Her family hates me.

[moeburn]

She's not exactly in a secure family situation. Her brother just got busted for drug dealing, and someone shot at her window a few nights ago. Her dad died when she was 9. She seems relatively fine with all that.

Her sister's boyfriend, call him G, he hates me. He met me before i started dating her. He was pretty cool with me until then. Now he's afraid i'm gonna have sex with her, he's constantly over protective of her, he actually set out a list of rules for us dating that included:
-No kissing, holding hands, touching
-No talking about 'us' or 'we'
And some much more direct and sex stuff that could make anyone nervous.

Obviously he just doesn't even want to have to think about us dating, he's only concerned with getting to sleep at night. She's dated alot of nasty guys in the past, and i wouldn't consider myself like them, but i'm the first one G knows about.

What should i do?

[Tone]

Maybe try talkin with him and be like "Look man I know your sister has dated some bad guys, but I'm not one of them... I really care about her and I don't think you have to worry like that"

[moeburn]

Maybe try talkin with him and be like "Look man I know your sister has dated some bad guys, but I'm not one of them... I really care about her and I don't think you have to worry like that"

No he doesn't know about the other bad guys, he thinks i'm the first and that she doesnt know how to date a guy and that i'll seduce her or something.

I talked to him breifly, he was sort of afraid to talk to me, like he's afraid of me making him worry all night or something. Instead he's taking this all out on my gf, he's making her panic and driving her crazy and making her depressed, its REALLY pissing me off, he's going to ruin her, not me.

He thinks he's protecting her from being heartbroken, but he's putting her through more emotional distress than heartbreak would ever be.

[Late_vamp]

No he doesn't know about the other bad guys, he thinks i'm the first and that she doesnt know how to date a guy and that i'll seduce her or something.

I talked to him breifly, he was sort of afraid to talk to me, like he's afraid of me making him worry all night or something. Instead he's taking this all out on my gf, he's making her panic and driving her crazy and making her depressed, its REALLY pissing me off, he's going to ruin her, not me.

He thinks he's protecting her from being heartbroken, but he's putting her through more emotional distress than heartbreak would ever be.

i suggest you speak to him in private , face to face and to tell your GF that he's making more problems than by trying to help .
how old are you guys? is he like a older bro ...like 25 y old or what?

[moeburn]

i suggest you speak to him in private , face to face and to tell your GF that he's making more problems than by trying to help .
how old are you guys? is he like a older bro ...like 25 y old or what?

She's 15, I'm 16, he's 29 i think.

[Late_vamp]

She's 15, I'm 16, he's 29 i think.

ok , this explains it , he's a little old . if he would have been younger , he probably would have not cared as much . try talking to your GF about it first , tell her your intentions when youll try to talk to him (if you decide you want to) ...and i understand he doesnt want ANY guy touching his little sis , but come on , not holding hands and not saying "we " or "us" ... he wants her to become a nun or what ? if he asks this about you , you dont have to respect it . remember , its you and her relationship , not his . he's not her parents , if it would be the father i would understand more .

what I would do id to talk to her first , then try to talk to him and make him justify why he doesnt even want you to say "we" ...

"ohh hi miss smith . we ...uhh i mean , me and sandra are going to the movies tonight . ""
come on WTF , you cant say 'we' .

if he doesnt want to understand than in the end i would just say "screw him and his requests" and i would continue to be with my girl .

[moeburn]

ok , this explains it , he's a little old . if he would have been younger , he probably would have not cared as much . try talking to your GF about it first , tell her your intentions when youll try to talk to him (if you decide you want to) ...and i understand he doesnt want ANY guy touching his little sis , but come on , not holding hands and not saying "we " or "us" ... he wants her to become a nun or what ? if he asks this about you , you dont have to respect it . remember , its you and her relationship , not his . he's not her parents , if it would be the father i would understand more .

what I would do id to talk to her first , then try to talk to him and make him justify why he doesnt even want you to say "we" ...

"ohh hi miss smith . we ...uhh i mean , me and sandra are going to the movies tonight . ""
come on WTF , you cant say 'we' .

if he doesnt want to understand than in the end i would just say "screw him and his requests" and i would continue to be with my girl .

He's acting like the father because her father died when she was 9.

Thanks for the advice, i'm gonna talk to him as soon as I get her permission. The problem is, if i don't end up with a positive result after talking to him, he's just gonna talk to her and stress her out even more.

[Late_vamp]

He's acting like the father because her father died when she was 9.

Thanks for the advice, i'm gonna talk to him as soon as I get her permission. The problem is, if i don't end up with a positive result after talking to him, he's just gonna talk to her and stress her out even more.

ok , he's the man of the house , is the mother around ?

mothers can be of great help usually ...unless she doesnt like you also.

[moeburn]

Yeah, and although her mom is apparently the same kind of overprotective person as G, she's suprisingly cool with me, she said i have high spirits.

[lilwing89]

-No kissing, holding hands, touching
-No talking about 'us' or 'we'
And some much more direct and sex stuff that could make anyone nervous.

umm, minus those 3 things, can you honestly say with what you have already that you are dating for real, and you are happy with the relationship?

prolly not..

find a better girl with a better family.