What I thought was the reason wasn't at all.

[Friends&Stuff]

Ok so I posted on here a few weeks ago, about my best friend and I getting into something (not a fight a one sided shove off really) and her kicking me out of her life. I thought it was because I called her on her drinking.

Just to recap, we both had feelings for each other (over a year) and a mutual attraction that ended in us getting together, her breaking up with her on-again-off-again alcoholic boyfriend, then us deciding not to continue right now because truthfully she didn't know where she stood (she'd been with women before, I had not) and neither did I because everything germinated and grew in such poluted soil. We needed space to think things through. Then she gets back with him. My issues were how do I handle seeing her we have all the same friends, what do I tell them, they know nothing of us attracted to each other though I suspect they had ideas, what do i say to her mom when she inevidably comes and asks and two do i mention my concerns about her drinking.

so here's what happened and now I have no clue. Her mom came by. I decided to say here's what happened (all of it, her mom didn't know about us but i figured I can't tell a half story otherwise it looks like I'm hiding things) and here are my concerns for her well being. Here mom tells me she's going to watch her, get her to go to some AA meetings (she'd been but only in support of her boyfriend who dind't go to the meetings, that's just weird, i don't think he's getting the point) because she's noticed some things too and my concerns reneforced her suspicions. Her mom then tells me that she wasn't mad at me, misses me, has self-esteem issues that make her think she doesn't deserve happiness and pushes out things in her life that are really good so she can't get disappointed. She goes on to tell me that her daughter basically feels she's not good enough for me and is jealous of me. So, she was happy with me and that freaked her out, and she thought because she's not as far ahead in life and has issues I deserve someone better and she's not good enough (by the way she is fricken awesome and I was lucky everyday i got to spend with her). She can't leave the boyfriend not for a lack of trying but because this guy the last time she dumped him, and finally confessed her feelings to me, he locked himself in a room and threatened suicide. So that right there would put so much stress on a person.

So what do i do with that? What I thought she was mad about had nothing to do with it and it turns out she did want to be with me, I do make her happy, she acknowledges the drinking may be a problem, and she's too chicken to say what the issue really was. I can't just go up to her and be like, so...I heard you think you're not good enough, that's nuts, get your butt back over here and let's at the very least fix this friendship. I betray her mom in doing that. Yet this is so simple and seemingly so fixable. I know the self-esteem issues go deeper, she was hit as a kid, got into drugs as a teen and OD and stays in a verbally and volitile relationship with a guy because she one doesn't think she deserves better and two is worried what he'd do. She's cheated on him three times all with women so clearly her interests lie elsewhere and he knows about it and uses it against her in arrguments. I've sat there and listened to her say "why won't he just let me go?" It's all messed up. Advice on how I at this point even talk to her or do I just give it time and hopefully she'll be cool with seeing me and being in the same room with me again and maybe we can take it from there? She's been skirting me and events.

[Lite]

What do you do? You move on with your life. Maybe she'll get her shit together in the future, maybe not, but why would you knowingly invite that much insane drama into your life?

[LoveHurts09]

although u have seem serious about trying u need to really accept how much u can live with, being with her isnt going to be exactly dream-like.... not being funny, just think u need to workout how far ur willing to go.. imagine if u got with her and her ex really did kill himself (he wont).... now imagine if he did and u split up (for any reason).

im saying u have the potential to change her life but it could be for the worse if it goes bad.

be her friend, she probably would love some1 to talk to in a completely honest and open way... share her problems with u, could u do that? if u can do that for her then she will see how much u care for her... be patient and let her feel in control.