irst "sexual" experience (didn't even realize this shit was possible...)

[deeb]

Wow guys, I'm feeling like CRAP today...feel free to try to make me feel better, or to make fun of me. Anyway, here it goes:

Last night I met up with a friend of mine who I had been flirting on and off with for the last year. We started getting into a heated make-out session and then she started taking her and my clothes off so we could do the "big dirty thang." This was GOING to be my first time, so naturally I was a bit nervous, but I never believed that I would have one of those "first time anxiety" things that I constantly hear about. I get it up pretty quickly (oh what the **** - it was practically up the whole time, this girl is friggin' CUTE) and get my condom on. I turn off the lights, lean in for a few more kisses and then put her legs over mine. I do a quick "finger search" for the hole and then go for the kill...

Then - cock blocked!

What the ****? I can't seem to get my dick inside...so, I do another "finger search" and then try again. Blocked?

I don't get it. I play around more with my fingers, it seems kind of "tight," but this girl has had sex with other guys before and my dick is by NO MEANS big. She takes off the condom. Begins stroking me, licking it, stroking and then says "its not hard enough." I let her stroke a little more, and than say, "okay, i think it's good." This thing has TAKEN OFF. It's UP and as hard as it usually gets, I simply don't understand how it couldn't be hard enough to get in. I try again, and again, and it keeps getting blocked, or pushed in other directions. After several more tries, I give up. But I don't understand whats wrong with me. It can't possible be too weak to get in. It just doesn't make sense - I've watched plenty of porn and my dick looked just as normal and hard as any other. Let me also say that it's not that I "couldn't find the hole." She was trying too and it just wasn't working. My only guesses are it was too dark in the room to plan out the proper physics or I just wasn't pushing hard enough.

WTF?

[NeoSeminole]

ha ha ha, you're pretty dumb. Your first time having sex and you turn off the lights so you can't see what's going on? I can just imagine now.

"How was your first time?"

"I dunno. I couldn't see shit."

[Gigabitch]

Lubed condoms are your friend. Aquaint yourself with them. She was too dry.

[anachronistic]

She was too dry, you were too soft. Not only that, but your being nervous turned you off.

[Tiay]

you know those diagrams of the vagina? they're wrong; it is not this big hollow tunnel all the time. Only when she's aroused enough will it expand and the cervix will move and shit like that. foreplay, foreplay, foreplay!

[Gribble]

Want to make sure this never happens again? Pay a visit down south, if you catch my drift. Nothing gets 'em ready quicker.

[Gigabitch]

...and since you don't know what you're doing.... remember to be gentle. It's pretty sensitive.

[Charlie Boy]

Just pour half a bottle of lube on your dick next time. There'll be no stopping you. She could be as dry as your grandma and it'd still be like a kid down a slip 'n slide.

[Junket]

Hahaha, "I watched plenty of porn..."

[The Great OV!!!]

deeb as a child:






Wait!?!?! wtf do you mean you quit?!?!

[clynn]

Uh oh! She wasn't ready.

Just because she had sex before, doesn't mean she'd be all wet and ready to go. Read up on foreplay. Can take a while to get a girl ready...

[The Great OV!!!]

Can take a while to get a girl ready...

Not unless I am at work

[elNatural]

ur gonna have to relax, and yes for her sake dont try to put anything in there until u can put ur fingers down there and they come out completly soaked or her fluids are drippin down ur chin. grab some Trojan: Ultra Thin condoms cause they dont take away the feeling as much as the others and come with a lil bit of lube too just for extra goodness. if u get her soaking wet shes gonna want to put it in herself if u have any trouble so just work on turnin her on and ur good to go!