How to work things out?

[Tiffy4269]

My b/f and I have been dating for four years and moved in together early this year.

I got into an argument with him about 6 weeks ago and therefore is living with his best friend. We talked 2 days after the argument but did decide what we were going to do, only that he was scared to live with me emotionally b/c of the things I would say.

I started therapy the week of the argument b/c I wanted to find better ways to deal with stress. It was only recently that I started getting upset over little things and I felt that therapy would really help with that.

I called him for the holiday and left a voicemail but he did not call back. I have been staying with my grandma cause I could not take being at our place. He hasnt come back for not one thing so it became difficult to be there and try and deal with all of this.

I am looking for a temporary job while I am here b/c I was terminated from my job back home due to issues I was having with ethical things going on and I just did not feel that my job was a good fit for me.

I am weary about going back home b/c I do not feel ready. It has really bothered me that he hasnt talked to me. I wish I had gotten help sooner and maybe this wouldnt have happened but it has and I am really upset about it b/c now the person I was planning to spend the rest of my life with doesnt even want to talk to me.who wanted to spend their life with me, isnt talking to me.

[Moonchild]

If you've tried to contact him and he won't call back, there's not a whole lot you can do about it. Going all stalker-like and tracking him down won't work, getting upset with him won't work... If you haven't apologized, do it. If he still won't talk to you, it's time to start making other plans.

[vashti]

Unfortunately, sometimes people can only learn to control their emotions and behaviors because of harsh consequences. It sounds like this may be the case for you. Sorry.

[Gigabitch]

Tiffy, the important part is that you're doing the work you need to do on yourself. He may not come back, and that hurts, but if that's what it takes for you to start dealing with your anger, then so be it.

Life is short, but it's wide. You may realize, in a couple of years, that he was so definitely NOT the person you should spend the rest of your life with. Therapy is going to really change your outlook on a great many things if you stick with it long enough to have an effect.

Give yourself a chance. Maybe he wasn't the one, but that doesn't mean you'll live the rest of your life without love. You're going to be okay.

Pretty soon you're going to have to go home and face the fact that he's not there. Don't do this too close to Christmas. Do it soon.

[cuddlemonster]

My b/f and I have been dating for four years and moved in together early this year.

I got into an argument with him about 6 weeks ago and therefore is living with his best friend. We talked 2 days after the argument but did decide what we were going to do, only that he was scared to live with me emotionally b/c of the things I would say.

I started therapy the week of the argument b/c I wanted to find better ways to deal with stress. It was only recently that I started getting upset over little things and I felt that therapy would really help with that.

I called him for the holiday and left a voicemail but he did not call back. I have been staying with my grandma cause I could not take being at our place. He hasnt come back for not one thing so it became difficult to be there and try and deal with all of this.

I am looking for a temporary job while I am here b/c I was terminated from my job back home due to issues I was having with ethical things going on and I just did not feel that my job was a good fit for me.

I am weary about going back home b/c I do not feel ready. It has really bothered me that he hasnt talked to me. I wish I had gotten help sooner and maybe this wouldnt have happened but it has and I am really upset about it b/c now the person I was planning to spend the rest of my life with doesnt even want to talk to me.who wanted to spend their life with me, isnt talking to me.

Sometimes the definite doesn't occur the way we want it too, I think he feels that you cant change and has moved on, if you want to salvage anything, remember the good memories and use those to guide yourself to a better you and move on to other people. trust me, there are so many other people out in this world.

[CAM]

Is the apartment lease in your name? If so, pack up his stuff (with a witness that is a neutral party) and mail it to him COD. Then, if the lease is almost over, then pay for the lock change and then leave the apartment.

[Tiffy4269]

the lease is not up until september of next year.

[CAM]

the lease is not up until september of next year.

Oh, fudge... You are sooo feeling the financial pain. Parents helping out or do you have the bucks to pay ? As soon as he misses a payment on the place, you are going to have to get the locks changed. If he comes back and gets irate, then a court order.

[Tiffy4269]

my parents have a lot of stuff going on so they can only help so much. i really would like to work things out with him. if that is not an option we need to make arrangements for the apt and getting out of our lease and him to get his stuff out. his cell phone is turned off and that means he didnt pay the bill. i mentioned something to his mom on tuesday that he and i need to make arrangements and she said she would like us to handle this and she will contact him via email/instant message. as of today i have not heard back from her.