Is it possible to just not feel "IT" anymore?

[SecretlySad]

I have been with my boyfriend for about 5.5 years now. I was very young when we started dating, him much older than me (21, 38).

Over the years I feel I have changed and... not grown away from him, but I just don't feel the connection I used to feel anymore. I feel like we're friends and nothing more.

We never have sex and I don't mind one bit - but I still love hanging out with him and cuddling. I don't want to get married either.

I can't explain it but when my 27th birthday and his 44th birthday rolled around, something just changed in me, and I think this (as in a relationship with a man his age) is not what I want anymore. In fact I don't think I want to be with anyone anymore.

How do I sit him down and tell him this after so long?

[mspandaroo]

it sounds like a toughy because you guys have been together for such a long time and you have spent a lot of your 20s with a man who is so much older than you. You missed out on doing girly things like going out for martinis and being hot and single.

You should go experience that while you can. Make sure you are financially stable and capable to get your own place, and be independent. The biggest set back from a lot of relationships are financial situations where the couple is living together for quite some time and one is dependent on the other.

Tell him how you feel, when the time is right, it's really not fair for both of you to let this continue.

[SecretlySad]

it sounds like a toughy because you guys have been together for such a long time and you have spent a lot of your 20s with a man who is so much older than you. You missed out on doing girly things like going out for martinis and being hot and single.

That is something I think about often... I have already spent the years where it was still "ok" to be a little out of control and reckless, in a serious relationship with him. Now I am at an age where I "should be" settling down - all my friends are anyway - and that's the last thing I want.

I know it is not fair to either of us... he is just going to be completely crushed, that's all. I don't know if I can stand him hating me.