Wrong?

[buzwiz]

OK ive been going out with this lad for a few weeks now at college but i dint realy get see much of his at the moment due to one thing and another but all that should be sorted next week anyway...i was talking to him on msn a few days ago and his m8 was there and i ended up talking 2 him mate for ages until he went home i then continued to talk to by Bf and he asked me if his m8 could have my addy so i continued talking to him and his mate.

I have never actually met his mate infact id never heard of him be4 i started talking to him a few days ago! he seems like a nice guy funny , quick witted etc and we get on like reali gud mates who have knew eachother for ages which is realy surprising because i arent usually like that with people. However the problem is me and my Bf mate seem 2 have alot in common in the way we think...such as comments which could be taken dirty we both take dirty...
so weve ended up talking for hours everynight for the last 4/5 days and the conversation always ends up being dirty ...significantly dirty!

These conversations dont actually mean anything im with my Bf and hes his m8 we just like having a laff because we both find the dirty talk fun and he says he always talks dirty to girls anyway...problem is i dont know how my Bf wud take it if he knew...i wudnt intentionally lie 2 him 2 stop him finding out but i aint gonna just tell him either just hope theres never any need for him 2 find out!lol

I dont have dirty conversations with my Bf because despite the subtle dirty comments i make her never comes back at them :s so...yeah figured i just need to take my time with him

anyway is it realy wrong for me to have conversations like this will nyone never mind his mate? They dont mean anything we`ve just both got nothing better to do at the moment! but im concerned about the way by Bf will take it if she finds out because i dont wanna hurt him especially when it means nothing anyway

so.....what do you wreckon have i crossed the line? or should i not worry?

any advice appreciated!

[Gigabitch]

Listen to your conscience. You know that this isn't cool.

[anachronistic]

Are you really in college? Because the way you type really makes that thought scary. Also, where are your morals? In the toilet? He'd break up with you in a heartbeat if he found out. And then he wouldn't be able to tolerate his roommate anymore.

[Mish]

anyway is it realy wrong for me to have conversations like this will nyone never mind his mate? They dont mean anything we`ve just both got nothing better to do at the moment! but im concerned about the way by Bf will take it if she finds out because i dont wanna hurt him especially when it means nothing anyway

so.....what do you wreckon have i crossed the line? or should i not worry?

Well, think about this. Think about what would you do if your bf recieved a copy of your entire conversation with his mate in an email one day? What would you do and say to explain yourself?

[gHEXjt]

I've never had conversations for hours and hours with a girl that ended with massive sexual discussion where I didn't end up ultimately hooking up with her. It sounds like you enjoy talking to his friend more than him...Bottom line, it's really not cool. If I found out that my girlfriend was doing something like that with my best friend, I would shit colors. That said, I don't know that I would break up with her. If it didn't stop, I most certainly would, but at this point you haven't done anything that I would consider unforgivable. Your boyfriend may see that differently though. Obviously you know there is a problem here, otherwise you wouldn't have posted a thread about it, so just stop it or dump your boyfriend and keep talking dirty with his buddy.

[buzwiz]

Are you really in college? Because the way you type really makes that thought scary.

Yeah im at college (im just 17) why does the way i type make that scary?

What would you do and say to explain yourself?

Id tell him the truth, i wudnt lie to him or make it out to be something it isnt that wouldnt be fair id tell him that it didnt mean anything and that it was just abit of fun and that once i get started i cant stop with the comments which is the truth i just get carried away and i know that doesnt justify the conversations but we both have the same intentions and neither of us want to hurt my BF... Id also tell him that it was primarly my fault because i wouldnt want him falling out with his mate over it...

We`re just mates, admittedly we have become mates rather quickly but we i have no intention of `hooking up` with him but he seems like a nice lad and a good mate. He tells me personal stuff that you dont usually tell people you dont even know and he says its because he trusts me so ive got no intention of stopping speaking to him...besides hes trying get with this girl anyway and has been telling me how happy i make my BF and how its gud 2 hear him talk about me and how he wud never do anything to hurt a friend...

Looks like from a males point of view ive crossed the line then... but its only talking and im like it with all my mates i cant help myself its automatic!Is it so wrong that im doing it full stop or is it made significantly worse by the fact that its him mate?

i Have a feeling you all think im abit of a slag now but im not i just get carried away!

[gHEXjt]

It makes no difference who you're talking like that with to most guys. Unless he's present, it's out of bounds.

[Mish]

We`re just mates, admittedly we have become mates rather quickly but we i have no intention of `hooking up` with him but he seems like a nice lad and a good mate. He tells me personal stuff that you dont usually tell people you dont even know and he says its because he trusts me so ive got no intention of stopping speaking to him...

Have you heard about "Emotional Infidelity"? I think this is a direction the two of you may be heading if you are not careful.

[url]http://www.lifewise.canoe.ca/SexRomance/2005/03/05/pf-951434.html[/url]

[UnderTheRose]

I'm not sure it's just crossing the line with guys, I imagine many girls would have an immense problem if they found their guy talking like that with another girl as well.That being said you really can't be general about these things because everyone is different.He may be fine with it, although I doubt it.But even if he WOULD be fine with it, to do it without him knowing is...Shitty.Doesn't make you a slag to enjoy talking like that, but like was said I think somewhere inside you know it's probably over the line or you wouldn't have an issue

If I learned my girlfriend was talking like that to another person, friend or not, we would have a problem.I wouldn't leave her, unless the problem continued, but I wouldn't do that to her, I would expect the same in return.If I'm not worth the same level of respect and treatment I give her, that would be the end of it for me.Period.Like the link Mishanya posted, you don't have to touch someone to be unfaithful.

[buzwiz]

problem over me and my BF split up last night it wasnt anything to do with the conversations with his mate though we just didnt get too see very much of eachother and were too different i think

still talking to his mate though i think were gonna meet up sometime, just as friends