Am I over reacting?

[bb4e93]

Hey guys, I'm new here. I've been trying to figure this out for myself for about a month now and it doesn't seem to work. I've been with my girlfriend for 11 months now. She lives in Florida and I live in Connecticut. We spent all last summer together. But this summer we can't cause I moved away. Anyways. She's had this best friend for about 11 years long before me and her even met. Her best friend lives in South Carolina. I've always hated this friend of hers. And she understands that. Her friend flirts with her all the time. Her friend calls me ugly, fat, and stupid. Her friend always trys to break us up. And her friend has even had sex dreams about her. My girlfriend is supposed to be going up to visit her in like 1 day. she's supposed to be there for three weeks. She knows how I feel about it and knows it'll crush me if she goes. I just need to know if I'm overreacting or if I have the right to feel this way. Can anybody help me? Please?

[RdHrshyKss]

if you have a reason to doubt your girlfriend and not trust her with this friend, then you aren't overreacting. if this friend of hers has tried breaking you up over and over and you guys are still together, then i would say that this friend of hers doesn't have so much of an influence on her and you shouldn't worry too much. 11 months isn't that long though and i'm not sure you could completely know a person inside and out and trust them 100% in that type of situation. 3 weeks is a pretty long time...how come she is visiting for so long? she should be designating that kinda time to be with you. but honestly, there is not much else you can do. tell your girlfriend how you feel, and that it would make you feel better if she would keep in touch with you often while she's there.

connecticut to florida is a pretty hefty distance. will you guys be moving closer to each other anytime soon? if not, the stress from the distance might have a toll on her and bad things could happen. why is she friends with someone who is outright mean to you? if a friend of mine was talking shit about my boyfriend and was trying to sabotage my relationship, i'd no longer consider that person a friend...

[virtuenote]

Practically nothing you can do unless you know for sure that your girlfriend loves you enough so that you can ask her to stop befriending with her. She is her best friend for more than 11 yrs. If you push her too much, she may choose to stop seeing you instead.

But what bothers me more is her calling you ugly, fat and stupid. Looks like jealousy to me. Added by her habit of flirting her as well as her sex dream about your gf, I wonder if she is straight or not.

The best thing you can do is, maybe, try to stop her plan to visit her friend (for 3 weeks, wow, that's a long time!), by asking her to spend the time together with you instead with her. Make a plan for that. Lead her gently but don't push her. And look how she reacts. If she loves you, she will prefer to go with you, or at least, shorten her visit in order to spend more time with you.

[bb4e93]

Thanks. And she would spend the time with me instead if we were aloud to see each other. But like I said. We live about 1000 miles away from each other. So it's near impossible. And that's why she's going to see her friend instead. I should say "friend" because her friend always puts her down. And her friend isn't straight. She's bi. But thanks for the help. I'll know by tonight weather she is going or not..

[bb4e93]

Oh. And I've made a typo. We've been together for 13 months. Not 11 lol.

[RdHrshyKss]

if her friend puts her down all the time, why would she be going to see her for 3 weeks? that's a really long time to spend with someone that bullies you around...

why couldn't she come visit you? you could probably find a flight that isn't too expensive. i just found a flight in mid july from miami to bradley international for $280 round trip. i'd spend that kinda money to visit my bf during the summer if i lived that far away, you guys could split it $160 per person, that's not even half a paycheck, just sayin...

[bb4e93]

It's my mom that wont let us see each other. My girlfriend already said she'd come see me instead if she could. But since she cant, seeing her friend is the next best thing. And she doesn't care if her friend puts her down. She defended her fried by saying "she was just in a bad mood".

[hurt_confuzd]

You can let the friend have sex with your girlfriend, on the condition that she has sex with you at the same time. I really don't understand how you weren't able to reach this conclusion on your own.

[bb4e93]

Uh her friend is fat and ugly. She looks like she's incest. Like no joke. I'd rather cut off both arms and legs then even look at her.

[the ice man]

This is not the question that if you do not exaggerate the situation will not change and the relationship you need to know to move along in a relationship as if there were no problems. That if you move them to other damage and inevitable future. So refreshing relationship is like old wine, new at the same time