Advice ASAP?

[Vanessa]

So quick story. Back in uni I went out with a guy a couple times, then slept with him a couple times without actually defining whatever was going on between us. Then I went home for summer. Now after not speaking for months he starts to drunkenly message me asking if I wanna go for drinks when I'm back which won't be for another month and if I 'fancy another shag'. Am I wrong to kick off at him for this? I'm talking to him now and dunno if I should hold back my anger or tell him that was a dickmove.

I'll give more details later if neccesary, talking to him now and not sure if I should tell him that was a dickmove or ignore him. Now and in September.

[vampiress]

Kick'm off already........... That drunken bastard...

[pisces25]

What are you upset about? If you guys weren't defined as anything then I don't really see him doing anything wrong. If you don't want to see him/shag him say so, if you do, then do.

[maxmax]

Are you offended?

Seems like it.

If you hadn't 'defined' what you had going on before, for him to call you up to pre-arrange sex is a fairly asshole-esque thing to do.

He's spelling it out; he wants you for a shag, not much else really.

So, if you are really pissed off about this, don't even bother getting angry - just don't have anything to do with him anymore, not unless you want him to think its OK that he thinks of you as his dial-a-****.

[Vanessa]

Yes, I am offended, because I don't see myself as a booty call. When I went out with him I'd just broken up with my psycho ex and just enjoyed his company and whatever was going on for what it was, didn't give it too much thought, but we never established we'd be **** friends and it sure didn't feel like it, we actually went out, he'd come hang over with my friends, he insisted he take me out for dinner and stuff. And he's always been a gentleman. Guess he's showing his true colors now.

[ecojeanne]

guys always assume. the ones that don't tell you straight are just too afraid to. just don't reply to his contact and he'll understand pretty quick that you're not easy











now

[Vanessa]

Ughhh can't I just simply tell him that I'm not a booty call and to not bother asking again? It's not like I need permission I just can't think straight now and don't know if what I'm thinking is a good idea.

[maxmax]

What are you upset about? If you guys weren't defined as anything then I don't really see him doing anything wrong. If you don't want to see him/shag him say so, if you do, then do.

But that's why it is so offensive. At no point did they establish any kind of 'agreement' about sex ... they just happened to go out a couple of times and ended up sleeping together.

To then assume it's OK to call someone just for sex is not cool at all. I've never done it, and never would. It sounds like Vanessa spent time with him, and it was just as much about the company, with sex added.

He is just saying he wants her for sex.

[Vanessa]

Yes, thank you, if we woulda agreed we'd only meet up for sex I wouldn't have minded at all, but that wasn't the case and he surely wasn't acting like that at that point whatever his real intentions were. Anyway he logged off now so problem solved, I can't say anything anymore though I feel like my head's gonna explode if I don't. I've just been through so much shit the past few days this is the last thing I needed.

[maxmax]

Ughhh can't I just simply tell him that I'm not a booty call and to not bother asking again? It's not like I need permission I just can't think straight now and don't know if what I'm thinking is a good idea.

What exactly is it that you're not sure about?

You're pissed off and clearly offended.

You don't want to be his booty call.

Unless the offer is partially appealing to you, surely the only course of action is to set him straight and tell him no?

Unless you said or did something to make him think this kind of thing was what you wanted, then he is being a pretty major slimeball.

[Jenswaiting]

Ughhh can't I just simply tell him that I'm not a booty call and to not bother asking again? It's not like I need permission I just can't think straight now and don't know if what I'm thinking is a good idea.

Do this if you are prepared for his reaction. You could just ask him to stop sending you drunken texts and when he's next sober suggest talking. That way you can tell him you're not interested in a ****buddy relationship.

[ecojeanne]

c'mon even the way you told the story was casual...this is a loada crap drama. of course he is going to assume you're casual. search your soul and reality may give ya a wee slap in the face. what else did you expect? i'm curious actually..

[pisces25]

But that's why it is so offensive. At no point did they establish any kind of 'agreement' about sex ... they just happened to go out a couple of times and ended up sleeping together.

To then assume it's OK to call someone just for sex is not cool at all. I've never done it, and never would. It sounds like Vanessa spent time with him, and it was just as much about the company, with sex added.

He is just saying he wants her for sex.

And all she has to say is she doesn't want that. I don't think I'd be offended, it is what it is.

[pisces25]

Not forgetting he is drunk and horny. I have a dude that texts me every weekend around 1am looking for a shag, I just ignore his texts and shrug it off.

[maxmax]

And all she has to say is she doesn't want that. I don't think I'd be offended, it is what it is.

And that's fair enough :o)

Either way, he'll get his answer sooner or later ...