Relationship - Sex advice

[561121]

Hi,

I'm new to this forum and I'm just after some advise and a different point of view on my situation.

I've been with my girlfriend for over two years now, both 21 - now, a little different to usual but at first we didn't really go through the sex every day / week honey moon period. We've never been through that. We're very happy together and have a good laugh! Everything on the outside seems great.

My real problem is the barrier with sex, we've had sex sub 10 times in over 2 years, i've been quite laid back and given lots of time to see what happens. I'm at a stage now where i really crave for this interaction with my girlfriend.

I initiate foreplay and try to get her in the mood, she doesn't get wet like she use to i've noticed.

Theres a clear barrier when it comes to me going down low with my hands and she'll pull me away 99% time saying "i don't like that"
I'm unsure what she means and she will not explain why, it use to be something she really enjoyed. I just don't understand.

Ask any questions that will help to provide me with some answers.

Be great to have someone elses opinion

[prettygirl]

I can't relate with this yet, I haven't tried doing sex before but I'm much exited now. I'm looking forward for more replies of your post.

[Boisdevie]

She has no interest in having sex with you. So either:
1. Leave her and find somebody who wants a normal sex life.
2. Really work on that masturbation technique.

[searock]

Was she abused as a kid? Raised in the belief that "sex is evil" or something? Because it sounds like she has issues in that department. I can't see how she would want to stay together with a guy whom she just doesn't want to have sex with otherwise. Talk to her clearly, tell her that sex is an important part of any healthy relationship and that you want to be in a healthy relationship, so you can either work this out together if she is willing to (suggest a sex therapist if she agrees but doesn't know what to do), or you need to move on and find someone more compatible.

[Kat27]

Has she put on weight? Perhaps she doesn't feel confident in herself anymore.

[Boisdevie]

Has she put on weight? Perhaps she doesn't feel confident in herself anymore.

If you bother to read the OP he's clearly stated that sex was never that frequent even at the beginning. She's probably always been frigid.

[Angellic]

For whatever reason, she doesn't like sex. Whether that is sex period, or she doesn't fancy you is unclear, but you aren't getting anywhere, so maybe you should just be friends rather than lovers and find some other girl to have sex with.

[561121]

I guess I need to talk to her about it.

How would I initiate such a conversation?

[nocluewhattodo]

some men are too heavy handed with their fingers down there, also most men really havent got clue what to do with their fingers when they get down there and a lot of women just dont like it, try your tongue instead, only use your tongue in the right place too

[Indie2012]

Were you her first and have you ever made her orgasm? Maybe the first few times you had sex, it hurt more then it pleased her and now she's scarred. That kind of thing can result in a mental barrier being put up which prevents her from getting wet. You need to help her relax more to get her 'in the mood' - watch a movie together and give her some wine; make sure the movie has a few good sex scenes in it, and hold her close to you so she feels your body against her - don't be too sexual though. If she responds, go slow at first, and be gentle. I agree with 'nucluewhattodo' above - a lot of guys really have no idea what they are doing down there with their fingers, so be overly gentle - if you're gentle and she want's it harder, she'll let you know, but if you're too ruff, she'll just pull away. Also, little tip, moisten your fingers first, especially if you're a tradesman!!

[Boisdevie]

only use your tongue in the right place too

What like in the supermarket? Seriously the guy has already said she's not interested in sex. Do you really think this will help?

[Boisdevie]

Also, little tip, moisten your fingers first, especially if you're a tradesman!!

Do tradesmen have especially dry fingers then?

[jetta86s]

Can you confirm that shes not crazy about sex? Coz if so, then I guess you are just over thinking. Also pick the right timing when initiating. Usually a week after and before period girls are less active and dry.