Relationships with coworkers

[LailaK]

Last week I went out with some friends including a guy I know from work. He made a move and I think I like him as well. My question is if any of you have experience with work place romances. I bet it could all go horribly wrong if we broke up badly.

Thoughts?

~L

[Illusional]

that depends on what kinda job you have. if you're working in a smaller company, word always gets around. if you're in a larger company, word still gets around, but it's not as bad...

also can i ask your age group? younger people tend to gossip more, but it more so depends on the person.

overall, i'd say f*ck it and just try it. i always tried and most of the time i worked out fine.

raverboy

[Cbrider]

I can tell you about it going horribly wrong, its a pain in the ass and word spreads like wildfire. That said, would I consider it again? Yes.

It's a sticky situation, but I don't like not knowing what could have happened.

[vashti]

I haven't had a workplace romance before, but yesterday a doctor spontaneously grabbed my hand and held on to it. I literally blushed like a schoolgirl and became instantly tongue-tied. I hope no one else noticed.

[Cbrider]

I haven't had a workplace romance before, but yesterday a doctor spontaneously grabbed my hand and held on to it. I literally blushed like a schoolgirl and became instantly tongue-tied. I hope no one else noticed.

It might have something to do with the fact that you are better looking than most of the 20 somethings out there.

[vashti]

It might have something to do with the fact that you are better looking than most of the 20 somethings out there.

Now YOU are making me tongue-tied!

But thank you.

[LailaK]

I'm 24. I work in an industry where we work really long hours and a lot of my co-workers find the majority of their friends and significant others. I might give it a go but I'm not sure.

[Cbrider]

I'm 24. I work in an industry where we work really long hours and a lot of my co-workers find the majority of their friends and significant others. I might give it a go but I'm not sure.

Your motives sound flawed. You basically are admitting defeat and just going to fall into the "general" category. You say that because you work long hours that there is basically no other way to meet people - wrong. Hell, I work 50 hours a week, go to the gym daily and go to school, yet I still find time to meet people outside of work and post on here.....

Look, if you like him because he's a standout guy, that's one thing. If you like him because he's the cutest of a limited pool you have decided you must choose from, then your setting up for failure.

What is your industry and specific focus?

[Sean916]

Im not in the exact same situation but i do really really like a girl at work. and i have thought the same thing about co workers. but in my opinion, if you dont try... how will you ever know? i say if you like him, give it a shot. I know i am going to

[Lipp]

Personally I don't think I'd do it just because of the inherent problems.

1. As already mentioned, gossip and distorted perceptions of any actions you take towards one another, as it implies that you can no longer stick to being seen as purely professional.

2. Bringing work issues home, so that it doesn't become a job that you can ignore once the day is over, and the chance of bringing home issues to work.

3. Chance of seeing eachother for very extended periods of time, if you meet at home as well as most of the time at work it might become overwhelming.

4. If working in the same field and section there might be more of a dispute over pay, workload, coworkers e.t.c than in separate jobs.

5. If things go sour, especially if there's a break-up, it may be difficult to handle without one of you quitting altogether, or at the very least transferring.

Personally I'd say that it's not worth it unless it's a job that the two of you do as a shared passion rather than to make a buck.

[LailaK]

Your motives sound flawed. You basically are admitting defeat and just going to fall into the "general" category. You say that because you work long hours that there is basically no other way to meet people - wrong. Hell, I work 50 hours a week, go to the gym daily and go to school, yet I still find time to meet people outside of work and post on here.....

Look, if you like him because he's a standout guy, that's one thing. If you like him because he's the cutest of a limited pool you have decided you must choose from, then your setting up for failure.

What is your industry and specific focus?

That's not what I'm saying. I meet and date other people all the time. I work in gaming and it's hard to meet people on the regular but I'm committed to dating so I make it happen.

I'm not sure about dating him because there is someone else in my life that I'm super attracted to and would like to know better but who probably just likes me as a friend. I'm on the tail end of that and then here comes this other guy who I also like, just not as much. Both of them are really nice guys and the logical side of my brain tells me to stop focusing on the guy who seems to just want friendship and focus on the guy (my co-worker) who clearly likes me. My heart says I've been single for so long that I'm settling.

I hate drama, and strive to be drama free. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that if the guy I really like decided to let me know he liked me back I'd be his in a heartbeat. Seems pretty messy to get involved with a coworker with a huge "maybe" on the horizon.

On the other hand, am I doing myself a disservice by waiting for something that I want but may never come to pass? Am I passing up a potential great relationship by waiting for someone who never asked me to wait for them in the first place?

ugh.