Time apart, no breakup

[Mike1082]

Ive been with my gf for over 3 years now. When we first got together, I was in my freshman year of college, while she was just finishing up highschool. Long story short: She lived about an hour from me, and being that we were bothin school (she was in community college, living home) we mostly only saw eachother on the weekends. We have been in love since the beginning (or as close to the beginning as would be possible). I was always afraid that because we only saw eachother on weekends, things might be different if we saw more of eachother. However, after being on a few vacations with her, seeing her 24/7, we felt very comfortable being around eachother all the time. Things were great - even better than before.

Fast forward to today - she transferred to my college 1) to be closer to me, and 2) to have a degree from a more recognized school than a community college. I felt very comfortable with having her close by, but also thought that maybe it wasnt a good idea to see TOO much of eachother, as I didnt want to scare her away after all this time. At first, she didnt like it here. Hated the dorms, cafeteria food, hadnt made friends, etc. Now that shes over everything, and has made some friends (both guys and girls) she tells me that she needs some time apart.

Although I think immediately that its over, she tells me that we are not breaking up. She just needs time to herself to do her own thing for a while. She tells me she still loves me, but naturally, im still terrified of losing her. I mean, I love her, she completes me, and i see her in my future (i know youve all heard this story before... im just trying to say "me too").

The worst part is, tomorrow is my birthday, and she felt bad about it... so she said we wouldnt be apart till after my birthday. Now, seriously, I know she wasnt trying to make it worse, but now my birthday weekend is going to be miserable. She is going to be staying here at my place tonight and tomorrow night, but no sex. She tells me that although we will be taking time apart, we will still be bf/gf, and she will not go around telling people we are broken up. But then she also said that after the time apart, whatever happens, happens.

This should all be so simple, it seems. But little things are telling me that this is a way for her to let me down easy. Its so much worse that now she is close to me. I guess what im looking for is to hear from someone that has been in this situation, maybe for some advice to make sure this time apart goes smoothly. Any help is appreciated.

[Lloyd95]

Dude, now that she's out on her own, and getting more attention (from guys) than she's probably ever had, she wants to break up. It's typical. Wait until she turns 21 and hits the bar scene, then a whole new crowd will be giving her the attention that she obviously enjoys.

My suggestion is to just go with it; yes, it'll suck, but there's tons of ladies out there too! Now Man-Up, and go have at it!

[Junsui]

I wish I could give you reassurance that everything will be ok, but I can't. It seems she has started a new life. She may come back to you in the end, but I wouldn't hold my breath in the meantime. I don't want to be mean about it or anything like that. I think the little things telling you it's a way for her to let you down easy are probably correct. Of course, I could be wrong, it's happened before

[Rosebud]

it could be the same thoughts you were having about spending to much time together. She may just need to collect ehr thoughts on all her feelings about everything. I'm not going to say not to worry about it but, you do have to have the understanding that whatever happens, happens. This probably is not something you did, It's probably just her trying to figuer things out. I hope everything works out for you though!

[Tone]

She wants space, you have to give her it.

If you don't, and you cling to her, and smother her, you can be sure to just push her further away.

Cause when you love someone,
You just don't treat them bad,
Oh how I feel so sad,
Now that I wanna leave...
She's crying her heart to me,
How could you let this be,
I just need time to see...
Where I wanna be...
Where I waaaannna be...

[gHEXjt]

Same thing I experienced man. Even the birthday thing fits. She just ended up dumping me a few days after my birthday! Hope it works out better for you. Just don't smother her.

[TAVS]

If you ever want to have a chance to have her back, you have to let go. Trust us on this. But at the same time, recognize there is a good chance you won't get her back period. Pressering her, however, will certainly rule out an possibility of reconciliation