We first wrote and chatted w each other via gmail about 14 months ago. My mom and his dad (uncle M as I call his dad) are gud friends and in uncle M’s trip visiting our home-country at that time, uncle M was so kind offering me English tutorial from his eldest son. They migrated and settled in the US,have been living in Chicago for almost 20 years. After coming back the US, Uncle M gave his son the note w my email address on that and he started to write to me. We used to spend time to write a lot and most of the time, he’s kind of correcting my paper- English assigments. In about 3 months I kept having him as my big help in English and as an awesome online friend as well coz he‘s always a patient-listener to my freaking out. I learnt a lot from him. I liked his personalities and since I don’t have any brother, I somehow loved to see him as my big brother. Indeed, in my mind, he’s much more than just an online friend and day by day, I found myself impatiently waiting for his electronic reply. However, until I met another guy and felt in love w him, cyber-angel became too much unreal for my life and we gradually stopped writing to each other. My relationship with that guy didn’t last long. It left me a big crack on my heart and I was thought it could never been mended. I was vulnerable to believing in lies and after that, I started to stay away from all men.
I’ve just moved here in the US nearly 2 months for studying. One day, I saw a green light of his name on Gmail chat-box. I said “hi” and waited. I don’t know how to explain how much delighted I felt when He said “hi” in reply. Through his dad, he knew that I’m here in CA. We were just kind of talking generally about our today life, as usual long-time-no -see friends. He’s still a good and helpful guy caring about my English and watching its improvement, with no condition. Ironically, I am wishing it were a condition. Something like he wanted to catch my attention and let me see his good. But I am taking too much He are friendly but very careful in words…never let me have a chance to mix up his good attitudes w something else. But I am myself always going too far. I didn’t expect an online friend like him whom I’ve never met in real life can take up a lot of my thought and goes into my dream. His coming back help me totally delete my ex’s image out of my mind.
I used to think of letting him know about my affection on him but I was less confident to do. Basically, i’m an timid and shy girl. I’ve never been good at actively starting a relationship as well as approaching the guy that I like, and sometimes I’m so scared of ruining our friendship by unfolding my true feeling with him. I don’t know what to do, but reluctantly keep myself waiting for him desperately. And that’s my story that has never been told.