help please. getting him back + long distance

[wendy_2008]

hi guys,

me and the ex broke up 4 months ago after 9 months of long distance relationship. we visited each other 3 times, one week each time, 24-7 side by side. we had plans. to see each other every couple months, i'd be moving over to end the distance and then marriage. but it just fell apart..

we still talk to each other either on the phone or online. i've made it petty clear i want us to work. but he says he's not comfortable being in a relationship with me cause i walked out on him many times. he's lost faith.

my problem is i can't seem to break this cycle we're in. One day we seem ok, he starts to call me babe and shows concern, i thought we're on the right track and then i start to demand,act like we're a couple and then he turns defensive and turns cold instantly the next day. it's been repeating. i'm just freaking out. the more he ignores me, the more i wanna get him to talk.. and it only drives him further. please can anyone give any suggestions?

[Raze]

It doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship to me. LDR's SUCK!

[jt787]

yeah LDR's do suck. Im in one right now and things turned very sour. I guess the only thing you can do is reassure him you'll never walk out on him, and if he's not reassured enough then go out of your way and go see him.

[mixndash]

I can see where you are coming from. I am currently in a long distance relationship that has been going on for a little over 7 months. My gf has quit on me a few times now...over time it just takes it's toll. Right now I'm debating breaking up with her because of this. It just has me paranoid and unhappy. The best advice I can give you is to be sweet to him. Do things that remind him of the good times you two have once shared together. Don't settle for arguing over little things. Show him your serious and are willing to make a change and hopefully he will come back around.

[wendy_2008]

guys, nothing's difficult unless you want it to be. i mean Faith is what we should have while engaging in a LDR right. (now i feel like a hypocrite haha. ) do you guys have plans in the long run?

i think one trick to keep a LDR going is when one persons feels tired. the other should be the strong one. probs can be solved if you stick to it.

mindmixer, I can understand why your gf wanted to quit ..us women are emotional and insecure by default. when i acted that way, my ex would constantly assure me it's gonna be okay. that boosted my faith . i dont know if you agree.. "men proact, women react" once she feels the faith you have in your love, she'll respond.

thanks for your suggestions.. i did offer to see him.. but he says he doesnt want me to. i say i know we're right for each other. he says he knows we're not. but i was only a week ago he called me his gf again.... maybe he's tired of me talking bout us every day.

one question. do you exercise bf duties only when you're officially committed to someone? for me, i care bout him, i still perform gf duties. i just feel commitments come from your feelings for that person, make sense?

[Raze]

You are a first class fool. Take that anyway you like.