right now, but what's ironic is that college itself often brings criticism to society and makes you realize how baseless and at times silly some of our beliefs and traditions are. I am in a sociology class and I have an extremely well-written textbook with nearly 150 scholarly sources per chapter, and it is basically showing how most of our beliefs are not tried and true but relatively new. I'm sure many of you are aware that just 100-150 years ago, people were getting MARRIED at age 12-15 and there was often a HUGE age gap. Now, this same activity is considered a crime and "horribly wrong." In fact, as I am learning in my current class, the idea of children and adolescence is new and never even existed a few years back. In other words, there were no "children" to "protect" and/or "shield" from sex, cussing, and other "adult" behavior.

One last question... If these "norms" are so necessary, then why do they include sending me off to a college where I ironically learn about how silly they are and where they are challenged? What's up with us??? Lol...

Keep in mind that I'm not asking this to suggest that everyone should just go out and start having more sex... What I'm saying is WE ALREADY ALL DO. So why make it hard for ourselves for no reason??? Literally, NO reason... Look around you, how many teen pregnancies do you see? Why do people really believe this strange taboo somehow helps us? It's like a few people in society come up with some nonsense and everyone starts just following it. Then, 100 years later, you get arrested for not following it. It's kinda scary to think of it like this.

[sweetkissesforu]

And you point being is what

[warriormaiden]

The 1800's happened. The middle class movement stepped on to the scene. They were trying to throw out everything that was debased and unethical about the nobility class, the wealthy, the people in high power. And what they saw in that kind of lifestyle was alot of immorality. Especially concerning sex, which their bibles told them was only meant for procreation, and not for enjoyment.
They got so wrapped up in purifying themselves and making themselves worthy, that they even told small children that playing with toys and going out playing games with your friends was wrong. They were consumed with that motto about being idle and temptation swiftly jumping right on top of ya.


We're just a product of that kind of thinking. It'll take some time for us to not become so uptight about everything. There's also that whole 'opening your eyes' concept. Children are scientifically not emotionally ready for severe commitments such as marriage and sex. It can seriously scar you, if you don't do it at the appropriate time.
I believe when it comes to teenagers and sex, there should be boundaries. Not because it's SEX, but because.....lets face it. Teenagers are not that bright, and they run with every single feeling that they have. And that could cause alot of trouble, not only for their own selves, but for us as a society as well.
And......honestly, if there wasn't a taboo about it, WHO would want to have sex with their parents in the house?? The people who have known you since birth, seen every embarrassing moment in your life happened. Just, ew, no.

[DateDude]

Interesting reply! And you're right, I remember reading about there being no children's toys and stuff either. It wasn't just about sex. I do know plenty of people who've had sex with their parents around though, myself included. Obviously not all loud and wild sex, but I hear about it a lot. In fact, it seems weird to have NOT done it with them in the house around here. And no, I don't live in hillbilly land. I live in a well-developed city in California that you'd probably know of if I mentioned it. Thanks for the response!

[johnfisher]

I'm glad that people don't speak or have sex openly, it's the way it should be. Humans are above animals, we are not animals.

[Yet another guy]

I don't know if animals discuss sex openly. Also, not being open about their sexuality doesn't make people be "above" those that are.

[johnfisher]

I don't know if animals discuss sex openly. Also, not being open about their sexuality doesn't make people be "above" those that are.

In my opinion it does.

How many parents out there would like their son/daughter being in a relationship with someone who disccusses sex openly? If you and the OP think it's ok to discuss these matters or even do it openly, then I guess you won't mind doing it in front of your parents or watching them do it?

Sex should always be private in my opinion. It's ashame that in the 21st century more and more people have such little shame they like discussing it openly.

[Yet another guy]

Actually, I can't talk about sex myself because I'm too shy and too embarrassed about anything I have to say. But I don't see anything worng with talking about it.

Being ok with talking about something openly doesn't entail being ok with doing it openly. I would just get more depressed if there was other people having sex next to me.

[the_robot]

Humans are above animals, we are not animals.

Animals are evolved animals. What you said is stupid.

[vashti]

DateDude: if that is an essay for your sociology class, I'd give you a C-. It lacks complexity, and doesn't address any alternate points of view... Also I am pretty sure I could easily disprove some of your "facts".

[johnfisher]

Animals are evolved animals. What you said is stupid.

Animals are evolved animals and then you say what I've written is stupid? Lol.

[doppelgaenger]

The USA (and probably other countries too. But I live here so I can only speak for the USA.) seems to have an issue when it comes to sex beliefs. Namely, they seem to be insane. What am I talking about, you ask? Well, think about this for a second. We shield sex from each other, we shield sex from "children" (that word/concept never existed before the 1800s, by the way, according to my college textbooks), we make our youth feel uncomfortable to have sex in the house when family is around, we make our youth feel like they shouldn't have sex at all, we outlaw sex that can be seen by any strangers, it's considered "bad" for anyone to see anyone else's "private parts," and etc...

There are religions and all kinds of other groups that talk about how "dirty" and "sinful" sex is. Some atheists also preach the same. Males and females are often criticized for being "dirty" when they have proven to be just following their natural psysiological response to have sex. However, SEX is how we were ALL created. ALL of us. You, me, everyone who replies to this thread, the pope, everyone in Arabia, China, Haiti, Guademala, Nigeria, Iraq, Australia, Norway, etc... EVERYONE was created by 2 people having sex. So step back and think for a moment... What kind of sense does that make!?!?!? It's like we just take a normal, fun thing and ruin it for ourselves by attaching weird identities to it.

Some people, likely the more ignorant ones, will view this question and say "this guy is just a radical," but what's funny is that I am questioning this due to what I am learning in college. College is considered to be a GREAT thing in society right now, but what's ironic is that college itself often brings criticism to society and makes you realize how baseless and at times silly some of our beliefs and traditions are. I am in a sociology class and I have an extremely well-written textbook with nearly 150 scholarly sources per chapter, and it is basically showing how most of our beliefs are not tried and true but relatively new. I'm sure many of you are aware that just 100-150 years ago, people were getting MARRIED at age 12-15 and there was often a HUGE age gap. Now, this same activity is considered a crime and "horribly wrong." In fact, as I am learning in my current class, the idea of children and adolescence is new and never even existed a few years back. In other words, there were no "children" to "protect" and/or "shield" from sex, cussing, and other "adult" behavior.

One last question... If these "norms" are so necessary, then why do they include sending me off to a college where I ironically learn about how silly they are and where they are challenged? What's up with us??? Lol...

Keep in mind that I'm not asking this to suggest that everyone should just go out and start having more sex... What I'm saying is WE ALREADY ALL DO. So why make it hard for ourselves for no reason??? Literally, NO reason... Look around you, how many teen pregnancies do you see? Why do people really believe this strange taboo somehow helps us? It's like a few people in society come up with some nonsense and everyone starts just following it. Then, 100 years later, you get arrested for not following it. It's kinda scary to think of it like this.

______________

[Take2]

DateDude, I think you are half right. Yes, puritanical influences on American culture and other social and cultural factors over time have evolved a society that is overly uptight about sexuality. That is probably not the healthiest approach to sexuality. It would be better if we adults were comfortable with our sexuality, willing to talk openly with our partners about it, willing to teach our children that sexuality is natural and healthy, willing to answer questions without shame. And in turn, our children would grow up much more comfortable with their bodies and their desires and their relationships. And therefore more empowered to avoid abuse and unhealthy connections.

However, it does not necessarily follow that sexual anarchy would be better. It is quite probable that even cavemen had sexual mores and taboos. Society sort of depends on there being some limits and regulation to sexual activity. At the very least, incest taboos and a law of consent protect society as a whole. And children naturally develop a sense of modesty as they grow up, such that a preschooler will run naked in public if allowed, a Kindergarten child will only be naked at home and a 4th grader will cover up around ANYONE. I think that not wanting to openly be sexual around parents and grandparents is a natural correlary to that. Wanting to have space from parents and keep sexual matters private is normal and healthy.

[doppelgaenger]

It kind of annoys me when people get out their soapbox and start giving everyone a lecture on what's wrong with society after taking some 101 course on blablabla. Stop spewing out your textbook-based opinions and read something that actually has literary value or significance.

Basically, there is a very good reason for having censorship and an age of consent. The main reason why it's not OK for young teens to go around fücking each other is because sex comes with some pretty serious responsibilities and at a young, tender age between 14-18, most kids are not capable of raising a kid on their own, because they are still KIDS!!! So, if all hell broke loose and everyone started fücking each other, society would lose its structure. Furthermore, rules are generally designed to protect the individual. Exposing a young child to sexuality will likely scar them for life. It is also undeniably wrong to allow an adolescent child be traumatized by such a thing. Yes, we may be animals, yes, sex may be natural, but (most) humans do not exist in the same context that wild animals do.

Everything else posted is simply an under-researched over-generalization.

[ashley89]

I actually think sex has become more acceptable and talked about in society than it has in the past... they start teaching about it in school at a younger age, encourage teens to use condoms, and more knowledge is out there about STDs and pregnancy, etc. Also it is seen more commonly on TV and in movies, and is widely all over the radio and internet. So it seems that more and more people are accepting that sex happens, and becoming more responsible on how to prevent pregnancy and STDs and how to go about it safely.