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Thread: pls PLEAsE help me guys =(

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
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    pls PLEAsE help me guys =(

    il try to keep this as quick as possible, iv been married for 1 yr but due to my religious and cultural beliefs there is no "dating".. my husband had his eye on me for a while, he got his sister to approach me n see if i was interested (and i was) so we had some supervised meetings to talk and then 2 months later we wer married, 2 mor months he asked me to move in.
    That is NOT wat i want ur comments on, i jst had to explain how things began..

    The real problem is that we dont hav sex. Never. Ever!!! ='(
    he said that after the first week he got married that he wasnt attracted to me (go figure seeing as he wanted me) he gave me 100 reasons from not liking my hair color, not liking my skin color, etc. so i dyed m hair n went solarium but then he says its bcoz of my ass coz its not a great phat ghetto booty (iv got an ass, i used to b a dancer bak in the days - im about 5"4 50kgs , im a small hourglass figure) my ass jst isnt as big as he likes..

    anyway over thefirst 6 months he put me thru alot, i wld find him watchin porn or tossing himself instead of coming to me =( and wen i wld say to him why ru doin that wen uv got me? he wld say wtf do u want me to do, cheat on u instead?
    omg he broke my heart

    after 7 months i cld take it anymor, i left him for a month. and surprise surprise this month we wer apart it was like he had a hard on for me.. everytime we wld meet to work things out ye wld b kissing me touching me, playin wit me - i didnt let him hav sex wit me but he was gettin turned on from it so i figured he changed, so i came back to him

    iv been bak 2 months now n yep u guessed it - nothing. i cant touch him coz he doesnt "like" that, and he doesnt wana touch me.. iv got hundreds of dollars of lingerie i wear for him n it doesnt even interest him, sometimes he'll slap me on the ass or he'll grab my pussy but thats it..
    iv seen him change, the sex is the only issue. i no he isnt cheating on me for a fact so dnt think that is a reason, but from a guys point of veiw wat does this mean?

    i even got in touch with one of his exs (she looks jst like me but a fuller figure, shes mor chunky if that makes sense & she has a bigger ass ) and she said he had no problem in the bedroom so im so fukn depressed wat do i do?

    we do love each other and our only problem is the sex. we hav great times togetherr but i go fkn crazy wen i go to him n he turns me down. all his exs cheated on him n fkd him around i wld neva do that to him coz im not a girl like that but why he cant hav sex wit me i dnt no..

    i shldnt hav to play wit myself it makes me mor depressed =( wat shld i do pls help im crying as i write this

    thanks

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    1,934
    Well it's impossible to have a strong marriage without sex so there you go.

    Please....this is not the year 540 BC. Marry someone you know. There's a reason Western Culture has flourished throughout the world and this is a perfect example.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    1,427
    This is stupid, and you are stupid for putting up with that in the year 2011. Known each other 2 months, get married to a loser and then wanting to be a good wife to a loser? *vomits* Hmmm...i got a crazy idea....why not DIVORCE his ass?! He obviously can perform sexually if he watches porn. He just finds chasing a girl to be more thrilling than the other way around. Once he has a girl, he isn't interested. Once he finds a girl "hard to get", he is very horny. He just likes the game. He is a loser.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2011
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    West Michigan
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    I wonder if he's gay and he wanted to get married to hide that fact. Gay people are not just in America or Europe you know.
    I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
    (Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
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    Athens, GR
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    45
    Maybe he's addicted to porn...

  6. #6
    Join Date
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    This is not a marriage if it has not been consummated. There is a possibility that his exes cheated for that very reason....he wouldn't have sex with them or he lost interest. You deserve to have a loving and intimate marriage. If he has not been able to fulfill you, there is nothing wrong with getting this marriage annulled. It's not a divorce, just means the marriage never was, or it is invalid, so you wouldn't be breaking any of your beliefs. Whatever his reasons are, they are not your problem but his. Yes there is a possibility he is gay, and he is hiding it with marriage to keep his family honor. You cannot change what is, I would suggest seeking legal action to get out of this non marriage.
    Last edited by smackie9; 12-12-11 at 07:37 AM.

  7. #7
    Join Date
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    by the way, you shouldn't have to be belittled, put down or abused in a relationship. You are dreaming if you think he loves you for he says horrible things to you needlessly. This is a marriage out of convenience, and you deserve better.

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