dont understand

[stillwaiting07]

My boyfriend and I haven't been dating very long, its been 2 months. I know thats NOT long AT ALL... but heres the thing, we both know that we want to be with each other. We instantly had this connection when we first met. We have a 2 hr distance between us, but we see each other every weekend. Since we are so busy with school, and work during the day.

Know, hes one of those, I dont let you know my emotions kind of a guy. He's grumpy a lot of the time, but its nothing towards me. His job puts a lot of stress on him, since hes on call 24/7.

3 days ago, He told me he needed some time and some space. It came out of nowhere. I dont understand at all. Everything was going so perfect, we said I love you, and talked about moving in with each other at the end of this year.

He told me he didnt lie about any feelings, and if i want this to work give him the time that he needs, he said he wont be talking to any other girls, and that he loves me, and will miss me. I had got him a gift, and asked him what I should do with it, he said to keep it till I see him again.

When I asked why this was happening, he told me that there are some things that he needs to work on that he didnt think would get in the way, but are.. and he has to work on them before he can dive off too deep into this relationship. he said it was personal, and something that he is not strong in that department. I didnt aske for any information about it, because I dont need to know, if its that important to him. He told me that He doesnt know how long this break is, it would be untill he got this issue settled...


Now I believe him, because for the few days before this, I could really tell that something was bothering him. He was short, but he was really trying to show me that he loves me. I'm giving him the time and space that he needs, even though this hurts me, and is so hard. I want things to work. My heart literally aches for him right now.

I gave in yesterday and sent him one message, I got scared, and let my mind start wondering.. I asked if he really did love me and want this to work? He said "yes I do." then I said "really, are you 100% sure? He said yes...

He also told me not to worry that he would text every now and then.... but its been 3 days, I dont want him to forget about me.

Now my question is..... If he loves me so much why hasn't he texted or called to check on me, or let me know anything.. I just long to talk to him, not even about the break, or anything. Just to tell him Hello, and good night, and I miss him. Its killing me.

Our relationship hasnt been long, but its not like a relationship that I've ever had before, my feelings for him are strong, and honest.

[smackie9]

It could be one of two things. Some guys find a relationship too emotionally draining, so in order to focus on whatever it is, he has to break away from it. OR he is still emotionally tied to another relationship. If it's a personal issue it must be pretty serious, so you best to back off. It would also be best to stop torturing yourself over this and move on with your life. Hanging on will only drive you crazy. Relationships are not forever, they will come and go. You will have more after this, they will end, and a new one will start. It's normal, and it prepares us for marriage.

[smackie9]

btw how old are you two?

[stillwaiting07]

Yeah, I actually talked to him today. He reassured me that he loves me, and that hes not trying to push me away ( even though it is) and that we will see each other soon. So Idk what to think really.


and we are in our 20's. I'm 21, hes 22.

[smackie9]

Give it a couple of weeks. If nothing improves, end it.

[stillwaiting07]

Yep thats what im going to do. All this is doing is pushing me away and making me angry towrards him.

[bulrush]

Yep thats what im going to do. All this is doing is pushing me away and making me angry towrards him.

Most men are not comfortable with emotions. And I mean about 90% of men are like that. They are not women, they don't act like women, they are not wired like women, for the most part.

I happen to be a man who is very comfortable with emotions, expressing my own emotions, and listening to my girlfriend's emotions. And there are a few other (straight) men like me out there, but they are REALLY rare. If that is what you want, send me a PM and I will offer some insight privately. Yes, I happen to be straight, and I have orange smelling soap. So what? I like it. The soap, that is. I'm not geeky either. I lift weights, go hiking, catch snakes with my bare hands, go biking, have campfires, etc. I am strong, confident, and assertive. That's just who I am.

[stillwaiting07]

I can understand where he may not be comfortable with emotions. I just dont see why he would be leading me on, why cant he just be straight up with me. He will tell me "yes I want this to work." but then I wont hear anything from him. All this is doing is pushing me away from him, and making me have anger towards him.


Is that want he wants?

[lindalinda]

Talk with men about Feeeeeellllllinnnnnng? Stop sabotage yourself and use ACTION instead!

I can understand where he may not be comfortable with emotions. I just dont see why he would be leading me on, why cant he just be straight up with me. He will tell me "yes I want this to work." but then I wont hear anything from him. All this is doing is pushing me away from him, and making me have anger towards him.


Is that want he wants?