I'm a girl and I think I might be in love with my girlfriend

[Iona]

I have a problem which i hope to find an answer to.

I'm 23 , and I have a friend who is a few years older than I am. Our friendship is very simple and innocent, but I am starting to believe that I am in Love with her.

I have been in and out of relationships with guys, but nothing serious. For the past two years, I have been away from home studying college in a different country. So is Cara. Because of this, we spend alot of time doing things together, sometimes with a larger group of friends, sometimes alone. Eversince we started being close friends, I have always felt something for her. If we don't talk for a few days, it is unbearable and I will miss her so much. I am not sure of her feelings for me, I am afraid to ask. She takes care of me like a little sister, and she is very concerned about my happenings in life. The feeling I have for Cara is nothing like the ones I had in my "not so serious" relationships. It is more intense. Much happier, and much more painful.

I am now back home, with my parents and friends, after 3 years of not seeing them. Unlike most students like myself, who will miss home badly and be happy to be back, I am very miserable. I miss Cara badly and I cry myself to sleep everynight.

I dare not confide to anyone, that's why I am writting in this forum. I don't want to be honest to Cara about my feelings, because I am just too afraid to ruined everything. Neither do I want to go down the road of getting into a relationship with a girl.

I do not want to be this way. I want to love my family like before, but the sadness of parting with Cara just overtakes that. Could anyone help me?

[pinkpuca84]

i suggest u wait for a while...dont act anything just yet. give it another like...a month or longer. in the mean while, keep in touch with her, using MSN or emails, or sms. no phone. after sufficient time, then u see what happens, if u still feel the same way about her then i suggest u talk to her exactly how u feel. she might or might not feel the same way. either way, at least u get it out of ur chest. my roomate is like u too. so u are not alone all the best...

[xd3vilx]

wad i suggest is to give urself another few months longer and see wad turn up next...another reason why you might have such reaction might be you missin the time you guys spend in college...if time don't cure, than i suggest you lookin up a psychologists...you should continue living on ur normal life and don't think too much, have a good day and hope my advice would help you...

[confused01]

i think, from my ponit of view, it's not love, because she was taking care of you, and carying about you, all true friends do that, she is your true friend, best friend, don't ruin that buy saying i love you, of course when you guys where hanging out you liked her, and you'll miss her because she is not there or so, because she was the only one for you there and same for you, it doesn't mean you should love her. i live in a different country too i'm feeling so sad to leave by the end of this year, i'm still not sure if i'm ready to leave, but i go see my parents every 6moths or something. i try to avoid having to rely on someone in here so i won't end up in your situation!!! just give yourself at least 6months to get back to your normal track(to adapt yourself to your friends and country again), try to do the same activities you used to do with her with other friends, by the time you'll see if it's love as you says or just true friendship. one other think try to avoid thinking of her when you are with your friends or compare her to the others, because at the time you both were lonely, no family no friends, of course your friendship was more closer.
i know 6months it's a long time but it should be enough to tell you what's in your heart and hers too.
good luck

[King Zarathu]

Perhaps yes, perhaps no. Is this your first time with homosexual feelings for another person?

Typically this results in serious emotional drama. Just be careful, don't do anything stupid.

[clynn]

Hmmm......you might want to start thinking first about your sexual preferences.

And, you may not want to lose a friend over this, if indeed she isn't gay and your feelings aren't returned. If that is the case, you might be best to start by just opening up to her that you don't like boys. And that you've wondered whether or not you like girls.......