Emotional Abusive Relationship (help!)

[WanderingAuthor]

Hello everyone,

I have posted in this forum in the past (around 4 months ago) and have decided to revisit to request some advice/help for those that have been in the same situation that I am currently going through.

Simply put : I have recently deemed myself (by a good friend) that I am in an emotionally abusive relationship.

Not-so-simply put :
My girlfriend and I are currently just passed the one year marker of our relationship. Things on the outside seem great: we appear happy, contented and loving toward each other. On the inside? I am being controlled and am the victim of abuse.

Case and point; my parents have invited me to spend a three day trip with them to Las Vegas (I'm currently 21) and I had told them I would. When my girlfriend found out about this excursion, and the fact that she would not be joining me, she was more than a little irritated. I eventually told her that I didn't want to go, to end a potentially nasty fight. Bad idea, I know, but allow me to explain.

She undermines my self-esteem on a regular basis, I am expected to attend all of the things that she wants to do without any reciprocation, I feel like I have to walk on emotional eggshells with her to please her and avoid conflict, I feel trapped in a relationship. I want to tell her how I feel, but it seems that the storm that would ensue would be too much for the relationship to bear.

I don't think it's too much to ask that I take this trip with my family, especially considering I haven't spent any quality time with them alone for several (around 6 or more) months.

If anyone is willing to give me advice, please do so! I am at the brink here and am in need of some outside assistance!

Thanks,
Wandering Author

[Bumble_bee]

unless you like being her puupy on a leash.....
go on the trip with your parents...whatever her reaction, if you do not set boundaries as to what is and isn't acceptable in your relationship, she will continue to expect that you revolve all of your plans around her. If you cancel your plans yet again, you are just telling her that with a little bit of yell/stamping her feet around she gets what she wants, at your expense.....

[Mish]

It sounds like she holds the reins on your relationship with her. What does she do if you don't do her bidding? Does she threaten to leave you? I think you need to take back some control so you are on an equal footing if you don't want to continue losing your self esteem.

[girl68]

*whooooopaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa*

If you don't go (to vegas) I have lost all respect for what little manhood you are currently holding onto.

[WanderingAuthor]

Thank you all for the harsh (but needed) criticism

Yeah, I already sort of figured that was the best course of action...I just wanted some outside opinion on the matter. Does anyone think I should talk to her about the issue in general as well?

[smitty]

yeah....after you go to vegas.