Trying...
Hi, I've had some great words of support from the LF in the last couple of weeks - for this I thank everybody.
I've had some good times over the last couple of weeks, where I've not thought about the woman I'm having to fall out of love with, however it is that we tell our hearts not to do what it's been doing for so long.
I've equally had some very bad times, remembering the good things we had and how these can be no more, missing her being here, having to come home to the house we shared for so long, having to walk the puppy on my own and missing her great smile.
I haven't been happy with either the person i'd become and equally the person my ex had become over the last few months. I've looked within myself about how much of this i've contributed towards, but after toing and froing, have come to realise it's not going to make anything change. All i can do is look at realising those things I've learnt over the last four and a half years - put right the things I know I am better at and strengthen my spirit knowing that the things I do well, are done really well.
I guess I'm still in stage one, feeling grief at what i've lost from my life, knowing that one day after time has passed that i will need to feel all the other emotions needed of me to heal my heart.
I was out in town last night with a guy from my work, having a change of scenery from the places I would go with my ex. Having said that we ended up in at least a couple of the pubs we'd have gone to in the past, but then last night I ended up going to ten or twelve of them. I made it home some how, struggled alot to get my key in the door, got to bed some how and didn't get out of it till late this afternoon, still feeling very pi**ed.
Going out last night took my mind off what's happened over the last couple of weeks, but today i've felt melancholy about it all again.
I'm holding my resolve, letting out what needs to be let out when it's needed and remembering that tomorrow is another day, which will only bring less hurt and sadness, but with a quiver in my heart and and a lessening hang-over, can I get some more kind words from all the great ppl in the LF
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.
A sad thing in life is that sometimes you meet someone who means a lot to you only to find out in the end that it was never bound to be and you just have to let go.
Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.