Broken Heart caused by Afghanistan

[blondechar]

My man went to Afghanistan back in july, we were so so happy before he left, I headed of for my first year at university and moved away from home, during his deployment we were happy and content and looked towards the future, we planned to buy a house together upon his return and we looked at engagement rings, towards the end of the deployment he became distant and stopped talking about the future... before he returned home he told me things have changed and we are both different people now, I brushed it off and thought he was being silly and was thinking about things too much, upon his return a week later he finished the relationship, I was heart broken, we left it for a week of no contact and we started talking again. On NYE he admitted he loved me and wants to try and sort things out. We spent a few days together and felt like we were back together, he took me back to uni the next day and told me its not what he wants and it would be too easy to fall back to the way we were. We didn't speak for a week again and chatted and flirted last night, but he said were not right together, I said you only think that because we have been without each other for a long while and he said maybe, time will tell. So many people are telling me to walk away but I don't feel this is the right time. Can anybody offer support, words of encouragement or a success story? I still believe I will marry this man and you hear so many stories of wedded couples who have had break ups but ended up down the aisle. Help my poor poor heart? xxx

[Rowen]

I'm sorry; wrong number.

You need to drop him like a hot tea kettle because this guy doesn't know what he wants, and he needs to sort out his shit. Seriously, who in their right mind tells you they're in love with you and a week later says you're not right together? No one, that's who because the ones who have their shit sorted out are either spending the rest of their lives with the ones they love or leaving the past where it remains.

OP, you need to tell him he needs to be absolutely sure of his feelings if he EVER wants another chance with you EVER. You need to be brave and tell him if he's going to ever have a chance, he needs to sort out himself long and hard and actually SHOW YOU that he's not going to be a complete pussy about the relationship. Tell him you're done waiting around and having such heartache and if he wants you, he can try to chase you because you're done trying to chase him.

And in the meantime, I want you to move on and find your own inner strength and confidence. Do the things that make you happy. Don't focus on him; focus on your friends. And for that matter, don't wait around on him to come back because it's not guaranteed he will. Focus on moving on, and if some other guy comes along who could treat you right, give him a chance. This way, regardless of whether or not he takes a shit or gets off the pot, you'll be happy and won't be wasting your life cradling a cell phone in your hands hoping he'll call or write. No, OP, you're BETTER than that and you deserve a MAN who won't pussy foot around a relationship. Because you found a little scared BOY who doesn't know his heart from his ass.

There, sorry to be blunt, but you need some cold hard truth.

[seecrithiding]

My brother was deployed often, and came home with PTSD. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

If you go to maketheconnection . net there is some information on PTSD and the effects it can have on relationships.
I think you should check it out, if you haven't already.

Hang in there.