What's changed with him?

[museangel]

Hi All,

You probably get a thousand of these kind of situations but I'd like a straight up and honest opinion.

I've started to see/date this guy since November 09. Everything is there from the humor, same music, we can predict what the other's going to say etc etc. On his second date, I met his mum - he lives with her atm so it wasn't an issue. He didn't push me to sleep with him and he treated me well. Forward wind 3 months and he 'jokes' about having a 3some (I'm bisexual and made the mistake of admitting this and having one before). I went ballistic and told him to stop going on about it "either drop it or drop me". 2 days later, he said he was joking "however there is going to be the problem that if there isn't certain jobs by the time I finish uni, I will be moving abroad, therefore I don't want things to get serious and then have to have that happen. What do you think?" I mused over this, knowing he wanted to go abroad for a few months and told him I knew that and I wouldn't stop him. He said “cool. I’m enjoying things, I just didn’t want false expectations”.

But after 'taking him back', I just felt more angry and didn't bother texting/calling him for over 2 weeks. He'd text but I'd delete. He'd call and I'd ignore. Then he text me on my birthday "happy birthday missis" (what's with the missis, he's been doing that since December). I ignored him, still angry over the 3some. In the end I got hammered on my birthday and rang him - yes, mature. He said he "didn't mean it". That he was worried as he hadn't heard from me for almost three weeks and he was waiting for me to get back to him. I just said I'd been busy. So anyway, he keeps asking when am I going to see him again. I'm elusive and don't say when.
After 6 weeks of my silence, him still asking me if I’m okay, when am I coming round (in between, my parents decided to file for divorce and I was in hospital), my sister told me to stop being angry. I was misreable without him. So I rang him and after 10mins chatting and feeling it had been 2days not 6 weeks, he asked me when am I coming to see him. I said it could be in 2 days but he's babysitting his newborn neice and we can re-arrange. He insisted that I come so I could meet the baby, see his mum, the dog (yes, he said that). So I see him and his mother is so pleased to see me, she tells me how he's been excited to see me, that I shouldn't leave my next visit for too long...in one room there was me, his mother, his sister and his niece - and he's very close to them. The next morning he's telling me that I shouldn't be 'afraid' to tell him when I want to see him because I'm busier out of the two of us, that if I want to do anything just to say and that if I need to ever talk about anything that I can call him anytime. He brought up summer and me being here more after his uni is finished...and how I need to rest more after my recent seizure.

I don't get it. I know he's busy and so am I. I give him plenty of space, I support everything he wants - from his band being a success to his travel plan in the summer. He reciprocates the support with my studies, working etc.

I will point out his affection wasn't any heavier - he's very touchy-feely anyway. He wanted to celebrate my birthday 4 weeks after (why?) he cooked me my fave food, had my fave films to watch. He (as usual) made breakfast in the morning, put my favourite songs on to wake me up.

Has anything changed for him? I'd like us to be serious but I'm very apprehensive. We haven't had the Talk (I avoid them, I don’t like ‘exposure’), however he did ask me if I was seeing anyone else back in Jan and to his delight I said no. I know he's not seeing anyone else. Everything is pretty much perfect, I couldn't wish for a better guy if I'm honest, but I won't let myself be screwed by him if I'm a summer fling and nothing more. He hasn't mentioned moving abroad since, just focusing on the band, going to China (he told me about China on date one) and being around for his fatherless niece. He didn’t mention me but I’m not conceited enough to ‘expect’ to be mentioned.

Sorry for rambling...I'm just confused, worried and don't want to get in too deep if his heart isn't in it and it was a case of bruised ego and wanting his cake & eating it!

Musey

[Gigabitch]

Oh, for God's sake. You've treated him abominably and he still makes you breakfast? What the hell are you complaining about? All you have to do is TALK to this guy and tell him what you want. I can't believe you flipped out like that over the threesome suggestion. It's perfectly harmless.