Another sad morning

[OmnicronPercei8]

I realized yesterday that while no contact is awesome for the people who can have that opportunity still seeing your ex's face is a major set back. Working with my ex has proven to be difficult in getting over her, but it's happening slowly...

We haven't been completely NC of course as she has sent me emails and I have responded but after my conversation with her the other day I don't think she'll be sending me anything else. My problem though lies in the fact that it's a luxury of going no contact or even if you still get baited in by the texts, emails, phone calls, etc, you still don't have to see the other person.

We had a staff meeting yesterday and try as I could to "ignore" her in the room (which was like trying to ignore a 10 ton elephant in the room) I glanced over at her from time to time and found her looking at me. But I could see all the love was gone from her face and the way she looked at me. Not even a past love. She just looked at me like I was a stranger and that sucks. I envy anyone here who could afford themselves a clean break from having to see the metamorphosis of a look filled with true love to nothing.

[Wakeup]

It takes time to come to the stage of indifference. By not being in contact (other than when neccessary due to work obligations) soon enough you will reach that stage. It's like giving up anything that has been a habit, cigarette smoking say. You have to give your body a chance to withdrawl from the nicotine then once that's out of your system one has to work on the psychological (the most difficult part of weaning) aspect until they don't consume our thoughts. We have to train our brain to re-direct the focus off the cigarette and onto something else entirely. Run, walk, jog, go to the gym, ride a bike. Do anything that will get your feel good endorphins pumping.

Hang tuff, you're doing fine. Just practice not dwelling on the melancholy. ;o)

[OmnicronPercei8]

As always, thank you Wakeup. I know on the outside it seems like I'm hanging tough, but inside, at certain points of the day anyway I just feel dead inside. I am not, repeat NOT suicidal, but i find my mind hoping that I'd get blindsided by a semi on my way home just to end this feeling that I have inside me. I know it will one day be fine, but right now in the midst of my suffering, I can't see that light outside of the tunnel yet. I have really felt at times that I hate my life.

The evenings are much better than my days. After I leave work I can preoccupy my mind with going for long runs, cleaning, or doing other work around the house. School has started back up this week so I can focus my mind on studying and I'm also thinking about buying a new bicycle to get me out of the house more. Finally, I'm looking into some volunteering aspects in my local community.

[Lifetime]

I can't imagine having to see my ex every day at work, I almost break down when she drives by me in her car. That must be rough.

[Wakeup]

As always, thank you Wakeup. I know on the outside it seems like I'm hanging tough, but inside, at certain points of the day anyway I just feel dead inside. I am not, repeat NOT suicidal, but i find my mind hoping that I'd get blindsided by a semi on my way home just to end this feeling that I have inside me. I know it will one day be fine, but right now in the midst of my suffering, I can't see that light outside of the tunnel yet. I have really felt at times that I hate my life.

The evenings are much better than my days. After I leave work I can preoccupy my mind with going for long runs, cleaning, or doing other work around the house. School has started back up this week so I can focus my mind on studying and I'm also thinking about buying a new bicycle to get me out of the house more. Finally, I'm looking into some volunteering aspects in my local community.

Good for you, you're dong everything right. It's a process, not an event so be patient with yourself and stay busy like you're doing.
Cheers.

[ladyl]

I also work with my ex and it's so tough. We broke up a couple of weeks ago and I've been doing no contact and avoiding the office he works in. But yesterday I had to go to his office for a meeting so I even sat on a different floor but he was down for a meeting and walked passed me. It was awful I actually felt sick and he just looked away from me.

[Cerby]

I am also in the "work with ex" boat, mine actually winked at me when I walked by her the other day. . .seriously wtf.

A setback yes, but it will not stop me from moving on. I'm safely at the point when I can exist without her. 3 weeks of NC is what it took, 3 more weeks and she'll just be another girl in the office.

[OmnicronPercei8]

Mine doesn't wink at me (seriously Cerby, WTF is up with that crap?) but we act cordial enough when we pass sharing a smile but never a hello. She knows I'm trying to find another job as it was something I was looking for when we were together and she emailed me yesterday to ask about it. I kept it short and to the point and ended up making a joke at the end which she laughed at. I then made another joke and then she laughed at that. Finally I made one final joke which was an inside joke we shared and she commented back that as long as she remembers that she'll keep giggling. I know that I am not doing well with the NC thing (about ever 2 days or so she will email about something and I respond ugh) but at the time I receive great elation just out of having a light emailed conversation with her. It's superficial and no substance but I feel so much better for a while. Things sink back in, each time quicker than before, and I am left in my gloomy state of abandonment yet once again.

My problem with the whole thing is I just can't get out of my head the "what if" factor. We've both admitted to the fact that our relationship was doomed due to the circumstances of our timing and not so much on how we click together (our chemistry is amazing - yet slightly volatile). I keep thinking that when I find another job and get out of school then there's going to be a possibility down the road. I know it's foolish and it's keeping me from moving on, but the thought persists, if only for brief moments before I mentally smack myself out of it.

[ladyl]

Right there with you. For us it was a case of both been hurt before and bad timing, the chemostry everything else was so right. I'm also hoping that maybe one day.............

[confusius]

It's REALLY hard to go no contact with an ex you see everyday. I lived with mine for 2 months after the breakup so I never went no contact until two months ago when school was out. Two miserable months of my life. I don't wish that to anybody; not even my enemies.

[irishgerry]

It gets easier, I work with mine and can go a week without seeing her or bump in to her. Just say hi and be professional and trust me you will feel better in no time. Plus people cant just tune off, the ideas everyone have of them not thinking about us and dont care anymore isnt true. They do care about us, they are just doing what we should be doing and acting like they dont care so we dont have to see them hurting.