Is he cheating?

[dollface82]

OK, bizarre story.

Boyfriend of 6 months told me he was going away for the wknd for work.

No big deal, I travel for work too.

I was driving to a friend's place on the weekend - I see my BOYFRIEND walking with another girl, and her dog. Not holding hands of anything. I was shocked.

I confronted them calmly, said Hi, thought you were meant to be away.

He said - I was - I was given the sack from my job yesterday, very upset, flew back in this morning, just wanted to talk to a friend before I saw you. Nothing going on with her.

She then said hi - known him for a while.

I just said "Ok then" and left. He then sent me a text saying he's really stressed out at the moment, and needs a bit of breathing space.

I've checked up - he has lost his job which is devestating.

Why didn't he tell me? Two weeks ago he told me he loved me,wants a future toghether and looking at properties.

He's never mentioned her before, he knows my male friends.

What to think? Has he been cheating this whole time? Or is his story legit?

I havn't heard from him the past 3 days - his phone/email accounts deactivated as work has paid for them.

I love him, this is heartbreaking.

Guys? Be honest.

[Steve2004]

i've heard this story from somewhere. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, i wonder.

if he's not sharing things with you, things as big as losing his job, and then saying he's been away for the weekend, and then you see him with a girl...all these signs point to him maybe not wanting to be with you anymore. maybe he just doesn't want to live with the guilt of telling you that to your face.

[dollface82]

yeah I posted that in my gifts thread, but thought irrelevant.

its totally bizarre - the wknd before he cooked me dinner and we spent the whole weekend together, all was great.

maybe he's just met this girl recently? I dunno.

[DoesntMatter]

Your boyfriend is either lying, being deliberately misleading, or avoiding you and not being straightforward. Sounds like things are about to fall apart, sorry.

[dollface82]

its so weird.

but how am I meant to move on without proper closure?

[Steve2004]

its so weird.

but how am I meant to move on without proper closure?

i'm pretty sure you're not always going to get closure, and you're going to have to learn to move on without it. But if it's absolutely necessary that you have it, i'd just ask him to his face if he wants to be with you or not.

[dollface82]

then i feel like an idiot.

surely, if he loved me as he said he did he would just say its totally over?

I don't get it.

[Steve2004]

boys will be boys

[anachronistic]

Sorry honey, that really sounds creepy. I think that he may be cheating on you.

At first I percieved you as a greedy person, wanting only gifts, but now I see it as you being a more caring person, that was not given the respect/treatment you deserved... and I truly apologize for that.

I really feel bad having to be the one to tell you this, but if he truly loved you and cared about how you felt, he wouldn't have lied to you about being out of town. He wouldn't have left you hanging.

Don't put up with that stuff. Good for you for coming on here and asking for advice.

I don't think he deserves a notice of any kind, after the way he treated you. You should move on with your life, and find someone that deserves you.

Good luck.

[dollface82]

called his Mum - apparently he doesn't have a new phone yet, she hasn't heard from him since Monday, when he gave the work phone back, which is the last day I heard from him.



they speak all the time.


so maybe the story was true?

[Steve2004]

you've drained me dry of all my advice. you can't use your own judgment on this situation? YOU'RE the one that's been dating him. you dont know him well enough to read him...? my ex boyfriend could be lying about something so small and stupid like moving an article of clothing and i'd call bullshit.

[dollface82]

I'm starting to think he might actually be legit. The way I might found out is suggest we all go for drinks (with that girlfriend) once he feels up to it and have a laugh about the situation?

now I'm thinkign he might be annoyed at me for jumping to conclusions.

[anachronistic]

I'm starting to think he might actually be legit. The way I might found out is suggest we all go for drinks (with that girlfriend) once he feels up to it and have a laugh about the situation?

now I'm thinkign he might be annoyed at me for jumping to conclusions.

Didn't he lie to you about going out of town?

[Steve2004]

Didn't he lie to you about going out of town?

YES. exactly. you're not jumping to conclusions. you're his girlfriend and it seems like the normal thing for him to do would have been to contact you right when he got back into town...if his story WERE to be true. boys are such idiots.

[anachronistic]

boys are such idiots.

HEY now, don't become an inobservant idiot.