What does "taking it slow" mean to you?

[takingitslow]

I've been dating this awesome girl for 1 month. I can't say anything bad about her. I am the happiest I've been in a long time. I am 21 and she is the same age. We're taking it slow, because of past relationships on her part which she says she was hurt a lot. I don't really know how to take it slow. I don't even know what it means really. I've usually gone all the way with girls at this point. But she's different, and we really bond so I don't have issues taking it slow. That doesn't bother me. I just want to understand it better.


What does taking it slow mean?

My definition would be no sex until at least a few months have gone by.

Am I missing anything I should know?

I don't want to do anything that would scare her away.

When do I start letting my hands flow when we make out? Basically I just caress her face and hold her by the hips. When is it ok for me to rest my hand on her lower back/ass area? She's got amazing, long athletic legs that I want to touch all over, but I don't want to scare her off. Same goes for second base.

I may sound like I'm trying to just get laid in this post, and I am. But she's got a personality that just goes so well with mine and I can see this lasting a while. I just don't want to do anything that will scare her away. I'm trying not to let my manhood instincts interfere with the possibility of a great relationship.

[Chupacabras]

No anal 'til the fourth date.




But seriously, I don't "take it slow" either. In my highly unscientific research on the subject, three months seems to be right around the time frame for takin' it slow women. For some mystical reason, this is how long they feel it takes to be able to think clearly about what's really going on with the relationship.

[Gigabitch]

I think she's just looking to trust you completely before she gets into bed with you. There isn't really a time frame on that. It's probably about quality rather than quantity, you know?

Does she ever initiate physical affection with you?

[Doc Durian]

Taking it slow, to me, means that you shouldn't directly touch her in any genital region unless she initiates or hints at it.

So anything else should be ok.

Just go with the flow.

If she does spur you into a touch somewhere, it isn't necessarily a green light to do the deed either.... unless she hints or initiates.

Alternately, if this happens... you could state that you want to take it slow. This would put her in your shoes up until that point.

Works both ways.

[takingitslow]

I think she's just looking to trust you completely before she gets into bed with you. There isn't really a time frame on that. It's probably about quality rather than quantity, you know?

Does she ever initiate physical affection with you?

she will surprise me with a kiss on the cheek or neck. random hugs.

[Gigabitch]

That's a good sign. Is she a good kisser? Do you get the feeling that she will be into it when you finally get there?

[Emesis]

I can give you the politically correct answer or the no-bullshit answer. Which would you like?

[Doc Durian]

Is this the point where someone says "when a chick says slow, she means fast" or "the girl isn't into you and will get her gear off immediately for another guy"?

[Gigabitch]

Jeeze, I hope not.

[Emesis]

Is this the point where someone says "when a chick says slow, she means fast" or "the girl isn't into you and will get her gear off immediately for another guy"?

Nooo Charles! Get outta my head!

[takingitslow]

That's a good sign. Is she a good kisser? Do you get the feeling that she will be into it when you finally get there?

GREAT kisser. I get that feeling in my pants from a kiss. It's great.

I can give you the politically correct answer or the no-bullshit answer. Which would you like?

your honest opinion

[Gigabitch]

GREAT kisser. I get that feeling in my pants from a kiss. It's great.

Worth waiting for, then. Do you know any details about how she got hurt? Was she used? Dumped?

[Emesis]

your honest opinion

"Taking it slow" is mostly something girls just say - kind of like how they use the L word more freely than guys. While she may genuinely feel what she says, I wouldn't place much importance on it. Satisfy her emotional needs and escalate the sexual tension, and I guarantee she will cave in sooner than you think.

[all alone]

time is relative therefore there is no correct answer but her own. (deep, i know i tired..)

[takingitslow]

Worth waiting for, then. Do you know any details about how she got hurt? Was she used? Dumped?

I never asked. Should I?