The most F'ed up situation EVER!!!!!!

[H0ney]

Hi all,

My first time posting here. I will try to make a long story short.

I am in my early 20's, been dating my bf (who's mid 20's) for 3 years now. At first I was sooo in love with him, would literally never lie or do anything behind his back in fear of losing him, completely head over heels in love, we were best friends. Then somewhere along the line things slowly changed and I lost a lot of respect for him, was disgusted by him (he was lazy and would lie about important things, etc).

So, I broke up with him and we had little to no contact for about 4-5 months. During that time he did a complete 180 and changed his ways. He was miserable without me. I, on the other hand, enjoyed being single for the first time in my life (maybe a little too much).

Eventually, I missed him and we got back together (Its been about 2 months now) and things have been very different. We're still best buds but there is No spark, No sex, etc


MY PROBLEM:

During our time apart, I met a man twice my age who does live entertainment/comedy at local bars. I ended up going home with him one night (I didn't know how old he was at the time), and, I honestly thought it would be a one night stand but it turned into more.

When I got back together with my boyfriend I tried stopping it, but for whatever reason I just can't keep myself away from this other man. We have been secretly seeing each other for the past 4 months. I have a huge crush on him and think of him all the time. He also has a girlfriend which I know is terrible. I never thought in a million years I would be in this predicament.

I try telling myself it's useless because he is over 40- married and divorced twice with 4 children (a son my age!!) and I know we really have nothing much in common, but he even said at first he thought it was just sex but he is starting to like me the more we get to know each other. I'm scared because the longer this goes on the more complicated it is going to get but we both want each other so bad!

I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!! I am such a bad person!

[Riyko]

First thing you should do is break up with your boyfriend because you don't love him or feel anything for him (sexual and non sexual) because by staying with him your lying to him and the longer you wait the more it's going to hurt him.

I think you should take a step back and really look at the situation and assess what is going on and what you want especially if you want a long term relationship with this guy.

What is it about this guy that you really like? Could you find those same qualities in a guy around the same age as you?

[damn2008]

Agree with Riyko...first thing is first, dump your boyfriend. It's obvious the love is gone and you need to be respectful to him and yourself by splitting up while you try to figure YOURSELF out.

The other guy is probably in the SAME predicament as you. He's looking for something fresh and new but can't let go of what he's got. Plus he's got kids and divorced TWICE...doesn't that spell that something is perhaps wrong with him?

I guess it depends whether you want some fun...or you want something more.

[Graham Berkeley]

Sounds to me the older guy knows how to get a stupid young girl wrapped around his finger. I feel sorry for your stupid boyfriend but something tells me if he can't figure out there is another guy then he is stupid too.

[Raze]

Are we going to see him on "How to Catch a Predator"?

[Mish]

Drop the unavailable married man and the bf that you don't have a spark with and find someone more compatible

[CocoChanel]

I don't understand why women come on here asking these type of questions.
When you already know what to do!
I want to know what do you think you should do and when you typed this post what type of responses were you expecting to get.

[girl68]

Stupid statement.. "I don't know what to do?"

What would you say to your stupid girl friend if she was screwing an old fart, and stringing her poor boyfriend along? You would tell her to dump both of them. There lies your own answer. Practice what you would preach little miss naive.

Oh to add: yes, you are a bad person- especially since it continues for so long.