Boyfriend cheating on me with porn - how do I put a stop to this?

[Rachel Pierce]

I've been looking around the forum, and I must say I'm quite surprised on some of the threads it says that al guys these days watch porn, and that us girls should just deal with it?? What sort of an attitude is that? I find the whole porn thing incredibly seedy and repulsive. Dont you know these girls are half-drugged to the eyeballs, and paid money to be sodomised anally to fund their drug habit. Yet guys get off on watching these drug addict sluts, who are probably riddled with diseased from all the guys they screw, getting fisted or raped in the anus by muliple men. Yuck! Sex should be about L-O-V-E, not abuse. No wonder there's so many serial killers and rapists out there.

So my problem is, I was recently looking on my bf's laptop, when I found a folder filled with porn. Now, I knew he had a porn problem when I first met him, as well as ex-gf issues. I found over 20 dvds of porn under his bed, as well as photo albums of him with his ex gfs, and I made him destroy all of them when we first started dating. But now when I confromted him about it, he says he refuses to delete the files on his laptop (there are a lot - over 100), and he says it's normal for a guy to look at porn, which sorry I dont agree with. Watching porn is cheating on me, as he is having a sexual relation with himself while looking at another woman's body lustfully.

In the Bible, Matthew 5:28 says "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.", so it's clear that even by him looking lustfully at these other women, he's cheating on me.

So what I want to know is how do I put a stop to this. Please, no porn addicts replying to this thread, I dont want to hear about your pathetic excuses why they 'think' guys should be able to watch another woman in a sexual manner, when they have a gf / wife / fiancee they can be watching instead.

[oldskool83]

buy a mag and put your face on every picture. see if he has the balls to jack his shit to that then. prob would be a kick in the dick if some did that to me, id rather have the real girl the not. if not ask doctor for sex addtict help, people with problems never see them.

[bulrush]

If you don't like his porn, don't date him.

One more thing. I accept Jesus as my savior, but I watch porn sometimes. God made us in His image, and he made us to enjoy sex. If God has a problem with this, when the time comes, He and I will have a serious talk about it.

Very few actresses have a drug habit, because if they did, they would not show up to work on time, and would soon be fired. You can't make a movie if the girl doesn't show up. So any druggies get out of the business fast.

[steviej]

Dont you know these girls are half-drugged to the eyeballs, and paid money to be sodomised anally to fund their drug habit. Yet guys get off on watching these drug addict sluts, who are probably riddled with diseased from all the guys they screw, getting fisted or raped in the anus by muliple men. Yuck! Sex should be about L-O-V-E, not abuse. No wonder there's so many serial killers and rapists out there.

LOL!! Honestly i laughed about that, talk about hype and propaganda. So porn, rapists & serial killers are related? Please show proof of this link! You just might be able to stop every rapist and serial killer with this!!

So my problem is, I was recently looking on my bf's laptop, when I found a folder filled with porn. Now, I knew he had a porn problem when I first met him, as well as ex-gf issues. I found over 20 dvds of porn under his bed, as well as photo albums of him with his ex gfs, and I made him destroy all of them when we first started dating.

So you're a snooping control freak?

But now when I confromted him about it, he says he refuses to delete the files on his laptop (there are a lot - over 100), and he says it's normal for a guy to look at porn, which sorry I dont agree with. Watching porn is cheating on me, as he is having a sexual relation with himself while looking at another woman's body lustfully.

As much as you don't want to admit it, its healthy and normal to look at porn. Your issue is not understanding how a bloke views porn, it's not the way you think.

In the Bible, Matthew 5:28 says "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.", so it's clear that even by him looking lustfully at these other women, he's cheating on me.

If he's a bible basher as well like you, then he'll have to argue verses and scripture with you. Unfortunately for you if you believe that nonsense, he'll 'cheat' on you at least ten times a day when watching tv/at work/ driving past a college ;-) etc etc.

So what I want to know is how do I put a stop to this. Please, no porn addicts replying to this thread, I dont want to hear about your pathetic excuses why they 'think' guys should be able to watch another woman in a sexual manner, when they have a gf / wife / fiancee they can be watching instead.

You go and find someone as religous/deluded as yourself. Stop trying to change him, it's the classic mistake of trying to change your partner to suit yourself instead of loving them for who they are.

Your choice is accept it or leave.

[workingman78]

Just to clarify to the original poster, you don't masterbate, correct? This is a difficult question to answer because there is a lot of dynamic to it. The biggest one in my mind is, should you be in a relationship that you feel you need to change your partner so much? Just as importantly, would you make those kind of changes for him? He is obviously not feeling where you are coming from, and I see lots of comments in your post like "I MADE him...." you should not have to "make him" do anything. If he changes he should do it for himself, not because he feels coerced by you. On that note, the problem may be deeper then that. Could it be he is having a problem with the sex with you? Maybe he is not satisfied with your guys sexual relationship and is not able/willing to approach you with it.

[Rachel Pierce]

Very few actresses have a drug habit, because if they did, they would not show up to work on time, and would soon be fired. You can't make a movie if the girl doesn't show up. So any druggies get out of the business fast.

OMG! Did you just call some whore who makes porn an 'actress'?? Are you serious? A real actress is trained professionally in method, stage, theatre and drama. She knows how to learn lines and deliver them while keeping in character, and is skilled in accents, language, improvisation, body language, stage combat, mime etc.

I would not class bending over, moaning loudly, and letting 50 guys rape you in the anus as 'acting'. If you think any different, you are seriously deluding yourself.

[Wakeup]

*gets popcorn*

[workingman78]

OMG! Did you just call some whore who makes porn an 'actress'?? Are you serious? A real actress is trained professionally in method, stage, theatre and drama. She knows how to learn lines and deliver them while keeping in character, and is skilled in accents, language, improvisation, body language, stage combat, mime etc.

I would not class bending over, moaning loudly, and letting 50 guys rape you in the anus as 'acting'. If you think any different, you are seriously deluding yourself.

I am going to beg to differ with you. I am no expert in porn, but I actually know a guy who dated a porn actress once, and of course given the opportunity to talk with her, I learned quite a few things.

-A lot of porn actress/actors started out trying to do regular acting. They can keep in character, and many have been to school for acting. And surprisingly enough there is a lot more then just screwing involved. Being able to postion correctly for a camera, moan in a attractive way, etc. She actually said it was quite hard to have sex and make it look as good as it does on camera.
-There is a very serious additude when it comes to disease. A porn actor/actress must get regular check ups and tests, and keep track of all their partners, including those they have off stage.
-The same goes for drugs, many/most studios etc well have testing for prohibited drugs because if someone is high on something while doing a porn and later says they were raped etc, the studio could be sued.

Now I am only talking about what was told to me, and I am no expert on the porn industry at all, but I think you are being overly dramatic about it.

[IndiReloaded]

Jezus is my saviour too. Hallelujah. Porn is the devils work.

But I bet the screening room is hell is awesome.

[bulrush]

Rachel, God put you on earth for a reason, even if it's to show people how NOT to approach religion.

I hope you get professional help soon.

[MetalPhoenix]

You don't want to date someone who doesn't watch porn?
Then don't date. Please.

Your ancient ideas and fairytales need to disappear from this planet (yes, I mean your religion).
Or just date the someone as misguided as yourself. And please, please, please DON'T reproduce. Giving a kid such ****ed up ideas (again..religion) is nothing but cruel

[Rachel Pierce]

Just to clarify to the original poster, you don't masterbate, correct? This is a difficult question to answer because there is a lot of dynamic to it. The biggest one in my mind is, should you be in a relationship that you feel you need to change your partner so much? Just as importantly, would you make those kind of changes for him?

Well I need to change him if he is unwilling to change himself because I love him, obviously! I think we've all seen the posters and ad campaign "Porn Harms" and know just how dangerous porn is. Porn addiction is very real, and I want to get my bf the help he needs to quit this garbage for good before it screws him up mentally. I think most people on this thread are deluding themselves if they don see the harm porns done to them. It desensitises you in a way where you become obsessed by it. Guys who watch too much porn end up not being able to even look at women in the street without imagining every woman they see naked cos they have been screwed up by porn. These are the type of guys who end up raping people's daughters cos they can't control their urges, all because they watched porn.

And no, I do not masturbate, and I'm not happy my bf masturbates either, and I have told him this many times. It's not healthy to do that thing, and it is very sinful. Think of it this way, if a guy is masturbating he is effectively touching a man's penis (his own) in a sexual manner, which is basically having gay sex with himself, which is why were taught in Church group that masturbation could turn someone gay, or open him to the possibility of touching other men's penises, which is why were warned against it. I dont want to come across as a total Jesus freak, cos I'm really not like that. I jus have a strong sense of what's right and wrong, and want better for myself and my boyfriend. I want him to realise how wrong it is to touch himself in that way, and how hurtful it is to look at other girls when he does it.

[HeartIsAching]

Well I need to change him if he is unwilling to change himself because I love him, obviously!

I hope he escapes from your crazy controlling ass before it's too late. I'm betting it's like being snared by the Saarlac.

[steviej]

#HOWLS WITH LAUGHTER!!#

Wakeup, pass the popcorn, this is awesome! Must be a troll, i can't believe people like her exist. Well, except in american cults where they are all inbred and end up having a big shootout with the fbi.

[KingZ]

This thread made me want to go fap.