i love her i lost her

[jonyquest]

Okay where to begin. Well I am 26 and I am going to graduate school. I have never been in love before until now. The girl I am missing is 19

So we met through a mutual friend. Our relationship actually started out kinda weird. We bascially just started talking to each other on the phone. We were living far away from each other, so meeting was not an option. We would text each other everyday almost all day, and then we would talk on the phone at night for 1-3 hours. sometimes 4. But I have never been on the phone with someone for that long and not noticed or cared about how much time had passed. Okay so you probably get the point I liked her. Anyways we established an amazing frienship over the phone.

AFter about 3 months my school was out and I was able to go to my home and see her. She is going to school really close to my home. I was home for two weeks and we hung out everyday. We had a lot of fun together.

She would say stuff like she was falling for me, and that when I went back to school she didn't want me to date anyone else. We both liked each other a lot.

Over the two week break I met her parents, they loved me. Her dad who never likes any of the guys she dates said that I was a good humble guy, and that I was worth dating.

Well later on I met her parents at her home, and I wore my regular clothes. Which is basically skater attire. Anyways her parents don't like skater guys, say they are bad. And also I was supposed to go to this religious function with her dad, but I decided not to go cuz I wanted to hang with my girl. Cuz it was going to be another 3 months or more before I could see her again. School kept me busy. And she lived far away. The way I dressed and me not going to the church thing made her dad less interested in me. Actually they stopped liking me.

anyways Her parents not liking me started to eat away at her. I didn't know that, but it was.

After I got back to school she really wanted to see me and I wanted to see her. So I flew her out her to see me, she was going to pay me for half the ticket later when she got some cash. When she was here I was really stressed out cuz I had a difficult school schedule and lots of tests. So instead of being a good host and taking her out to see a lot of things, we chilled a lot. I don't know if that bothered her or not, but I should have taken her out to do more fun stuff. But I was stressed and I had my girl with me, so I needed to chill, and having her with me, what more could I have wanted at that time. Life was perfect.

So the last day she was here she tells me about her parents, and how that is a concern to her, and we can date still and see how things go. i overreacted (cuz I am not very good with long term relationships) and said that we will just end it. And I also said that she had better still pay me for half of her ticket. She said is that all you care about?! Huge mistake I know. It was all downhill form there. I took her to the airport after that, and it was a very sad time for both of us.

As time passed I realized how much she meant to me, this was still the same day. But I was busy studying for a test that I had to take the next day. we still texted a lil that night and talked a little. But the next day I was telling her that I had made a mistake and I wanted her back. Part of the reason I did the break up is cuz I wanted her to be comfortable with her parents first, and then we could date. But what I realized is that I could not be withour her. Selfish I know, but who can be without the one they love. I just didn't know it yet. Like I said, I have never felt like this before.

I told her that I didn't care about the money, that she should keep her money. That if I can't have her I don't want her money. And for a little bit it seemed like things were getting better. But she was not communicating with me like she used to. So instead of giving her space to think like she needed, I would always be trying to set things right.

Later on I would have my mom send her flowers from me which, got my ex upset cuz my mom was now involved. And she said that we were through after that.

Sorry this is really long. So we would have very minimal contact, and I would initiate all of it, and would get little or no response out of her.

Basically it has been 3 months since i last saw her and we talked. WE have never really talked about the events that transpired, but I miss this girl. I love her. I have tried multiple times to let her go. I have met other girls, but none of them seem as fun or pretty or as intersting as my girl. My baby girl.

But I have emailed her a couple times and texted her. I don't know what to do. I mean, I'm probably just going to have to let her go, cuz she won't talk to me. Cuz I guess she doesn't want to, and she has moved on. But I still love her. please help? thanks for reading and your time

[Raze]

Ok, you're not going to want to hear this but she has moved on, you are probably never going to get her back, and your holding back from pursuing another relationship because of you have this fairy tale laaadeeedaaaa view of her. Until you get rid of this fairy tale view, you are never going to find another relationship. Never ever ever ever. There are plenty of awesome women out there. I don't think you're trying hard enough to meet someone and I also think that you're reluctant to meet someone new. In my experience, there is always someone better out there. There is no person that is fated to be with you. You need to get fate out of the equation. You are so fixated on this fate idea that you're making yourself miserable. Have some respect for yourself and move on and be happy or spend your life in misery thinking about the past and what could have been. Focus on the present. The fact is presently, you're no longer together. The fact is that you're thinking about history and history doesn't change. You have choices and every choice has a consequence. Live for today and not for yesterday.

Here is a quote that I found that is really helpful:

"Today is a gift. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present." Best of luck!

[ShyGuy81]

It is always very hard to get over your first love, mine treated me like crap when looking back but at the time I loved her and no matter what my friends said I didn't want to hear it as I was in love.

Moving on is tough, as Raze said there are plenty of other women out there it is just meeting them and if you are still hung up on your ex then you will miss new opportunities that arise.

If you are comparing every other girl you are meeting to your ex who you see through rose-tinted glasses then you will not think they are as funny or as interesting. Maybe some of them aren't but you may not be giving them the chance as you are still fixate on your ex.

One thing I found that helped me when my ex dumped me was looking back over the relationship and the little things that she did that annoyed me that I let slide and the things that made me feel bad that I had done and thought to myself why did I do them.

It was a revelation as I realised that I put up with a lot and she was very selfish and it helped me get over the "I want her back stage" as I realised I didn't want her back.

She looks she has moved on and if she has then you are unlikely to get her back, take your own advice and let her go and then when you have managed to do that you will find the girls you are meeting that didn't seem as interest as you ex are but in a different way which is why they didn't interest you at the time. They are somebody different and are wonderful in their own way, it is up to you to find out what that is.

Lee