Says she's attracted to me, the sex is great, but she's not in love with me :(

[NorthernGuy]

I've found a girl who seemed really into me, and we've been seeing each other almost 5 months now. As we live about 70 miles apart, we've been spending the weekends at each others' houses whenever we can.

A few weeks ago, and this may have been my mistake, I said I was in love with her, when we were in bed. Things have been ok since then, but she called tonight, and told me that she likes me, and the sex is great, but she's not in love with me, and just thought it was fair to let me know.

I was shocked, but probed a bit, to find out what that meant. She said she'd like to continue seeing me, in the hope something develops, and has no intention of dating anyone else. Neither have I, if I can make this work. We've been excusive for a while, and think of ourselves as boyfriend and girlfriend.

She's getting a last minute visit this weekend, from a friend who's backpacking. I could tell she was hinting at us not seeing each other this weekend, so I said it was ok, as I had other things to do.

So, I'm going to stay next Thursday and Friday, and I don't really know where to take things from here. I like her, and if I'm honest, think she has (or should that be 'had'?) good long-term potential.

I suppose what I'm wondering is that if I've managed to attract and keep her this long, is anything I can do to make it work? How do we go from attraction, and great sex, to her being in love with me?

[Ariadne]

Well if she didn't run for the hills when you said you loved her then I think there's still potential for this relationship. Seems like she's open to the idea of being in love with you, but it just takes longer for some people. Don't give up yet. Who knows, she might already be in love with you but still has her guard up for some reason.

[NorthernGuy]

Thanks. In your experience, can love be helped along? For me, I don't think it's something that just happens.

I'm just wondering if there's anything I can do to make it more likely that she will fall in love with me - or at the very least, I want to make sure I'm not doing anything that's getting in the way.

[Ariadne]

No it seems like she already likes you the way you are. I wouldn't try too hard to change your behavior because that might make her feel pressured to feel more than she does. Not very romantic. Just keep being there for her and show her with your actions that you understand where she's coming from and still care about her.

[NorthernGuy]

Thanks, I'll have to wait until Thursday to see how it goes. Texted her this morning, but got no reply, so I'm just going to give her some space for now.