how to say those three little words...

[sam611]

okay. here is my story.

i met this boy in july at a friend's house and felt a connection. we exchanged numbers, added each other on facebook and began the road down to friendship. turns out that he found my best friend attractive at the party and started to ask if she would like him and i was pretty sure she wouldn't so i said "not sure." this lasted a week or so and then finally he talk to my friend and she shot him down. he was a little hurt and he opened up to me a lot since i had kinda been his only connection to her.

a month later and he and i started to hang out around my college campus. he would bring his work to study and we would get a room and study as well as have some interesting (non-sexual) fun. one night he invited back to his place and asked me out on a real date. this was in september.

since then, we've been amazing. we've had our little fights and we've had those moments where we miss each other until it hurts. we also told each other every deep, dark secret each of us has had and that only made us grow stronger and more understanding.

the issue that i'm having is this: how do i know if i love him? i know there isn't a real sign, but there are days where i think about him non-stop and days where we can just sit with each other and say nothing. i feel like at times i love him, but i am never sure. this is the first relationship that i've had where i've felt such a connection. we've been sexually active with one another and we're open about it. we have similar interests and we tend to relate on most things. i just don't know if it's the right time to say those 3 words. it's only been 4 months since we've started dating but a mere 6 since we've known each other. i don't want to seem forward. and i don't want to get shot down.

HELP!!!

[Bokonon]

Don't worry about how to say them if you're still not sure whether or not you love him. Just give it some time and your feelings will become clear, and maybe then if you find you are really in love the words will just come at the appropriate time.

[lovesjoyajm]

You need to define for yourself what love is, or pick the definition that you find the most appropriate. This has been discussed a lot on this forum. Pick your definition of love and then you will know if your feeling/attitudes/actions towards him are love.

I think most people will agree that love isn't a feeling. Don't base your "decision" on how you feel about him. That's probably still infatuation.

[sam611]

You need to define for yourself what love is, or pick the definition that you find the most appropriate. This has been discussed a lot on this forum. Pick your definition of love and then you will know if your feeling/attitudes/actions towards him are love.

I think most people will agree that love isn't a feeling. Don't base your "decision" on how you feel about him. That's probably still infatuation.

the whole definition thing is a good idea. thing is, that might take some work. oh well. those words will have to wait a wee bit longer.

as for the infatuation part, i completely understand. it think my feelings are somewhere in between love and lust.

thanks!

[carl1222]

okay. here is my story.

i met this boy in july at a friend's house and felt a connection. we exchanged numbers, added each other on facebook and began the road down to friendship. turns out that he found my best friend attractive at the party and started to ask if she would like him and i was pretty sure she wouldn't so i said "not sure." this lasted a week or so and then finally he talk to my friend and she shot him down. he was a little hurt and he opened up to me a lot since i had kinda been his only connection to her.

a month later and he and i started to hang out around my college campus. he would bring his work to study and we would get a room and study as well as have some interesting (non-sexual) fun. one night he invited back to his place and asked me out on a real date. this was in september.

since then, we've been amazing. we've had our little fights and we've had those moments where we miss each other until it hurts. we also told each other every deep, dark secret each of us has had and that only made us grow stronger and more understanding.

the issue that i'm having is this: how do i know if i love him? i know there isn't a real sign, but there are days where i think about him non-stop and days where we can just sit with each other and say nothing. i feel like at times i love him, but i am never sure. this is the first relationship that i've had where i've felt such a connection. we've been sexually active with one another and we're open about it. we have similar interests and we tend to relate on most things. i just don't know if it's the right time to say those 3 words. it's only been 4 months since we've started dating but a mere 6 since we've known each other. i don't want to seem forward. and i don't want to get shot down.

HELP!!!

I'm a bit old fashioned (early 30s) but by today's standards where "I love you" really means "I want to be committed to you, and if things keep going as well as they are right now, i will love you" then 4 months of dating is surely enough to feel (and say) "I love you."

Far better than a girl i know who was in a 3 week relationship, and when I asked her how things were going, she replied "I don't know, he hasn't said he loves me yet."

So "I love you" is a slippery term.

Carl.

[misombra]

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kt7L4X4li_k"]YouTube - More than words[/ame]