cheater always a cheater?

[Brokenhart]

Briefly,
im 21 and my boyfriend is 34 and we've been together for 6 years. We've had a string of problems but mostly its been his cheating which has got me thinking will he ever change? At first he would reassure me that he would never cheat on me like the younger boys do but he started to get more insecure as time went by. I also found that when i started college i wanted to date boys my age and this didnt help his insecurity. To cut a very long story short i have been trying to trust him but he has cheated on me soo many times i feel like a fool but he just wont let me go. 1 year ago i found out he got his ex pregnant and i never knew that i could cry soo hard and o vowed i would not take him back but i found out i was also pregnant at the same time aswell so i was in a very messed up place. I dont know where i am going with this because any idiot can see that i should leave him but how can i trust him? since we've been together he's cheated on me more than 4 times and myself probably sround the same but i have always confessed to him because ive been confused and suffocated. On the contrary whenever i broke up with him he thinks its the perfect opportunity to have sex with other people which was the main reason why we broke up in the first place.

I know that i need to be strong but i dont have any friends that i have confided to because i am ashamed of the age gap and fact he has 5 kids. I guess im just looking for someone to talk to about this cause i feel so low and depressed becuase truly he is my only friend i have. Any advice would help thanks (not very brief huh sorry)

K x

[HeartIsAching]

So you've been together since he was 28 and you were 16?!

He has so many problems it's not even funny. Get the hell away from him. There is only one reason a man his age picks a girl your age - control.

And no - he'll never stop cheating on you.

[Evo1114]

Get away from this guy! Holy crap!

I certainly mean no offense to you as I don't know how you met him, but it doesn't matter...28 year olds dating 15/16 year olds are either 1) pedophiles or 2) have a serious mental disorder. Usually 1 reason is enough to leave somebody, but your entire post was filled with reasons! If you have to question at all, he obviously has achieved his goal of having complete control over you. You are young, do you want to still be going through this same shit 10 years from now? He's not going to stop. Is it that you feel like you cannot possibly survive without him? Because often times victims of pedophiles will often develop a dependency on their attacker. Like they hate being with them, but they cannot imagine being able to survive without them. It sounds like a path you are heading down if you are not already there.

This really creeped me out.."he would never cheat on me like the younger boys do". First of all, that is creepy beyond words. Secondly, he is a liar. Thirdly, just because somebody is young does not automatically mean they are going to cheat, as he implied. "Be with me, I'm old so I don't cheat." Laughable.

Take your life back or this creep is seriously going to ruin it!

[vashti]

Aww, sweety! He WILL cheat on you - again, and again, and again! He likes them inappropriately young (you know this since he started dating you when you were only 15), and you are getting older. Add to that the fact that you have continually forgiven him for running around - what would be his motivation to stop?

It is only natural you should find yourself interested in dating someone without so much baggage. Get rid of this creepy loser, spend some time by yourself, and only then should you think about finding someone else. Don't hurry past the part about spending time by yourself - you are at high risk for choosing another loser if you don't learn more about how to be independent.

[Brokenhart]

I've just read your posts and all of them are encouraging and you'be given me a few home truths that at the back of my mind i've been thinking for years. A little tear came to my eye aswell (feel so corny) but apart from family i have not talked to any one about my troubles and your advice has been very touching to me and thankyou evo114, vashit and heartisaching for taking the time out to reply.

I have recieved a text from him saying he loves me and for sure i know i will be soon bombarded with texts and phonecalls so im sure soon i may have to change my number. Looking back at that extract when i said ' he wont let me go', it does seem like i dont have control because i can go but i just need to be strong enough mentally to see it through. At the moment i feel so empowered by all of your words but i know afterwards i will go back to feeling low and empty.

Honestly, i dont know how im gonna get through this, its so tough but ill keep looking at your posts hopefully it should give a reminder of what a mind controlling cheat he is. I dont wana b one of those people that depresses others with their pathetic posts so i wont do that.

Thanks again, xxx (there are people in the world that cares)

[vampiress]

You know you should leave him. but keep in mind that he'll always come back asking for your forgiveness....after all he'd taken you for granted for such a long time.
so be prepared to say NO....