Why do people always say to take things slow?

[Ray75]

Now I have heard this so many times bt if the feeling is there for both parties at the beginning, why not go for it? I mena I dont know about other people but I know if that intense feeling is there for somebody, it can hurt as bad not showing it as it can getting your heart broken.

The last time I took it slow with somebody i really cared for, it ended in more confusion and heartache then i could imagine. it made me always wonder and question her feelings for me and in the end, it was a huge waste of my time and my heart.

Now if strong feelings are there from the beginning for both parties, why not go for it and see what happens. I think it is much better to kick back and enjoy it risking a fail raqther than keep a distance and have it fail anyway.

[Jimmy1218]

The speed you take depends on your situation.

[Miss hotty]

Ray75 i total agree with you it's so true

[loveDoc]

i see where you going with this ray75, but its true that most people still fear of taking another step forward as they are afraid of the outcome.

[Ray75]

Yes. People are afraid but if you do not take that step, who knows what is going to happen? I mean i am scared as hell that my new relationship may have a bad outcome but instead of backing off, we are both jumping head first into this hoping for the best while enjoying every part of it. Now i cant really see this relationship going bad but if it does, even though, i would probably take it really hard, i would still have all the wonderful memories and after the healing process is over, i could still smile at some of those memories.

[Gigabitch]

I'm with you, Ray. Just don't get married or move in together yet. As far as extreme romance goes- go for it!

[Junket]

It's not about fast or slow.

It's about smart.

The two most compatible people in the world could still manage to **** it up if they don't play things right.

[Gigabitch]

It's not about fast or slow.

It's about smart.

The two most compatible people in the world could still manage to **** it up if they don't play things right.

Damn straight. Jeeze, Frasbee. I keep forgetting how young you are. You're so....wise.

[anachronistic]

what does taking it slow even mean? what the ****? how do you take a relationship *slowly*? does that mean wait for a year to have sex, or progress from friends to girlfriends/boyfriends over long periods of time?

i can't really answer this question because it is such a flexible term.

[Ray75]

It's not about fast or slow.

It's about smart.

The two most compatible people in the world could still manage to **** it up if they don't play things right.

Now i am not talking about rushing into marrage or even moving in together but why not let whatever feelings you have be known and just enjoy everything for what it is?

If both people feel the same way, Why not just go for it and see what happens?

Now in my last relationship (or whatever you want to call it), she said she wanted to take things really slow. it got to the point where finally she didnt even want to use the term boyfriend/girlfriend. Every time i tried to get close and inside her head, she backed away and it confused the hell out of me. One minute she would be all into me and the next minute she would be cold and distant saying she wanted to take it slow.

Now i really liked this girl and wanted to see where it would go but things got really confusing so i had to walk away. Now messing things up cn really hurt and you end up heart broken but it is not much better when you have feelings for somebody but have no idea how the person is feeling back towards you. That relationship was pretyt confusing.

[Marissa]

Haha, I told Sloth I wanted to take things slowly... I guess for me it meant that we wouldn't move in together on the second date. As far as telling someone how you feel and all of that, yeah. I say take that as it comes... and don't bottle things in the interest of "taking things slowly". If the feelings are there, let them be known... because that way if the person doesn't feel the same about you, you can decide whether it's a waste of time.

[Junket]

Every time i tried to get close and inside her head, she backed away and it confused the hell out of me. One minute she would be all into me and the next minute she would be cold and distant saying she wanted to take it slow.

I would suspect there's more to it than you realized. She sounds insecure for whatever reason. This is why she would exhibit confusing signals. As soon as you started to take initiative, she saw that as a threat to her security. If she gave in to it, that was synonymous to giving up control, passing off the reigns. She probably only "opened up" when she was comfortable with herself, and not so much, comfortable with you.

From what I can see, the problem wasn't you at all. It was her. She doesn't represent the majority population at all.

I keep forgetting how young you are. You're so....wise.

Well, put a beer in front of me and you'll see the most daft expression you've ever seen.

[Ray75]

I would suspect there's more to it than you realized. She sounds insecure for whatever reason. This is why she would exhibit confusing signals. As soon as you started to take initiative, she saw that as a threat to her security. If she gave in to it, that was synonymous to giving up control, passing off the reigns. She probably only "opened up" when she was comfortable with herself, and not so much, comfortable with you.

From what I can see, the problem wasn't you at all. It was her. She doesn't represent the majority population at all.



Well, put a beer in front of me and you'll see the most daft expression you've ever seen.

I think you got it. The one time she was really affectionate was after we had bene drinking. like she was a completley different person