Can this relationship work?

[AdamGeller]

I'm jewish guy who goes to college, while studying in college i met this girl which i after a while fell in love with and we started going out and stuff. The thing is she's muslim, that makes me wonder if this relationship is something which can last or of if inevitably will fail due to family reasons or some kind of cultural difference, neither me nor she is practicing our different religions as much but it's different with our families. My family takes Judaism very seriosly and if they found out that i'm dating a muslim girl they would be pretty schocked to say the least, her family is also a pretty hard core muslim family and they will propblably react even worse than my family, this is why i have these huge doubts about this relationship because if both our families are against the relationship then i don't really know what to do, i really like this girl and she likes me but it makes you wonder really.

What do you guys/girls think i should do? Any advice? Can this relationship work or is it doomed to fail?

Sure we could just ignore our families wishes but that's not somethings we would like to do obviously.

[mrkleen]

If you are both devout in your religion – this cant work. Do yourself a favor and get out before you get too attached. If you do it quickly, you may even be able to salvage a friendship down the road.

[AdamGeller]

Yeah but the thing is neither of us are devout in our religion, she doesn't even wear the traditional muslim scarf. It's our families who are more devout but iit would be a big let down if our families will be the obstacle when the two of us love eachother.

[mrkleen]

Well, life is about what makes YOU happy….not your family. But if you are close with them, this will be really hard.

College relationships rarely last long term anyway….so why not just have fun with her and see what happens.

If it gets serious, and your parents really love you – they will accept her.

[vashti]

I'm Jewish too.... I suggest you think this through.

Although it is easy to say you don't care what your family thinks, should the two of you eventually marry and have kids, you WILL care that the families aren't around much, or that they embrace other children more readily.

Also, even though it's one thing to have no religious issues when you are young and non-practicing, people tend to embrace their religious traditions when they have kids... (I mean, why do you think so many kids go to Hebrew School, anyway?)

I guess what I am trying to say is that the way you feel about religious practice and family involvement may not matter much now, but your feelings about that are likely to change over time.

[Gigabitch]

Remember Romeo and Juliet? I don't see you ending up any better.

Yes, it's romantic, but I don't think it can work long-term.

[AdamGeller]

I'm Jewish too.... I suggest you think this through.

Although it is easy to say you don't care what your family thinks, should the two of you eventually marry and have kids, you WILL care that the families aren't around much, or that they embrace other children more readily.

Also, even though it's one thing to have no religious issues when you are young and non-practicing, people tend to embrace their religious traditions when they have kids... (I mean, why do you think so many kids go to Hebrew School, anyway?)

I guess what I am trying to say is that the way you feel about religious practice and family involvement may not matter much now, but your feelings about that are likely to change over time.

Yeah i like practise Judaism sometimes and i celebrate all the holidays and such, but it's not often i go to the Synagogue and stuff like that, same with her and Islam.

I will of course not give up my family, i have to respect them and their wishes, but hopefully they can ccept me being with this girl, as the other guy here said college relationship usually don't last so it's a pretty big chanse that nothing will come out of this relationship in the future, even if i right now hope it will.

[vashti]

If all you are interested in is dating, then I don't see any problems at all. There won't be any real issues until either you get married/have kids, or you try to make her eat gefilte fish.

Unless you try discussing middle eastern politics, anyway.