love vs. career

[norage]

my gf and i been together about a year now. i graduated a few months agofrom college and she is still in school. it has been about half long distance and now its long distance again.

more and more i have felt this relationship weigh down my career and its getting to a point where i don't want to choose between it, but it almsot seems that way. i care for her a lot and she cares for me too. we have something special (and all that cheesy blah blah blah). but seirously, this relationship has been a lot diffferent than any other ive been in.

i didnt get a chance to talk to her in the last two/three days and have focused tremendoulsy on my career. i am a starving artist. anyway, i finally got to talk to her last night and we ended up fighting over some stupid stuff. so unnessecary. anyway it made me realize that in the few days i didnt interact with her, i was phenomenaly productive. i accomplished more (career wise) than i did in the past three weeks i spent with her. it seems when im with her or talk with her on the phone etc, it jsut takes up soooo much time, money, energy, etc. maybe she is too needy? maybe i dont have enough money/time/energy to give? maybe i need to learn to balance it?? i just thought a good relationship would help you grow and stuff like that, but now its almost becomming a burden.

yes i do love her. we do have our ups and downs, but overall we are getting better and happy. yes i do love my career. and i will let nothing in my way to hinder it. so... well, i guess theres no real answer.. but any advice would be appreciated. thanks.

[Tone]

Love vs Career - I'll choose Love every day of the week.

I posted this in another thread:

...but one thing I never understood in situations like yours.. is you say she's so happy with you and loves you.. but I don't understand why anyone would go away like that? And leave that which they claim to be so fond of?

I understand for your career or whatnot.. but TO ME - none of that matters. A career, exploring the world.. if you don't have that special someone to share it with you. Isn't that what life is all about? I know, to me, that's what life is all about. Would I like to have a nice career? Sure. But would I leave the one I claim to adore so much to pursue it? Never in a million years.

When all is said in done - and it's my time to leave this life - I don't want to look back and only say I was successful in business or in my career - I'd much rather look back at the memories I share with my wife, and the family we raised, etc.

And in my experience - we don't get a whole lot of chances to meet those truely special people we REALLY connect with and form those bonds that no words can do justice to describe.. As in - I think it'd be much easier for you to find another job than to find another person you can connect with on that level and feel the way you do about.

[Asip4u]

Tone...with his beautiful words. I agree bro.

[funsounds]

i agree with Tone completely

[norage]

i have to say i completely agree...

BUT i am very young. well, 21. and .. especially in the field im in, job securing is tough. i dont think my gf will be too happy if in a few years im at mcdonalds or wendys or at best, manager at circuit city... when my colleagues have secured jobs which will allow them to buy her all the things she could ever want. trust me, love is love, but being able to drive a girl around in your car is a lot more attractive than take the public bus. yes, i know.. if you love someone it doesnt matter... but honestly doesnt it affect you, esp at this age??? maybe im just being insecure.

i guess my concern is that im not sure if i can handle this. and i guess its hard to understand, but unlike most careers. i chose art and it is and will always be my first love. i honeslty LOVE working and would rather be at work than at home. maybe if only i would of just studied business like my mom wanted hahaha.

should i talk to her (not my mom, my gf)? maybe i just need more space/time at this point in our relationship?? thanks tho for the advice.. i do appreciate it and totally understand.

[Tone]

I'd rather take the bus with my girlfriend than drive my fancy sports car around by myself.

Is this the ONLY art job in the whole wide world? Why would you be at McDonalds or Wendys in a few years? It shouldn't matter to her. What should matter is you chose her over a job.

[Lloyd95]

I'd rather take the bus with my girlfriend than drive my fancy sports car around by myself.

Easy there; you must be high.

[Lloyd95]

i am a starving artist.

What, no restaurants you can work in where she lives?

[norage]

haha lloyd..
ya i guess im trying NOT to work in a resturant.. so the dilema.

and tone, i understand what you are saying, but thats a very ideal way of thinking. unfortunatley the world doesnt work in an ideal way and there is that grey area. its like that movie indecent proposal where the dude offers the other guy a million bucks for a night with his wife. hahahaha, what am i talking about. this reminds me of mallrats where stan lee says "id give all up for one more chance with that girl" and p.diddy/usher song "i need a girl" where they say theyd give up their fortunes to be with a one true love. okay.. as you can see, this is driving me insane. haha

[Lloyd95]

norage:

[URL=http://imageshack.us][/URL]

[norage]

i love how my plea for help/advice turns into a reuniting of friends. hey, at least some people are happy.

[Rosebud]

Some people on here had already offered advice and while I didn't think I could offer anymore that someone hadn't said already I decieded to say hi to a friend. And Relax, Just because I say hi to someone first doesn't mean I'm going to ignore your post. No need, to get anxious about it

Anyhow, You just have to figure out what you want more, and once you figure that out, discuss it with your girlfriend.

[Cybog]

At least now the 2 of you will understand why your posts were deleted.

Crap like this is exactly the kind of banter that needs to be in P.M.s and not in someone else's thread.