She's in love with me = I lost

[Tedel]

OK, guys and girls,

This lady (38) has been in love with me (29, almost 30) for months, and, yesterday, after a long time of silence, she finally said she would stop torturing herself seeing me.

As it turns out, I'm losing a good friend because I cannot love her. It sucks.

The point is that I always told her I didn't love her as a woman but just as a friend. She was the one who didn't want to listen, who insisted, who now banged herself into a wall.

Now she won't talk wih me. Great.

Suggestions?

[ecojeanne]

what is it about her that you know why you could never be attracted to this girl?

good relationships can start on great friendships

[Only-virgins]

WARNING DO NOT TRY AND FORCE YOURSELF TO LIKE HER WARNING

She knew the risk of letting you know how she feels and that it can jeopardize a friendship. She took it anyway, you don't feel the same way for her(nothing wrong with that) and you lost a friend. Just forget about her, ignore it. Friends come and go man. There are good friends everywhere.

[Tedel]

WARNING DO NOT TRY AND FORCE YOURSELF TO LIKE HER WARNING

She knew the risk of letting you know how she feels and that it can jeopardize a friendship. She took it anyway, you don't feel the same way for her(nothing wrong with that) and you lost a friend. Just forget about her, ignore it. Friends come and go man. There are good friends everywhere.

Exactly what I needed to read. Thanks a lot.

[Tedel]

what is it about her that you know why you could never be attracted to this girl?

good relationships can start on great friendships

You are very right, but this wasn't exactly what I was thinking about in this situation: You know? Being "practical", I'd like to have many children (I was thinking on having 4 or 5) and a woman so close to 40 will no be able to give me that; just to mention one "against".

She's a great friend and a great woman, but I don't feel she's for me. Hopefully, she will find a very loving man who will love her as she deserves in the future.

Now I am taking this easier. She is feeling rejected and that's OK, I rejected her after all. I just hope she will pull together soon and call me or something soon. A friendship doesn't have to die just because I don't love her, don't you think?

[Lipp]

From the other side of it, and being a bit more tolerant, if I had a serious crush on a girl who rejected me as a boyfriend but really wanted to remain as a friend I'd do it under one condition,and that'd be that when being around she wouldn't bring a boyfriend along or flirt with other guys. This way I wouldn't get aggravated from it and walk away, and could probably hold myself from trying anything.

Anyhow, in your situation, she's giving you an "all-or-nothing" choice, so if she doesn't change there's not much you can do.

[IndiReloaded]

She's doing what we've counselled dozens of posters on here to do: go NC to get control of her feelings.

Ted, from her perspective its not 'just friends'. She has tried to make it work, but sometimes ppl just can't handle the situation.

Let her go. For now anyway. Perhaps when either you, or she, finds a life partner then you can resume the friendship. Sorry, lovie. It hurts to lose a good friend like this, I know, but sometimes it for the best.

[Gigabitch]

Yup, you must let her go. I'm sure this was a difficult decision for her- respect it.

[leitzin]

She was the one who didn't want to listen, who insisted, who now banged herself into a wall.

Tedel, Let's get down to what really happened. You dont seem emotionally tone deaf. So that means you're sensitive and smart... The only conclusion that leaves me with IS...

You were wreckless with a woman's heart. You sucked her attention and care. Then you announce your conquest to the whole world, next to that picture of your cara guapo?

AND Now you want faceless forum members to console your guilty conciencia?!

You are an egomaniac.

You don't need advice. You need to act your age and stop making people suffer for your ego gratification.

[Tedel]

^^^ WTF?

I'm sad about this and you say I'm mocking my conquer before all you!?... Wrong.

Thanks for the other replies, guys. OK, Giga, I'll follow the tip.

[vashti]

Leitzin must have experienced an unrequited love at some point.

Tedel - let her do this. She NEEDS it.