coming to terms with myself...

[RSK]

I have been a victim of manipulation. A friend of mine (or so I thought) is an artist. He has perfected the art of manipulation. And I am his victim.

I don't have many friends - because he always talked them down. He didn't like me hanging around 'other' people. He convinced me that they were 'lower' than 'us'. I believed him.

But it was OK for him to meet people, and get friendly.

I thought me and him were a 'team'. Like we were unseperable. However, with time, comes truth.

I have known him for about 5 years now. I don't want to get into details, but recently, I've noticed a change in behavior on his part.

Recently, he has directed cold treatment toward me.

I have been in my apartment for two straight days since I got back from Indy. And he knows that too. He knows that I don't know anybody. And yet, he leaves the apartment to have dinners with 'his' friends.


There's a lot of history between us. I know a lot about him, and he knows quite a bit about me.


He has indirectly tried to steal money from me. He puts me down infront of chicks. He exposes my 'loner' type existence indirectly, infront of my parents (which is embarrasing). All around, he is a manipulator. And I've wasted time on him.

This is not the first time I've felt like this. However, usually these feelings fade away, and we start joking again...

...I think I'm going to stop now.

Enough is enough. I don't know if it's considered psycological abuse. But he is NOT a nice guy.

I can't ask for 5 years back. I'm 22 now, and have no 'real' group of friends. I can't ask for my time back. This is very upsetting.


He knows that I havn't been kissed. So, he gets pictures of girls making out with him, and puts them around the apartment - for me to see. He gets to me this way. He tells his friends about my 'virgin' status.

Having said this: He is a 'manipulator', because above all this, he has managed to keep me as a friend for all this time. He is the most 'street smart' person you could EVER meet. He is charasmatic, and full of energy. He is a womanizer, and has sex with three different women per week. And I am his victim.

I am going to put EVERYTHING above, behind me!

I HAVE A CHALLENGE NOW: to start with a clean slate. i have no job, i'm not volunteering anymore, and i am not involved in any kind of club or organization. i will change this. my challenge is, to see if i can find my OWN feet here in this city. i will get out. i will find a job - this is were i can meet people. if i can do this, at 22, then i can do anything. i know that i am capable. i am a very vibrant person - i've just lost my bearing over the years - that's all.

[Asip4u]

RSK..bro..

Certain individuals feel like their lives are crap so they use somebody they think is lower then them to make themself feel better. Never allow yourself to get together with anyone like that. That's not friendship. Like you mentioned and we all know it, you're a smart guy, get yourself together with those who are real, those who you can trust...Those who won't bs with you and those who you won't have to figure out so much. Become more independent and do things that you usually not do...You'll make better friends, guaranteed.

[independent]

My heart goes out to you, RSK.

As you probably know, I am ending a 2 year romantic relationship with a man who is much the same. The good times were really really good. The bad times equally as bad. I look at myself in the mirror and wonder how I put up with so much of it.

It's sad, and its hard. I am just now making friends of my own again - which came much more quickly and easily than I ever thought it would. Thank goodness. Hang in there, my friend...

[squirrley]

RSK~you NEED to seperate yourself from this so called friend. I can understand you've maintained your friendship with for lack of maybe not having a large circle of friends. But sweetie, this guy sounds like a first class A-hole. He's gotta be somewhere unhappy or unfulfilled in his life to say and do the things he does, and or he's just a sleeze and gets off on making you feel miserable and giving himself an ego boost.

Are you living with this guy?

[Mish]

I think you should break up with him...

[misombra]

sorry rsk that sucks. i've had friends like that too and they can just suck all the life out of you. also you're 22 and getting out of a big transition period in your life so maybe it's best you leave this friend behind. you will find yourself having less and less energy to put up with people like this and hopefully now you know to steer clear of these people. hint: there's a lot of them out there.

don't worry about not having friends they will come, you will see.

[shh!]

sorry rsk that sucks. i've had friends like that too and they can just suck all the life out of you. also you're 22 and getting out of a big transition period in your life so maybe it's best you leave this friend behind. you will find yourself having less and less energy to put up with people like this and hopefully now you know to steer clear of these people. hint: there's a lot of them out there.

don't worry about not having friends they will come, you will see.

I agree with misombra. You will become increasingly adept at being able to recognize the warning signs before investing much of your time into these types of bad relationships. I know that this situation sucks right now, but it will ultimately benefit you in the form of wisdom, so try not to be bitter about it. Just move on and seek higher quality people to hang with.

[Tone]

I agree with what the others said, RK, but most of all I agree with this:

i know that i am capable. i am a very vibrant person - i've just lost my bearing over the years - that's all.

I hope you get into Creighton so I can be your new "friend." ^_^

[independent]

I like that too. It's such a positive step in the right direction that you know yourself, and also that you are aware of what has been going on in your environment. Now that you "know", you have an obligation to yourself to make changes. Change is hard (good or bad - change is always difficult)... but a strong resolve to do it makes it a lot easier.

[Rosebud]

Rsk, You are a good guy and it makes me angry to know a lot of people like to take advantage of others. I'm glad you have realized this about that person and are willing to do something about it. You are very smart and I know a lot of good things are headed your way. Just stay strong, and put your energy into all those things you want for yourself, and you'll be fine!!!

[Junket]

Good to see you've managed to pull the wool from off your eyes.

[RSK]

thank you all so much!

i just wanna be happy :-)

i have a very supportive family. and it also seems like I have friends all over the country now! who you ask? YOU ALL! my LF buddies!

Tone ---> i really hope creighton works out!

i appreciate all the words above, more than you can know!

[independent]

and it also seems like I have friends all over the country now! who you ask? YOU ALL! my LF buddies!

I feel the same


Too, I found that when I actually looked, and made an effort, friends in my own environment were readily available.

*hugs*

[lilwing89]

your 22 dude, you sound like me when i was in kindergarten, when everybody hate me and i didnt have any friends or nothin.

dude you can make fricken friends

[Junsui]

You remember Kindergarten? I don't.

Good for you RSK. Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. It is better to not have those kinds of people in your life anyways. Good luck with your challenge, I'm sure you'll pull through just fine.