Starting again?

[chucknorris111]

i broke up with my girlfriend a year ago for a certain reason that confused me ... since the breakup we have still been really good friends and i still really love her, i dont know wether she wants to get close or is just flirting... i dont want her not to be friends with me if i do tell her and she does not feel the same way.

how can i sort out this problem? should i just tell her?

[TAVS]

Why did you break up

[Gigabitch]

What have you got to lose by being honest and forthright? Why is this such a rarity?

[vashti]

She isn't really your friend now, is she? It seems you are pining away over her, and friends don't do that.

I think you should lay your cards on the table and not be ruled by your fear of loss.

[chucknorris111]

i want to tell her straight.. but i dont want to loose her as a friend, we broke up because not much was happening but i was told by her best friend that she wanted to take is slow , so i did... but she didnt want that atall and got the wrong idea

should i see if she wants to go out somewhere and i wil tell her then? what if she says no.. i dont want to loose what i alreadyh have

[Ellynn]

i want to tell her straight.. but i dont want to loose her as a friend, we broke up because not much was happening but i was told by her best friend that she wanted to take is slow , so i did... but she didnt want that atall and got the wrong idea

should i see if she wants to go out somewhere and i wil tell her then? what if she says no.. i dont want to loose what i alreadyh have

You might as well tell her. You know why? Because the longer you hold back and keep this friendship going, the more its gonna make you wonder and the more your gonna pine for her.

Right now she might think of you as a friend, but you think of her as more. So you might as well get it out there and find out. Because honestly if shes not interested, do you still want to be around her all the time? If so, can you handle that?

[Gigabitch]

A wise man named Tone once said, "If you want a friend, get a puppy."

Pretty much says it all.

[chucknorris111]

thanks Ellynn, but i dont know what i would do if she said No, i would have to just take it and find someone else.. im going on holiday soon so i will ask her out some time after...

wise words GIGA, but what do you mean by a puppy?

[Steven715]

I think that giga meens a dog sorry had to use up some words

[Ellynn]

I think the only way to get beyond how your feeling and to move on is to get closure. The only way to get closure is to find out for sure.

[Gigabitch]

wise words GIGA, but what do you mean by a puppy?

I mean go to the animal shelter and adopt a young dog, if you're looking for a friend.

Don't swallow your feelings for her because you "don't want to jeopardize the friendship". That's just a lame excuse for chickening out.

Speak up! Tell her!

[Denthrare]

If she is truly a friend to you, it won't make much of a difference whether or not you tell her.

Sure, it'll be awkward for a little while. That's to be expected. But if she truly cares about you as a friend, she will (excuse the rough term) "look over" your confession of affection and will seek you out as a friend again. That's assuming, however, that she doesn't have the same feelings. It's definetly possible.

I've had a similar experience, and my good friend Steph didn't have a problem with it at all. Granted, I have/had no chance with her and know/knew it, but it was a relief to get it out in the open, and she respected that, and me for being honest.

Good luck with this situation.

-Z

[vashti]

If she is truly a friend to you, it won't make much of a difference whether or not you tell her.

Sure, it'll be awkward for a little while. That's to be expected. But if she truly cares about you as a friend, she will (excuse the rough term) "look over" your confession of affection and will seek you out as a friend again.

.

-Z

I disagree. A lot of women will stop being your "friend" once they know you have romantic interest in them. In fact, lots of people believe that straight men and women can never TRULY be friends because of the sexual interest aspect.

[Denthrare]

I appreciate you pointing this out, because I would hate to be giving advice that isn't constructive.

My experience, in this case, has been with one of the few women who would still be friendly after such an event occured. If that's not the norm, then disregard what I have said.

-Z

[clynn]

You broke up with her.

Which means that if this is going to go anywhere again, it will have to come from you.

There is a very good chance that if she is still your friend, still flirting - and if she is single, that she would definitely consider reconciling with you.

Go for it!

Chances are you're both pining away for each other.

Don't wait too long or else she'll just think your only friends.