Well I'm Just Trying to Get Another Perspective

[JustAQuestion1]

I'll be honest I'm not quite sure how the male brain works. I don't have a very good track record including cheaters and crazies. I have a relatively new boyfriend (about 3 months). He's in the armed forces. He's made it very clear to me that he has been hurt before and he has trust issues (i.e. girls cheated on him overseas). I've told him the same because its true(I'm in the service too, although a different one). I want this to be a long term thing, and I hope he does too but I can't read him. He says stuff regarding our future like "one day we should have horses". In another conversation he says things like "if you meet my dad". There has been many occurrences of "over the summer we should do this" and then later him saying "if" again. I just can't tell what he wants out of this. Did I mention its long distance for two more months then he's done with the service?

[surfhb]

deleted.....

[Mongoose]

It sounds like he'd be interested in long term too, but since you're only 3 months in, he's not 100% sure how things are going to turn out or doesn't want to seem like he's got your whole relationship planned out in his mind. He's just taking things as they come and hoping they turn out well I think.

[IncognitoSir]

Well, 2 people with trust issues although you sound like you'r pretty insecure to boot! He's with you, you're reading waaaaay too much into it. If he;s in the service there's nothing you can do but wait on him. the LDR will NEVER be a comfortable situation for either of you. I suggest you get busy.....REAL busy until he gets back. By no means ignore him, but keep your mind from wondering into "analyzation mode". Go buy a puppy, hit the gym, learn a new language, get your mind of irrational and gain perspective on the realistic truth which is you have 2 more months before the relationship can grow and flourish the way it was meant to.

[JustAQuestion1]

I probably am reading too much into it. I've had some pretty messed up relationships and yes I will admit to being very insecure. After 3 cheaters, a guy who just up and disappears for 2 months and then appears again and acts like everything's normal, and a guy who hit me (don't worry just once i calmly broke it off a couple days later) I think about anyone would over analyze. I think only time and a good guy can fix that. I'll try the staying busy thing and just see where it goes. Thanks.

[reeba]

Since both of you were the ones being cheated on, I would say that makes both of even more trustworthy. People have a tendency to not do as done to them.

The military lifestyle basically enables cheaters. I see plenty of this crap on the civilian side.... but I think the overly male environment, travel and the risk taking type of person the military often attracts (although it also attracts the very conservative), makes the environment where cheaters propsper.

So what are his plans when he gets out of the military? He has to know if you stay in, he will have to follow when you get PCSed. That would be more of a concern than the trust issue.