I know I'm selfish, but is there a third way?

[Greta]

I've been cheating on my boyfriend for half a year.
I never thought I would, but it happened when we were on the brink of breaking up and I was completely lost.

My boyfriend and I have been together for more than 3 years and we do LOVE each other. We're the perfect couple in others' eyes. But then Mr. M came into my life. He's charismatic and smart, and he is just the kind of Prince Charming that I've been waiting for. Well you may ask: why don't you just split with your boyfriend and be with M? The problem is that I'm 22 and he's 48. Well the age problem aside he is a married guy with two kids.

We then had a secret relationship for a few months and we enjoyed our time together. We had great sex and nice chats and he's just a wonderful partner to share life. But sadly when I told him I love him, he got quite serious and said, 'You should know that I'm not in a position to love AND I have no love to offer'. He claimed to like me a great deal, and it seems that he is unable to love anyone. He told me to be slightly detached. I did.

I have been packing my things these days and I took out the cards that my boyfriend wrote to me in the past years. I got sentimental and touched by the sincere words and genuine love from my boyfriend. I felt I am pull back by his love. After a rational second-thought I told M I wanted to end this relationship. I struggled for a while ad said it over the phone because I know I just can't resist him when I see him. When I thought I've managed to convey that msg to him, he said, 'I like you. You made me a happy man'. Perhaps this got straight to my heart and my whole world was turned upside down. And I continue to see him.

Tonight I told him in person that I planned to say my parting speech. I saw a moment of sadness in his eyes and his eyes were overwhelmed. It's like I have stabbed him twice. Then I faltered. I retreated. And then I kissed him and told him to forget what I said. I know clearly that we are both attached and won't give up what we have now. But I just can't leave him but obviously there isn't a future for both of us.

I never consider my relationship a mistake. I know I betrayed my wonderful boyfriend who loves me unreservedly and would forgive any mistakes that I made. I know I'm selfish, but once you've started a relationship, it's not that easy to end it, especially it's a relationship that's most enjoyable.

My boyfriend and M are both important to me. I'm stuck and I don't want to choose between them. Is there a third way?

[Gigabitch]

Sure. You tell your boyfriend what's been going on and because he loves you so much, he will freely accept you having an affair with a married man. That's the third way.

[VincenzoG91]

The third way is to break up with both of them, spend some time alone, and figure out your priorities. Deep down, you know that you don't have a future with M. He has made it clear that he's not going to leave his wife for you. Since that doesn't seem to matter to you like it should, I think that you need a break from both guys so you can work out your own issues. And despite your kind words about your boyfriend, obviously that relationship isn't perfect either, because it isn't enough for you.

[girl68]

Am I the only one disturbed that a man nearly 50 is hooking up with a little 22 year old girl?

[urkiddingme]

Am I the only one disturbed that a man nearly 50 is hooking up with a little 22 year old girl?

if you think that's bad, i know a 16 year old girl who is with a 38 year old right now. pretty disgusting

[VincenzoG91]

Am I the only one disturbed that a man nearly 50 is hooking up with a little 22 year old girl?

She's legal, and odds are that she's more appealing than most women in their 40s or 50s, so there is nothing shocking about his interest, especially since he isn't interested in a serious relationship with her, just sex.

It is a little puzzling that she would be attracted to such an older guy, especially if he isn't taking care of her financially. Maybe she has some daddy issues.

[misombra]

there is no third way. you are in quite a pickle.

[OneQuestion]

You are a bad person I feel so sorry for your BF

[oneandonly]

You are a bad person I feel so sorry for your BF

Second that.

On the othe hand, I like Giga's thrid way. Wanna see if her BF loves her SOOOOO much as she claims....

[davidtorres]

you know what people call you?
Sugar Babies
Gold Diggers
Grave Robbers

[MissAnn]

Threesome?

In all seriousness...stop. You know in your heart you are being ridiculous about this whole thing. These guys are not Edward and Jacob, and you dear are no Bella. If you do really love your boyfriend, yet are willing to betray him for six months than you are a terrible person. Otherwise, you are just a young girl looking for drama. Unfortunately, your little soap opera is affecting someone's family. Grow up.

[burn3d]

I dont think you deserve either of them. U truly are a bad person. You dont love your bf cause if you did you wouldnt be having this affair. Tell your bf so he can break up with your scandalous ass and wait for the day that Mr.M's wife finds out and he leaves your ass to. You deserve to be sad and lonely.

[girl68]

She's legal, and odds are that she's more appealing than most women in their 40s or 50s, so there is nothing shocking about his interest, especially since he isn't interested in a serious relationship with her, just sex.

It is a little puzzling that she would be attracted to such an older guy, especially if he isn't taking care of her financially. Maybe she has some daddy issues.

Oh I understand the "appeal" But that doesn't mean it isn't straight up nasty. Perhaps he has some daughter issues that makes him think its okay to be involved with little girls his daughters age.

[VincenzoG91]

It's possible, but unlikely. You know what kind of guys are attracted to 22 year-old women? Teenage boys, dudes in their 20s, guys in their 30s, men in their 40s, etc. Most women in porn are between the ages of 18-25 for a reason.

By attracted, I mean sexually attracted. Aside from sex and general bragging rights, there isn't much reason for a 48 year-old guy to like a 22 year-old woman. She doesn't have much life experience, hasn't accomplished much, and can't easily hold her own in an interesting conversation about most topics. There are always exceptions, of course.

[girl68]

Doesn't make it not nasty that lots of men do this. All men who like little girls who are as old as their fathers is nasty.