I don't understand.

[kyle2892]

Okay, so I've been dating this girl for 3 months. Everything going beautifully until about the last couple of weeks. Nothing different has happen, no fight or anything. The last time we hung out everything was awesome, just like it always is. But these past couple weeks she keeps blowing me off for her best friend(A). I completely respect her spending time with A, and thats not the problem. Her and I will make plans, and then at a drop of the hat if A wants to hang out I get ditched and get the one thing I was looking forward to all day taken away. Its even got to the point where she will avoid making plans with me just in case A wants to hang out. And its not like I smother her or anything like that, I respect her space, treat her like she deserves to be and more. I think shes getting sick of me or something even though she shows no signs of it when I'm with her. She acts no different. And I'm pretty sure its me because A and I get along fine. All three of us would hang out 3 or 4 times a week until recently. Now I've got dropped and don't know why. I'm usually pretty emotionally strong but this is driving me crazy because I simply don't understand. I don't know what to do or go with this. Someone please help me...

[Spring Haze]

How about doing the obvious: talk to her about it.

[kyle2892]

I've tried, all she will do is text me because she cant spare anytime to talk on the phone because she is with A. I told her I'm done texting her and want to talk to her. She said she would call later(which always means really goddamn late after her and A are done.)Then I brought up the point that she will blow me off at the drop of a hat if A wants to talk, but if I need to talk she can't even give me like 5 minutes of her precious time with A to talk to me. I told her that I would just talk to her later and that i loved her....no reply.

[Adrift]

Well, for what it's worth, here's my opinion. It's time to back WAY off. I know you have strong feelings for this girl, but those feelings are not being reciprocated. If you continue to press her, you'll just cause more strain in the relationship. I know it's going to drive you crazy for a while, but you need - desperately need - to find something else to occupy your mind. Let her work through this friendship with A, and if she finds she misses you, let her take the first step.

[kyle2892]

I think this is good advice..ill just back off, and if she wants to keep our relationship then she gets to make the step. I just talked to her about it tonight, and got told I was overreacting, when really I was just talking to her about it. But the thing is she has been blowing me off so much, and this is the first time I've even brought it up. I got told I was rather low on her priorities list, under family, A, work, and even her male college friends who will be home this summer...that one set me off. but I held back. She also told me we aren't aloud to make plans with each other anymore because I "overreact" when she lets me down and she doesn't want to make plans with me if theres a chance A can hang out that night. Has anyone else gone through something similar?

[meg]

Okay, so I've been dating this girl for 3 months. Everything going beautifully until about the last couple of weeks. Nothing different has happen, no fight or anything. The last time we hung out everything was awesome, just like it always is. But these past couple weeks she keeps blowing me off for her best friend(A). I completely respect her spending time with A, and thats not the problem. Her and I will make plans, and then at a drop of the hat if A wants to hang out I get ditched and get the one thing I was looking forward to all day taken away. Its even got to the point where she will avoid making plans with me just in case A wants to hang out. And its not like I smother her or anything like that, I respect her space, treat her like she deserves to be and more. I think shes getting sick of me or something even though she shows no signs of it when I'm with her. She acts no different. And I'm pretty sure its me because A and I get along fine. All three of us would hang out 3 or 4 times a week until recently. Now I've got dropped and don't know why. I'm usually pretty emotionally strong but this is driving me crazy because I simply don't understand. I don't know what to do or go with this. Someone please help me...

I've been dating my boyfriend for a year. And recently my best friend has been going throught alot and i've been leaving him alot more to be with her. Its totally not a big deal to me but if freaks my boyfriend out. He totally didnt handle it very well. But to me I just see it as my friend needs me more and my guy should get it. I wouldnt stress too much, just ask her about it, tell her you're chill with her hanging with her friends alot but you really like spending time with her and want more. maybe she'll let you in on whats going on.

[kyle2892]

Yea. I guess I'm sort of in the same boat as your boyfriend. I truly am chill with it, but what I'm not chill about if her calling me 15 minutes before we are spose to spend time together and telling me that shes hanging out with A instead. Shes told me the max amount of time she will plan ahead with me is 30 minutes...hm.

[Spring Haze]

I think this is good advice..ill just back off, and if she wants to keep our relationship then she gets to make the step. I just talked to her about it tonight, and got told I was overreacting, when really I was just talking to her about it. But the thing is she has been blowing me off so much, and this is the first time I've even brought it up. I got told I was rather low on her priorities list, under family, A, work, and even her male college friends who will be home this summer...that one set me off. but I held back. She also told me we aren't aloud to make plans with each other anymore because I "overreact" when she lets me down and she doesn't want to make plans with me if theres a chance A can hang out that night. Has anyone else gone through something similar?

It's clear who wears the pants in this relationship. Find someone to date who not only considers you a priority, but will VALIDATE your concerns when confronted with them. She's not worth twiddling your thumbs for.

[kyle2892]

It just kills me inside because she has completely change in the past week. Without warning or reason.

[Juristhea]

It just kills me inside because she has completely change in the past week. Without warning or reason.

Hey there, Kyle

It looks like you are having a hard time and after reading the previous posts, I have to agree with them. It's time for you to back off. Clearly she doesn't know how to break up with someone and this is not healthy for you to have this relationship with her at this point in time.

[NeverBeenNLuvB4]

Sounds like she's not ready or committed to this relationship. Or the worst, she has lost interest in you for whatever reason. I agree, back off for now. Let her come back to you if or when she feels like it.

[candle23]

Her friend is simply an excuse for her to avoid you. Talk to her about it.

[Yggdrasil]

I suggest you simply leave her be. It's obvious she's playing some kind of game. You should be above that. Keep your self worth and self esteem, back off and look around for a cute nice girl who really cares about you and respects you, instead of being someone's doormat.

Just my opinion.

[Rollerderby]

Girls definitely need their girl time, but she shouldn't be blowing you off as much as she sounds she is. The fact that she is putting you so low on the totem pole pretty much defines how she feels about you. Don't expect it to change by talking to her since you have already tried and she told you, you were overreacting, and is punishing you with less time.

[kyle2892]

I guess thats what I will do then, as hard as it will be. Thanks to all who answered, i don't have many people to talk to about this. None of my guy friends really understand. She must have just changed her mind for some reason, because she was the one really pushing for a serious and committed relationship, which I was all for. She just really made me believe it was something really special. Then she just changed. But if thats truly not what she wants now, then I guess theres no reason for me to keep wanting it. It just really sucks. But thats life I guess. This calls for a mandate(no homo), cookout and getting drunk. lol

But seriously THANK YOU so much to each one of you who answered. I can't tell you how much I appreciate your advice!