how to deal with a possessive girl HELP PLZ

[DMan]

I love my girl friend very truly and sincerely and she does the same to me. But she is very possessive about me. She doesn't allow me to talk or do anything for my mother, family members or hang out my friends when i want too. She always wants me to talk to her through phone always wants me to be with her. i even asked her one day what would be sufficient amount of time on the phone with me, she replied all day. its horrible because she would never let me breath during the day, every single day has to be a conversation about something and when i decide i want to leave she argues with me. we talked on the phone for 8 hours straight and i told her i needed a break and she flipped, Im sick and tired of the arguing and drama that would last for almost 2 days.. she has access to my Myspace and aim accounts, she even deleted girls of my friends list b.c she didn't like them. i cant even hang out with my friends without her texting me and expecting a conversation on text, if i have to do something for my family members she flip's out sometimes to the point where she cry's. she has my work schedule written out, and my school schedule. she knows where iam and what im doing. when im not doing that she text's me and ask "where are u?" i cant even have a decent dinner with my family w.o her texting me constantly even though i told her ill talk to her later, and if i dont text back she argues with me because i don't text back and im supposedly ignoring her. i cant even have a social life with anyone besides at school and work b.c she's not around but whenever im free its all on her, i never hang out with my friends anymore b.c all my time is spent on her... if i ever tell her i need space she gets offended to the maxxx


that's basically the whole picture, what should i do?

[vashti]

Wow. She's even cutting you off from your family? She sounds mentally ill. (really.) this is extremely abnormal behavior. Why have you not drawn any boundaries before now?

[DMan]

i have tried to draw boundaries with her and she just gets really upset, as if i did the wrongest thing in the book at most emotional.. she even says im picking my family over her and shes suppose to be #1 etc.

[Aeradalia]

There are a few things you can do here:

1. Try to see if she'll undergo counseling (not likely)
2. Try to stand up for yourself every single second you are are with her (almost impossible to do)
3. Leave her and let her figure this all out on her own (because nobody can 'fix' her except her)

This woman is beyond insecurities... this could escalate to violence (weapons.. etc)... not much different than scenarios involving abusive bf's.

I would suggest you not walk away from this relationship... I would suggest you run... run as fast as you can.

[DMan]

well her ex was abusive and she had a REALLY rough life growing up. idk whats the right thing to do, i wanna be there for her and not abandon her but she;s too complicated and possessive. w,e happens im not gonna go back in a relationship for a while too much work lol

[Aeradalia]

well her ex was abusive and she had a REALLY rough life growing up. idk whats the right thing to do, i wanna be there for her and not abandon her but she;s too complicated and possessive. w,e happens im not gonna go back in a relationship for a while too much work lol

So... abusing you is excusable because she was abused? What if her ex was abused too? And the one that abused him was abused as well? Do you see how that logic is flawed?

She's a big girl.. she can make her own decisions... and be held accountable for her actions.

Don't go back in a while.. don't go back at all... it's time to move on... time to take into consideration your own needs and wants.

[vashti]

How long have you been going out with her?

[Junket]

Yeah dude, f*ck her, don't let her turn you into her little bitch.

[Cbrider]

Yeah dude, f*ck her, don't let her turn you into her little bitch.

Been here, done this. You wont change anything standing up for yourself. My ex got irritated that I was close to my mom and actually got all huffy, puffy when my mom would call my cell when she was with me.

Kick her ass to the curb and hope she hits it hard.

[lovesjoyajm]

I honestly, truly can't understand how on earth anyone could get upset over a guy talking to his MOM. Yeah, sure, if he's a mommy's boy at 25 and can't go out because he's got a date with his mother, that's one thing, but when did it become such a terrible thing for a guy to talk to his mom???

[DMan]

thanks for your help guys i really appreciate your inputs im 19 btw and we've been going going out for 6 months now.

[DMan]

the thing is she doesnt want my mother interrupting our conversations at all or else she gets mad and says i always pick my mother over her and its soo stupid sometimes im just like whatever

[misombra]

how do you deal with her? you dump her.

[DMan]

easier said then done haha

[DMan]

anymore advice?