how do I get my husband to see me as his best friend again.

[heartach]

I have not been the best wife in the means of being controlling, insecure. Jealous and emotionally hurtful to him he has friends that are girls cause his whole life he has related to girls better then with guys. So my jealousy and insecurity didn't help when he would talk to them and have even gone out and done things with them. I am working on me and my issues and was wondering if it will help my husband see me as a bestfriend again my being more of a friend and cool wife then being a nagging wife by letting him do what he wants, let him have his cake and eat it too. How can I show him I'm not jealous or want his frindship again?

[Petit Papillon]

Maybe try to make him involve you in those friendships. You could then see them as friends too instead of potential danger. Tell him you want to be part of his social life. I can't help much, cause my bf and I, we do things together. If he's meeting friends or going out with them, we go together and the same thing happens with my friends. I try to make my friends his and he does that too. I think it's a good thing to have a friend on a side that you can talk to about some things that you can't discuss with your partner, but partner should be the first person to talk to when you have some problems. It's wrong that he's excluding you from this. In my opinion, a partner in life should be your best friend.
Did you try to talk to him about it? Did he give you a chance to fight your insecurities ?

[cheekxs]

I think especially when you are going to marry someone, you 2 most have a best friend relationship.
you suppose to be each others best friend.

Other friends go's to the second place.

I dont know but i think its strange that he have only female friends............... never heard of a guy like that , that is married.

But anyway you need to get into the bottom of your issue. and dont just act like you are not jealous anymore just to make him happy. while you still have the issue.

And i think its okay for you to join his friends 2. So you can see also if there is really a reason to be jealous or not.
And make up for what you did wrong can also be a good start.

[smackie9]

The most healthiest thing in a marriage is having friends and activities outside the relationship, but you also need to be able to share that life as well. Please talk to him about how you feel. You feel very left out...there is nothing wrong with having your own time, BUT, if it's bad enough that he focuses too much time with them and doesn't ask to include you. It's all in your approach in this matter. Just tell him you would like to be more involved in that part of his social life, not as a jealous wife monitoring his every move with them, but just wanting to enjoy the friendship with him. Simple.

[smackie9]

How old are you?

[heartach]

I am 41 and i have mentioned about going with and he said he doesn't want me to because he feels i will be judging and looking and comparing how he acts with them and also cause he wants his own time with them. With the girl he admitted to having a obsessions with that he is supposedly working on he calls it guy time. He doesnt want me with them at all ever.

[heartach]

i know i am probably acting like a child or a tleast younger then what i am but i am insecure and jealous and have had some issues in the past that have not helped and with my husband doing what he is doing and trying to understand and be supportive with his sexual anorexia and insecurities it is hard. I am going to counseling and working on my issues but just needing a guys point of view on what i can do to help my husband and help me understand my husband.

[smackie9]

I'm surprised you married him. He is totally out of line. That would never fly in my relationship. I understand that one needs space but that is ridiculous. I don't really think a guy on this forum would do the same thing to their wife. You both need counseling.

[cheekxs]

Most of the time when i hear of a guy with a lot of female friends is cause he ****s them.
And use the excuse that its just his friends.

I think there is something weird with your guy.
Cause normally guys likes to hang with male friends to do male stuff!