should i be concerned??

[purplerose86]

Hello, at the moment i'm driving myself loopy and i need mens advice on this one.

Last saturday i went out with my boyfriend to his works party when we were about to leave one of his work collegues came over to say goodbye and then called me by another womans name and then apoligised and told me its one of my boyfriends work friends personally they both looked uncomfortable at that moment but i can understand it from her point of view as it can be awkward when you call someone the wrong name.
However he's never even mentioned this woman before and he's mentioned all his other workmates to me hundreds of times when he tells me about his day.

Then suddenly over the last couple of days he's mentioned her which i find odd as he's never bothered to talk about her before.
Oh and btw this woman wasnt at the party so it seems odd his workmate came out with it. I mean i would have understood if she'd called me by his ex's name.

I need a male opinion should this concern me or should i just forget it? I just dont understand why he wouldnt mention her but happily chats about everyone else.

[Only-virgins]

I like your detective skills lol. The entire uncomfortable behavior by him and her when they said the wrong name maybe should worry you a bit.

[meh]

Not much we can really advise you here, the situation could be either way. Maybe it's just someone he's not told you about because there was nothing to tell about the person.

However, you say his colleague called you by the name of another one his colleagues? How could he have mistaken you for someone he works with?

Basically, I'd ask your boyfriend, but if he's intent on lying, you may have to use other means to find out the truth... preferably without crossing into "stalking psychotic girlfriend" territory.

[purplerose86]

However, you say his colleague called you by the name of another one his colleagues? How could he have mistaken you for someone he works with?

see this is the part i dont understand i would understand if they'd been there then i would just assume they'd been chatting and she was on there mind but as she wasnt it seemed very random to bring her up.

As i said if she'd have called me by his ex girlfriends name i would have felt uncomfortable but understood it as he was with her for a very long time and went to lots of his work parties. Its just the fact he's never mentioned her and then suddenly is talking about her.

[meh]

Then, yes, you should be concerned

[vashti]

Do you have any other reason to distrust him?

[Gigabitch]

Did you read Bridget Jones, The Edge of Reason?

There's something in that book called "mentionitis", which is when someone brings up a person in conversation even though she has no business in it.

For example, if I say, "Hey Frasbee, what did you eat for breakfast?" and he says, "A blueberry smoothie. You know who likes blueberries? Vashti."

That would be mentionitis. It would lead me to believe that Frasbee has Vashti on the brain.

IMO, this is a red flag. It may be a small one, like the size of a toothpic, but it's a flag nonetheless. It sounds to me like your bf realized he'd been keeping this woman's existence a secret and he's trying to casually mention her, like you'll forget that she's new.

Looks like he thinks you're as dumb as he is.

[anachronistic]

"Curiosity killed the cat."

- Steven Wright

[Junket]

For example, if I say, "Hey Frasbee, what did you eat for breakfast?" and he says, "A blueberry smoothie. You know who likes blueberries? Vashti."

That would be mentionitis. It would lead me to believe that Frasbee has Vashti on the brain.

That's funny because OV was just sayin' Gribble had said somethin' about that...

[purplerose86]

Do you have any other reason to distrust him?

Honestly no, its just i dont understand why he wouldnt mention her before and looked uncomfortable when she was mentioned.
Its like gigabitch said she was obviously on his workmates mind and i guess it was the way she said "goodbye *steve* and *louise*" and then realised and apoligised what she'd said and then looked at him and said its someone he works with and he just nodded.

Something just didnt sit right with me about it at all.

I mean i understand he's had a life before me and i've got people from my past too . Its just the fact he didnt mention her and then suddenly is like oops ok better make this woman seem just like everyone else so she doesnt question it.

I wish i'd just asked him at the time stupid me

[meh]

Ask him now.

Or give me his number and I'll ask him.

[thefallenheart]

maybe he diddent mention her because he thought you would act all jelouse abd over react.

maybe he mentions her now because he knows you know so there is no need to be secret.

its nice to have friends you can tell your love about.