Lost Cause or not?

[mikwat]

So there's this girl. I met her my senior year of high school and she's been confusing me ever since. The first thing she ever says to me is something along the lines of "you have beautiful eyes" and ever since then we've been really friendly. After that first encounter she took the parking spot next to me everyday for the rest of the year and waited for me to arrive so we could walk up to the school together. Prom time comes around and I'm ready to ask her, but someone else beat me to it. However at prom, she dumps her date and steels me away from mine for at least half of the evening. Then I graduate, and someone else asks me out. I see this girl twice more this summer, but we were still talking online and such. At this point I'm 90% sure that she likes me, but I'm seeing somebody else at the time. So in the fall, I see her three times. Each of these times she comes over to me, she says that she's looking to go to the same school as me, and that she wants to come visit me some time. She never does. Fast forward to May, I'm out doing my reserve training for a month when I get an email asking if I would like to come to senior week with her. At this point I'm single, but in the wrong state so we can't do anything. I finally get home, and run into her at a mutual friends graduation party. After that we start hanging out one on one. At this point I'm really certain that she likes me, as in I've never been more sure of anything in my life. School comes around, she goes off to her school and I get called up to go overseas. We see each other once before I leave. The goodbye hug was interupted by her dad when she started to lean in for a kiss, so nothing happens. I got to Iraq, and she writes me two letters and calls me once (my grandmother was the only other one to do so). A few weeks later, I get back to the states and get to go home. I call her up, and we hang out. We finally kiss, and it was the greatest kiss of my life, nothing fancy but there was a lot of feeling behind it. She goes back to school, and I call and ask if she wants to go out with me. I expect nothing but an absolute yes. I get "a not right now, maybe later". I try to see her over her thanksgiving break, but get nothing. I run into her out randomly, and it was like passing someone in the hall way (just a "hey, how you doing" kinda thing) I call her later to ask if something is wrong. She tells me that "I don't really want to date anyone right now - esspecially with you being far away right now (I was getting ready for deployment), maybe in a year at the earliest-, I don't like commitments, and I'm not good with relationships. We can still hang out, but I think that it would be best as just friends" We still talk sometimes, but it's not the same. Last time I talked to her she just blurted out "I'm kinda dating this kid, just so you know". I know I can't do anything about it, but I want to stay in her life, but in a position where we could be more than friends someday. We kissed almost four months ago, and I'm still thinking about it. She's not the last girl I've done anything with, but she is the last girl that I've actually had feelings for that didn't completely come from my pants.

So this is what I'm confused about, I've never been so sure that I'm liked and wanted around as much as I have been with her, but now I'm feeling kinda ignored and completely rejected. Before, when I asked friends for an estrogen based opinion, they thought we were a couple already. I can't tell if I've just been led on for two years or if there is something still there. Sometimes I will just sit there and think about our history together, and think that I still have a shot, but then sometimes I just don't know. If there is something still there, I would love to see her again.

I've tried to date others since her, but I couldn't stop thinking of her, and that wasn't fair to the other girls. Sorry for all the questions, this is just really bothering me.

So what do you think, Lost cause or not?

[misombra]

kinda sounds like you went to the friend zone.

[mikwat]

kinda sounds like you went to the friend zone.

ok, so help me out here. I don't want to loose touch with her, but I also would rather be more than a friend than a friend.

Sorry, I honestly can't say that I've been in this position before.

[Gigabitch]

It doesn't sound good to me. Of course, nothing is certain until you've tried everything, but it sounds to me like she's blowing you off, and that's really not something you should pursue.

You want to start out on a positive note, not with all this baggage and confusion. I say find another girl.

[mikwat]

It doesn't sound good to me. Of course, nothing is certain until you've tried everything, but it sounds to me like she's blowing you off, and that's really not something you should pursue.

You want to start out on a positive note, not with all this baggage and confusion. I say find another girl.

What do you think caused the big turn-around? Because it really seemed like there was a lot of chemistry there at the beginning, and it's only recently that she's "been blowing me off"

[Gigabitch]

Impossible for me to know that. It could have been any of a hundred things and ultimately it doesn't matter anyway. What matters is that she's cutting you off at the knees.