To dump or not to dump

[mahotmama]

I've been with my boyfriend for about 2 years now. I'm 29 going on 30 so the clock's been ticking ever more loudly. He's really good to me and we have fun together and have many common interests. The big thing which really bugs me out is that he hasn't had a real job in the 2 years I've been dating him. I consider myself to be pretty ambitious academically and careerwise and have always been financially independent. This guy is 33 going on 34, doesn't have any savings (as far as I can tell), lives with his parents, and doesn't seem to have any real ambition to find another job.

To his credit, he does always pay for me when we goes out and he has a sort of temp job he got through a family friend that allows him to make ends meet, but it's pretty much a dead end job. I'm just wondering if I can have a future with a guy like this - seemingly mr right, but no ambitions and no $$ potential.

I broke up with him once last year for the same reasons stated, only to ask him back b/c I thought that what we shared was more important than his lifestyle choices. But now that same issue is killing me again. I find myself feeling less passionate about him and thinking about my ex (who was more ambitious) as a result. At the rate I'm going, I'm afraid I might cheat on him. Help! what should I do??

[cycletease]

Only you can decide if you can live with who he is. Many women out there find happiness with a house husband. Since this has been a continuing issue it doesn't sound like you are one of these women.

Your guy is very unlikely to change. No matter how much you want him to get his act together, what you see is what you get. You can either leave him or accept the way that he is.

I wish that it was simpler. I spent 7 years hoping my ex would get his act together. I left him 5 years ago and he still doesn't. Some things just don't change.

[mahotmama]

Only you can decide if you can live with who he is. Many women out there find happiness with a house husband. Since this has been a continuing issue it doesn't sound like you are one of these women.

Your guy is very unlikely to change. No matter how much you want him to get his act together, what you see is what you get. You can either leave him or accept the way that he is.

I wish that it was simpler. I spent 7 years hoping my ex would get his act together. I left him 5 years ago and he still doesn't. Some things just don't change.

hey cycletease, thanks so much for your advice. yeah, you're right. he ain't ever gonna change. i just gotta figure out if i can live with his flaws or not. i'm thinking of taking some "time off". i'm having "the talk" with him tomorrow so we'll see how it goes!

[cycletease]

Good thinking.

It is a hard call when you really care about a person. But don't sell yourself short. If you cannot truly accept these things about him you will never be happy in the relationship.

Good luck!