Will I ever have a girlfriend?

[Alex23]

I'm 18 now and I've never had any sort of romance or relationship. High school is over and it seems like everyone but me has had at least a relationship or two. Everywhere I go, my male and female friends are holding hands and making out and spending time with each other, while I'm sitting at home watching movies, lonely and miserable.

It's not that I don't like any girls, I've liked several in the past few years, and I have asked them out, only to be rejected. Also, one or two girls have expressed interest in me, but I didn't feel it was right so I decided to just stay friends with them.

I'm not sure how I feel about my looks, some people have told me I'm good-looking... and I'm not sure how I feel about my personality, but I seem to get along with most people. Yeah, yeah, everyone says "don't worry, the right girl will come", "it will happen when you least expect it", but that's such bullshit, they're just saying it to make you feel good. I want the real truth, not some idealized fantasy world.

It feels like no matter what I do, every girl I like will just find something wrong with me, and find some excuse not to go out with me. I've been hurt too many times, watching the girl of my dreams walk away and start dating my best friend instead. I look at him, and think "what does he have that I don't?". "Why is it that he achieve happiness while I can't?". What is it that is so fundamentally wrong about me that I am unable to do what so many people do without even trying? I just don't get it.

Sorry about the rant, but this is in the back of my head every single day, when I wake up and when I go to bed. I want nothing more than to find someone to spend my life with, and if I don't... I probably won't be able to survive. =/

[Ashbee]

for a start you dont sound very confident... do you even like yourself? If not thats where you need to start. There is nothing wrong with anyone its just the way you come across to other people. I bet you never told the girl thats with your best friend that you even liked her so how would she know?

[Yggdrasil]

Yeah you will, once you stop wanting so hard.

Girls don't like needy guys, they also don't fall for nice guys.

Seriously.

I have a post somewhere in this forum on that.

[Ashbee]

Yeah you will, once you stop wanting so hard.

Girls don't like needy guys, they also don't fall for nice guys.

Seriously.

I have a post somewhere in this forum on that.

very true!

[Doc Durian]

I'm 18 now and I've never had any sort of romance or relationship. High school is over and it seems like everyone but me has had at least a relationship or two. Everywhere I go, my male and female friends are holding hands and making out and spending time with each other, while I'm sitting at home watching movies, lonely and miserable.

It's not that I don't like any girls, I've liked several in the past few years, and I have asked them out, only to be rejected. Also, one or two girls have expressed interest in me, but I didn't feel it was right so I decided to just stay friends with them.

I'm not sure how I feel about my looks, some people have told me I'm good-looking... and I'm not sure how I feel about my personality, but I seem to get along with most people. Yeah, yeah, everyone says "don't worry, the right girl will come", "it will happen when you least expect it", but that's such bullshit, they're just saying it to make you feel good. I want the real truth, not some idealized fantasy world.

It feels like no matter what I do, every girl I like will just find something wrong with me, and find some excuse not to go out with me. I've been hurt too many times, watching the girl of my dreams walk away and start dating my best friend instead. I look at him, and think "what does he have that I don't?". "Why is it that he achieve happiness while I can't?". What is it that is so fundamentally wrong about me that I am unable to do what so many people do without even trying? I just don't get it.

Sorry about the rant, but this is in the back of my head every single day, when I wake up and when I go to bed. I want nothing more than to find someone to spend my life with, and if I don't... I probably won't be able to survive. =/

You need to kill the drama switch, mate.

Your heavy thoughts and all.

Catwalk models and pseudo teenage rock stars don't really even begin to settle down until their forties, if they're lucky.

So in any given moment in time, you get a girlfriend, or you don't.

Easy come, easy go.

That'll change when you've let most of them go, but can't with just one.

THEN you can turn back on the drama switch (half power, mind you)

Until then, get out there... have a good time.

And remember... 3 billion women in this world... Only 60 seconds in a minute... get into conversations with women... try some come on lines.

Don't tolerate overzealous feminists or megalomaniacal bitches... (often the same delusion)

Wear a condom, always.

Never sleep with your sister's or mother's best friends.

Take control (within fair boundaries). Women will point blank disagree with the concept, as their lashes biologically bat like hummingbirds.

Don't be afraid to do a nudey run past the traditional 2-4 block night scamper. Try it in the day time, balaclava style (anti-police line up, etc). It frees the mind, and loses social inhibitions quite well indeed... trust me.

[vashti]

It's not that I don't like any girls, I've liked several in the past few years, and I have asked them out, only to be rejected. Also, one or two girls have expressed interest in me, but I didn't feel it was right so I decided to just stay friends with them.

"it will happen when you least expect it", but that's such bullshit, they're just saying it to make you feel good. I want the real truth, not some idealized fantasy world.

It IS bullshit that it will happen when you least expect it if you are spending your time at home watching movies and feeling sorry for yourself. You need to stop waiting for the girl of your dreams to magically fall into your lap, and start asking out girls in large numbers. Dating is a "numbers game". If you ask enough girls out, one will eventually say yes. The trick is not to become overly-invested during this time, because most girls WILL say no. Expect it. You shouldn't hope to date them all - you should merely be looking for the one who will accept your invitation.

Also, I don't think you should be focused on finding the girl you will spend your life with - that is too sappy for girls your age. You should be looking in to showing them a good time, and allowing deeper feelings to emerge in a more organic (natural) way with the right one.

[NeoSeminole]

OP, look up my previous posts about building attraction with girls.

[Petit Papillon]

Well so my brother can ask this question for sure ,not You.
He's 26yo , never had a gf, not even while being a child and... he's on the best way to be 40 yo virgin. Just like in this movie
Well he's not a gay, he has interrest in girl,but always in wrong ones.
He's very intelligent, graduated university last year(construction engineering) , has a good job.
Now his wrong sides: overreacting,weirdo - i can tell, I'm his sister , computer and matematic geek,tho he listens a lot of house music etc.
Can somebody help HIM? I have four siblings, all beside him are more or less happy with their SO. He never had one.
Help him ;P

[Alex23]

Thanks for the replies, I guess I just need to work on myself more instead of blaming others.