Hi,

(quite a long story, quite sad sometimes but is what it is)

I'm in my second year at Leeds University (originally from down south)

I met my boyfriend George during our first year at Uni, When I first met him , he was such a laugh, so much energy, everyone felt good when he was around, we got along great and that's how our relationship started. Nothing serious to start with, just fooling around - it was a bit more than friends sort of thing

University ended for the summer break, he spent his summer in the south of France with some of his french cousins. I got back with my ex-boyfriend and I forgot about George

But after we got back to Uni and I saw him, I realized how much I'd missed him, we slept together, and I'd never felt so strongly for someone, just complete love

Over the first weeks back we got settled into the uni life, studying, sports and partying - on the side George often did the plumbing and electrical on property developments for his uncle. We eventually moved into one of his Uncle's properties last year and things seemed really good.

He'd usually get in late and that was my favorite time, when were just together alone, however, over the past few weeks he started getting these phone calls in the middle of the night, he'd answer and speak in french, the calls would often last over an hour after which, he's get in his car and come back early morning, just cold, often with bruises on his body - whenever I asked him where or why he goes out in the middle of the night he made excuses like he was fixing cars (he often fixed cars for his friend at his friends garage) but I didn't believe him, and when I probed him even further, he just said he didn't want to talk about it and shut me out, changing the subject or going somewhere

It got me a bit paranoid and I had to speak to everyone at Uni, thinking it was another girl or something

However, one night he drove out into the countryside one night and got out and collapsed by a bridge - a couple had found him unconscious and he ending up in Leeds A and E, cut, bruised and passed out - I was contacted early morning by the police but he discharged himself and came home like nothing had happened (when I asked him about why he was in such a state he just said I'm okay - forget about it.

Then one weekend, some of his friends from back home (Kent) came up, I got introduced and we had a really great party

But I got talking to one of his best mates - he was really sincere and asked me about George and how he was doing, I confessed about the late night phone calls and walkabouts, he looked at me quite deeply and asked if I'd seen George's tattoo and scar

George has got this tattoo on his left side , just on the line of quite a bad scar saying Tom with a ring symbol around it, I never thought much about it and When i first asked him about it he said it was one of his friends from back home, a joke type thing - nothing serious

But his friend told me about it - because George wasn't going to ever talk about it. The tattoo represented his elder twin brother Tom. In the summer a few
weeks before he started University, George's brother Tom was driving one night, apparently swerved and went down a hill, crashing his car. George himself
was walking back home and seeing his brother's car down the hill ran to the car, pulled his injured brother out of the car trying to save him and in the process receiving a glass wound to his left side, but Tom's internal injuries were so severe that he actually died in George's arms
(sorry I'm crying as I type this)

He didn't got to his brothers funeral and ran away up here to university, briefly staying with his Uncle who agreed to let him deal with it in his own way.
George had completely shut the pain out (I personally don't know how anyone is capable of doing that) and disconnected from what happened.

That night of the party I spoke to George outside for most of the night, lying on a bench with him and he confirmed everything his friend said and I finally got an explanation for why he'd disappear into the night - the phone calls were from his family (his Mother's french and his other brothers / sisters regularly speak it) begging him to return home and confront what happened (he hadn't been home in over a year) and every call reminded him of his brother, in which George's own way of dealing with it was to let his aggression and pent up anger on himself, allowing him to temporarily forget. But, as I noticed, he also used to get into a few fights when things kicked off at parties or out in town, like he's always protecting his friends and me

So here we are now, last weekend some more of his mates and his ex-girlfriend showed up from home, she hugged and kissed him and they completely broke down in the front garden, I didn't want to get involved as it looked really personal. She's actually quite a nice person and George said he had feelings for her but he destroyed his ties with back home so he could forget the painful memories of the place where his brother died.

His mates all went back to Kent and we had a talk about everything, he said he's finally going to return home and conquer his demons, that he loves me but
still won't talk completely about his past as yet.

I never knew this at the start of the Year and he must feel so much pain. I love him with all my heart and care so much for him, I want him to hold me in his arms and talk about it - finally reach out to that part of him that he's left closed and guarded

How can I connect or get him to open up ?

Thanks
Hannah