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Thread: not sure where to post this...

  1. #1
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    not sure where to post this...

    okay so im new, so hey
    i really really need help with this...
    an ex boyfriend from 5 years ago has recently been in contact with me. He said if i dont get back with him and give him my number he will post some very private images of me online. i was very young and very silly to even consider doing it. but i did and i had long forgotten about it until now.
    he has threatened me with it numerous times previously when i tried to leave him or i didnt do something he wanted. he was very very controlling, manipulative and abusive. i really cant have pictures like that all over the internet.
    he has blocked me on fb so the only means of contact would be via phone, but i dont want him to have my number.. he would call me 50+ times a day and text me constantly. ive just started a job i love and i dont want his constant harassment to ruin things for me again.
    i have no idea what to do.

  2. #2
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    Best you can do is dont be afraid. Also you not alone. You can go to police and report stalking. They will call him to come and talk with them.
    However block his number and any contacts. Hes sick and needs professional help. Theres no excuse what he did you dont deserve it. No one deserve that.

    Also dont be afraid of yourself. What you did in the past was you and the way you was back then. Maybe you was spontaneous and unthoghtful. If someone asks say it was long ago and you dont remember. You was young.(Get a life people) But all you can do is love who you was and are. He have power only when you afraid, thats hes only weapon cause hes weak and cant manipulate strong girls.

    youtube.com/watch?v=eP_eI5T_deU
    Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

  3. #3
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    This reminds me of a guy i dated years ago. When i broke up with him, he threatened me saying he recorded us having sex and that he was going to put it online and everybody would get to see it. Except i come back to him and start dating him again. ( I had no ideal if he did actually recorded us having sex which was unknown to me. Although i was still very young at that time and i remember he was very, very controlling. Always his way or the high way)

    I remember writing him an email ( At this time around i blocked all contact with him. I always found his email in my Spam folder ) telling him how awesome that would be and that i am so excited and at least i would get to be an Internet star after everybody should have seen our sex video tape. I asked him to please go ahead and do it!

    That was when i never heard from him again....( Because i made him know i wasn't afraid, he can go ahead and pull the last plug )
    Last edited by rest77; 07-03-14 at 08:37 AM.

  4. #4
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    Change your number/ change your email so he knows he has no way of contacting you again.

  5. #5
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    thanks for the replies, i was very young and trusting at the time and thought he would just delete them after a while, i guess i just have to keep strong about it all and not let him bring me down to use again.. i told him i would contact the police the last time i spoke to him and he stopped contacting me until now, so maybe it would work again...
    my number has been changed so he currently doesnt have it, i didnt text him because i dont want him getting my number but i also have no other way of contacting him. i guess its just a body at the end of the day.. there are lots of naked ladies on the internet...
    thank you

  6. #6
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    He's threatening you to force you to do something against your will. You need to contact the police. They tend to take electronic harassment fairly seriously these days.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by askingmj View Post
    okay so im new, so hey
    i really really need help with this...
    an ex boyfriend from 5 years ago has recently been in contact with me. He said if i dont get back with him and give him my number he will post some very private images of me online. i was very young and very silly to even consider doing it. but i did and i had long forgotten about it until now.
    he has threatened me with it numerous times previously when i tried to leave him or i didnt do something he wanted. he was very very controlling, manipulative and abusive. i really cant have pictures like that all over the internet.
    he has blocked me on fb so the only means of contact would be via phone, but i dont want him to have my number.. he would call me 50+ times a day and text me constantly. ive just started a job i love and i dont want his constant harassment to ruin things for me again.
    i have no idea what to do.
    *67 prior to calling if you must call. Find out where he is and once you have, tell me him you'll involve the cops if he doesn't cease with the threats.

  8. #8
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    If you gave him the pics when young, and possibly underage he is threatening to post child porn not good for him and against your will/consent even though you gave him the pics, you didn't consent for anyone else or the whole world to see them, contact police and a lawyer. Don't give in to his threats. Ignore him and contact people with power to help you.

  9. #9
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    Tell him you are going to the police. How old were you when these were taken? If you were under 18 then tell him he is in possession of child porn and if he distributes it online he would be facing a v long prison sentence. Threaten him back and go to a solicitor. See what your rights are
    "Don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer".

  10. #10
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    If not there is no law protecting someone that is naked in photos, if it was shared with that person. That person is free to do whatever with those photos.

  11. #11
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    Threatening to put your photos on the internet if you don't talk to him is called extortion and it is illegal.

    You say that you were very young when you posed for the photos. Were you under 18? If so, speak to the police NOW and have him charged with possessing child pornography. If he puts them online he can be charged with distribution of child pornography.

    If you were over 18 when they were taken, talk to the police about your options. After looking online, some say it's legal and some say it's not....I have no idea. But if it is legal, you could possibly sue him for harassment. Or look at a 'cease and desist' order.

    You may also want to investigate who legally owns those images.

    Please, please go to the police. If you have evidence of his threats, take them with you.
    Last edited by basilandthyme; 13-03-14 at 07:11 PM.
    Never regret anything that has happened in your life. It cannot be changed, forgotten or undone. So, take it as a lesson learned and move on.

  12. #12
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    It's not extortion unless he is asking for money, or something of value like property or a service. This has been a hot topic, but there is nothing the cops can do if the photos were given to him freely, then she can't do jack shit about it. If he took those photos without her permission or her unknowingly then she can sue him or press charges.

    - - - Updated - - -

    If the threats are about him harmiing her physically or a death threat then the police will do something about it. Since it is not, it's just personal that she has to deal with for herself.

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