Should I message my ex boyfriend? Or when? Please help / long post

[Kittykat1234]

My boyfriend and I broke up 2 weeks on Wednesday.

There was no hard feelings, it was mutual but when I wanted him back he said as much as he loves me he doesn't think it will work, then when I begged (stupidly) he said he wanted to, but the next day he dumped me.

I'm his first love and he is mine, and I can't help but think the reason our relationship wasn't working is because of me, every time he didn't text within 2-3 hours I would be moody, and in the past I have finished him over stupid things but we usually got back together, this time I think he had enough.

I found out he had been discussing our sex life when we broke up to his friend (scott) and a girl (who fancies him) was the one who messaged me and told me he loves me and then dropped the bombshell he had discussed when we had sex. I thought he may have cheated and she told me when she asked for his number he turned her down twice.

I rang him and had ago at him, he swore on his little brothers life he hadnt discussed it with her which he would never do if he was lying, which made me think she was there when he was talking to him and overheard, because she knew details of what happened for her to be fully lying.

I shouldn't have had ago at him when trying to rekindle what we had, I put the phone down on him in temper as I felt he disrespected me as a woman, when them things should be private. I think it pushed him further away and saw I didn't change my ways.

I text him saying dale? 4 days ago and he never replied. He hasn't got facebook back and I know he doesn't have texts so I'm gonna send it to his iPod messages. I want him back but I don't want to look needy as I have in the past, and I know now I acted immature.

This is what I've put:

I know your not talking to me and I know you won't reply,

But I'm not doing it for you to reply, I just want you to know that I never wanted this in a million years. I know now you didn't want the relationship, I don't know how long you have been feeling like that and I wish that when you did you could have told me rather than said you wanted to be friends. I know you don't care, and probably won't be bothered about what I'm saying, but I know that at the start of our relationship I was your absolute world and nothing came above me, but at the end the love you had for me wasn't as strong because you walked away no questions asked. I can't say for definite whether you didn't love me because only you know that.

It's hard but I've came to terms now that when you wanted it over - it meant over for good.
I'm sorry i wasn't the easiest girlfriend and that I was the biggest pain in the arse but nobody on this planet could say I didn't love you, and since we broke up I've thinking to myself about how our relationship went bad and it was unfair to just blame you. Since I lost you I realised I needed to change.

I shouldn't have expected you to text every hour of the day, and I shouldn't always jump to conclusions as quick as I do and push you away, you don't deserve that and i don't want to be the same in my future relationships.

I just wish you had spoken more about how you really feel instead of being afraid of hurting me.

Our relationship wasn't the best in the end but we knew we would never cheat on each other or say anything nasty just to hurt one another.
About the Paige thing I don't know if you told her about our sex life, but i know you wouldn't swear on Ethan's life, and how she knew i don't know.

I promise I'm moving on and this is not a way to reconcile our relationship because I know it's over and you can't make someone want you, Im just hoping you realise that my moody arse has calmed down Lol :) and that you would want to be friends in the future, because I think we could have a great friendship.


You have left some stuff here, I don't know if you already knew but you do now and If I never hear from you again, I hope you do everything you said you wanted to and more, because you can do it when you set your mind to it:) and take care x


If anyone thinks there is room for Improvement please tell me, thank you xxx

[searock]

I don't think you should contact him at all. If he wants to collect his things, he will contact you. There really is no point sending him the text you wrote. It's over and only YOU can give yourself closure. Contacting him again will only make it harder for YOU to move on.

[michelle23]

OP this wont be your last breakup and its not the end of the world. you need to cut all contact with him and move on with your life. dont contact him again, accept its over. hell be out of your head within months and youll be ready to meet someone else.
this relationship was awful, learn from these mistakes and avoid making the same ones again.

in future-do not break up with someone unless you really mean it and no there is no going back. these on/off relationships are ridiculous and only make you look like a twat

best of luck

[Kittykat1234]

Do you think he doesn't love me anymore? It hurts to think I may have pushed him too far away and not be able to put it right. I thought coming across like that may indicate to him that I'm willing to change and admitting that I am wrong, he fell in love with me because I was bubbly and fun to be around, by the end it wasn't fun anymore, and I want to prove to him I can be that again in time, not straight away but maybe a chance for the future thanks for your replies.

[klink]

2 weeks is not enough for NC to work.
You have to NC him for at least 1 month.